female poets: a place to begin

Yesterday, I shared that I'm thinking about the tables I want to sit at when having conversations about the beautiful questions (as David Whyte calls them), and one part of this is sharing more about poetry here on my blog and reading and sharing more female poets.

So here's a list of just a few to get you exploring. Because poets tend not to have personal websites, I'm linking to Poetry Foundation for you to learn more about these female truth tellers and adventurers and read more of their poems. Please feel free to share other female poets and your favorite poems in the comments. I'd love this post to become a beautiful resource for all of us.

Naomi Shihab Nye: Her poem "Kindness" is one of my favorites. I also love her collection Red Suitcase. What Have You Lost? is often by my bedside; it's a collection of poems by others she gathered on that topic. 

Marge Piercy: I remember the first time I read "The Day My Mother Died" and stood rereading it again and again, my mouth agape with that "I'm not the only one" kind of feeling swirling around me. I also love the poem "Colors Passing Through Us." And her collection The Moon Is Always Female must be mentioned in this week's poetry conversation.

Sharon Olds: Her poem "I Go Back to May 1937" was the first poem that caused me to say "Oh shit" out loud (there have been others). I've written about it several times (including here), but I have to mention it today because of the way it tells a story so many of us touch around the edges of but seldom have words for. Her collection "The Father" is about her father's illness and death and her reflections on all of it. It is gritty and masterful. In other collections she writes about the real stuff of motherhood and holds nothing back. Here she is reading "The Clasp." (Wow. Just wow.)

Jane Kenyon: I have Kenyon's Collected Poems. I pick it up, read one maybe two poems, then try to catch my breath and put it down for two to four months, then repeat the process. I could probably devote an entire blog post to explain why, but part of me really wants you to discover her on your own and begin your own conversations with her. A few for you to begin with: "Let Evening Come," "Happiness" (you can hear her read it), and "The Shirt," which might just surprise you and make you laugh out loud.

Diane Ackerman: I'm a big fan of Diane Ackerman's A Natural History of the Senses and have had A Natural History of Love on my shelf for a long time. It's now in the pile of books I'm hoping to read this winter. With these books though, you get more of her naturalist/poet self; they aren't filled with poems. You can dive into her poetry in Origami Bridges. And here's one for you to read right now: "We Are Listening."

Elizabeth Bishop: Her personal story just really captures me. She is now recognized as one of the great American poets, but she wasn't well known while alive. So many of her poems rhyme, which is also intriguing to me. Here's one for you: "Full Moon, Key West."

and of course, Mary Oliver: She's my favorite poet. The one I turn to daily. At retreats, I will often pick up one of her books from the basket of poetry I have beside me and just turn to a poem. It is almost always the one the group needs to hear at that point in the retreat. Magic. Her poems often chronicle the walks she takes each day. And they just tell the real stuff about life...about being a human in this beautiful, heartbreaking world. I'm so grateful for her. I pretty much recommend every collection, but Red Bird is a great one to start with. And here's one of her poems, "Breakage," for you to read aloud again and again.

And then there's Nikki Giovanni and Kathleen Norris and Marianne Moore and Susan Howe...there are so many others. Please do share your own favorites in the comments.

Tomorrow our week of poetry continues, so please do meet me back here.

beautiful questions

 

Here, a woman stands at a seat between Rilke and Heaney, across from Whyte, and wonders if she can sit down.

These are the words I wrote while listening to poet David Whyte speak earlier this month.

I'm a big fan of David Whyte's work in the world and his poetry. If you've been at one of my retreats, I've probably read you a few of his poems. Kelly Barton has a great story about me reading his poetry to her while a storm pounded down outside the house we were staying in in Manzanita, Oregon. His words opened her up to poetry in a new way; little did she know I was reading to keep myself centered because the storm was pretty much freaking me out as we were on the ocean with floor to ceiling windows as the sea and sky raged all around us.

Over the last nine years, David Whyte's words have become talismans I carry with me to remind me that I'm not alone.

But while listening to him speak for two days, my friend Bridget and I noticed one glaring omission: the poetry of women.

Whyte is a storyteller and philosopher who uses his own poetry and the poetry of others to share what he believes about this awesome, sometimes heartaching, gorgeous life we all live. And I love this approach. Sharing a story and the poem born from that story. The audience hopefully spends some time reflecting on their own lives and how it all connects. Alternatively he shares a poem by someone else who connects to his story or a poem by another that prompted a response of his own poem. There is a rhythm to his storytelling that often feels like home to me.

I use a somewhat similar approach when I teach at retreats. I love to share a story that will hopefully invite the women I'm teaching to open their hearts up just a bit more and then I invite them to share their own stories and put pen to the page. I also love using the poetry of others as an entrypoint to our own writing; I want my students to be able to nod along as I read poetry and see themselves inside the stories, even if they've never had the experience the poet is sharing. 

While listening to Whyte this time, I struggled to find a way to see myself in the stories and poems he shared. Women made appearances in the typical forms of daughter, mother, lover, but they weren't seen as hero, deep thinker, person who might change the world, or even person struggling with life's big "stuff."

And this has me pausing over here. I'm actually not in deep judgement of Whyte's work. The reality is that I'm a big fan and at the two other events I attended with him over the years, I didn't have this reaction. Most observations are more about how his omission brought up some "beautiful questions" as he calls them that have me asking: What tables do I want to join? What stories do I need to tell? What poems are waiting to be born inside me? What female poets should the world know more about?

As I dive deep into gathering stories and beautiful questions as I work on a new offering I want to share with you next year, I'm heading to my bookshelves and starting with Sharon Olds, Madeleine L'Engle, and Diane Ackerman. They feel like old friends who have a seat just waiting for me.

Today, think about the tables you want to sit at and the stories you want to help tell in the world.

And tomorrow come back as I've decided to make this a week all about poetry on my blog, and I'll be sharing some of my favorite female poets and few other fun things this week!

*****

As I think about the need for female voices at tables around the world, it feels pretty awesome to share that my ecourse Poem It Out is now available as an ongoing offering. This means you can sign up at anytime and you'll have access to the full course so you can dive into the world of poetry. This course includes four weeks of poetry and creativity prompts taught with both written material and more than two hours of video. To learn more about it and read testimonials from those who've already poemed it out, head over here.

staying in touch with faraway grandparents

Eleanor is lucky to have three sets of grandparents, but all of them live very far away from us. One of the new things I'm trying to do to keep us connected is to send letters and artwork in the mail. She comes home with a lot of artwork from school, which is awesome, but also has me wondering what the heck to do with it all. There's a small stack that is going into cards we'll send, and we're going to use the huge pieces of painted paper that come home from time to time to wrap some Christmas gifts.

When Ellie's official school photos came home a couple of weeks ago, not only was I wondering if it might be the best school photo of all time (because seriously! it is in the photo at the bottom of this post), but I also thought we should do something special to send copies to her grandparents. Over the summer, I had a great conversation with someone over at Treat, which is one of Shutterfly's sites that focuses just on cards. It was fun to learn about the site, and as soon as I saw Ellie's photos, I finally had the perfect idea to try them out.

I sat with Ellie and we made a list of her favorite things about school so far. All the words are hers, though the editor in me couldn't stop myself from making the list "parallel" in structure. That urge just never leaves me.

We then sat down at my computer and chose a photo from the handful of first day of school photos I'd taken. She insisted it was her favorite favorite favorite, and we put it on the front of the card.

We had the option of adding another photo inside, and I remembered that we had a great one from her teachers. In September they focused on "construction" and had their first field trip to the facilities department on campus. Ellie talked about it for days. So I asked her to tell me about this photo and her favorite parts of learning about construction. I literally typed what she dictated to me, and I love how she started by saying, "This photo is full of joy!"

I typed up her list and then we were able to put a tiny photo of her on the back plus a short note. She wanted to type so I spelled "Made with love by Eleanor Jane," and she was so excited to be able to type like Mama on the laptop. The whole process was very easy and we were on the Treat website for about 15 minutes from beginning to end.

About one week later the cards arrived. You can have Treat mail the cards for you, but we wanted to include her school photo + I wanted her to sign her name because she's writing her name everywhere these days.

The ease of using Treat + how fast they come + the joy on Ellie's face when she saw the cards in person and was able to sign her name and put them in the envelopes pretty much means the grandparents will be getting these every couple of months. I can slide in other photos I've printed out at home, and they can feel a lot more connected to all of us.

So. Much. Fun!

Disclosure: Treat did not sponsor this post or provide me with free cards. However, affiliate links are used throughout, which means I receive a small commission if you order from Shutterfly or their companies through these links.

inviting in delight

Over in Hand to Heart this month, we're inviting in delight, so I'm asking variations of this question and providing some ideas all month long.

I love this word. 

But I know it can be a tough one.

It pushes me to wonder, "Do I really ever feel delight?"

Of course I do. But to focus on it can feel a little foreign, like wading into a level of self-care that might be indulgent. And indulgence can feel off or self-centered.

But what if delight was an access point to joy? To setting down old stories of being too much? To letting in more light into your everyday life (even when it rains)?

Take a few moments and ask yourself: How can I let in more delight today?

Think about wearing your slippers to pick up the kids at school because your feet just don't want to be in anything else.

Think about buying three more of your favorite candle because you're now going to light one every evening as your one act of delight each day.

Think about texting a friend just to say, "You bring so much joy into my life" and then the next day sending another one that says, "I want you to know I'm so grateful for you" and then the next "How's it going over there?" and so on. 

Think about taking just one bite of ice cream right from the container when you get home from work and standing in the kitchen savoring it as it melts in your mouth.

Think about taking your glass of wine right into the shower as you wash off the thickness of the day.

Think about playing another round of Old Maid with your granddaughter because she laughs so loud when one of you gets the Old Maid and you can feel your capacity for delight grow each time.

Yes.

You can invite in more delight in simple ways.

And if you want to talk more about this practice and other ways you can embrace the beauty and the grit of each day, come on over to Hand to Heart (it's free). We've got our arms open for you. 

love this :: everyday outfits (november)

It's been awhile since I've shared an everyday outfits post. Now that we're really in the midst of autumn in the Pacific Northwest, here's a glimpse at what I'm wearing and loving and stacking stacking stacking.

1) This denim shirt from J.Crew Factory (hat tip to Elise) is finally (FINALLY!) the denim shirt I've been looking for. It's fitted but still roomy and it's really chambray so it isn't heavy. Great for under sweaters or as an outer layer. And I'm doing the denim on denim thing and loving it.

2) I'm stacking these bracelets in multiple colors daily over here. They caught my eye when I was checking out at Paper Source and I was delighted when they fit me. I have trouble sliding bangle-style bracelets over my hand but my wrist isn't large, so that makes for an interesting relationship with bracelets. These stretch just a bit and somewhat vary in size. I pretty much want about 20 more to wear on both wrists. They are fair trade bracelets made from recycled flip flop materials. Awesomesauce.

3) And I love to stack them with my Five Deep Breaths bracelet that I wear every single day lately as I keep holding my ground with love with my strong-willed awesome intense four year old.

4) This Wild Shirt from Umber Dove Studios is basically on rotation two to three times a week over here. It fits like a dream and makes me so happy. I have it in purple and love it in the gray too. 

5) With an outfit like this one, if I were leaving the house, I'd probably wear my favorite "non-traditional" Ugg Grandle boots that I've shared before (this year's similar version here), but today, I want to tell you about my fox slippers. I've mentioned my plantar fasciitis that has been hurting me on and off for the last year. For the last two months, I've been wearing supportive shoes almost every single time I'm walking. As in as soon as I get out of bed, I slip on shoes and keep them on all day long. For a person who prefers being barefoot, it has been a bit excruciating at times. As I go from the studio to the house, often in the rain, I want something that I can stand in for short periods of time hammering at the project table but that also just feels cozy as the studio warms up in the morning and most importantly makes me happy. These foxes have hit the sweet spot for me.

6) My favorite JJill jeans bit the dust recently. I still have a pair that I've cut the too long length off of that I wear sometimes, but gosh I wish it wasn't all skinny/slim fit jeans all the time everywhere as I look for a similar pair. I'm back to the Dreamer bootcut jeans from Old Navy, and I'm remembering why I do really love them. Super comfortable and really flattering. Thinking I'd like to get them in the slightly lighter wash too. And when I'm doing the skinny-ish jeans thing, I still wear these NYDJ boyfriend jeans and unroll them and tuck them into my favorite tall boots.

Check out other everyday outfit posts here.

Quick note: Some links are affiliates, which means I receive a small commission when you purchase from that online store.

the turtleneck sweater

Last week, I decided to put on my favorite black cashmere turtleneck sweater. I was about to head into my studio and remembered I'd forgotten to turn the heat up, so I knew it was going to be chilly in there for the first hour or so.

This is a sweater I've had for years that bought at Lord & Taylor in downtown Chicago. And I wore it a lot. I think it was even part of my wedding rehearsal outfit almost 12 years ago.

But I haven't worn it in years because sometime in the last 12 years, Stacy and Clinton of "What Not To Wear" (and probably other articles I read in "women's magazines" when I used to read "women's magazines") convinced me that my body type and turtleneck sweaters were not friends. Something about how my boobs and my waist and my neck would all blur into a lumpy mess. I should focus on scoop necks. And it is true, scoop necks do look good on me, especially because I wear a bra that fits (insert quick digression where I gently suggest you go to Nordstrom to get fitted for a bra that is your size honey. please give yourself this gift).

I got rid of all my other turtlenecks, including a favorite favorite favorite chenille sweater that was just like my friend Virginia's that she let me borrow on the morning after a crazy night out when we lived in Chicago and my mom was driving up for a girls' shopping day and I overslept at Virginia and Rebecca's and wasn't at my own apartment and my mom thought I was dead when I didn't answer the buzzer and she left about 10 voicemails where she's yelling into the phone "ARE YOU THERE???" and when I woke up I quickly showered and put on V's sweater and my jeans from the night before and some of Rebecca's perfume and took a cab to my own apartment and apologized to my mom because I'd never done anything like that before even though dude I was 23. Thank god for cell phones so when Ellie does this to me she can just text and say, "In the morning, can you just swing by my friend's place and pick me up because I'm sleeping over here tonight?" And I'll wake up at 3:30 when the phone goes off and thank the angels for helping her make smart decisions in not trying to get home on her own when she shouldn't and text back "yep. love you."

Anyway, I kept the soft black turtleneck sweater and moved it around my room from time to time until I found it again on top of my sweater pile last Friday.

And then here's what I did. I put on my current favorite lipstick (in butternut) and stood out in our messy living room and held out my iphone camera and turned until I found some decent light (just like my friend Viv taught me) and snapped a photo. Because of the messiness around me, I clicked a black and white filter and posted this photo with these words:

Years ago, Stacy and Clinton convinced me my body type can't wear turtlenecks, but I've kept this cashmere turtleneck sweater I bought at Lord & Taylor in the late 90s in Chicago because it was my first cashmere purchase with money I made in my real job after college. Today I set down that old story and look you in the eye and say, "Yes, I have a double chin and I'm still going to wear what makes me feel beautiful and full of light and love."

Of course I'm aware that in this photo you can't see my double chin because the sweater and the angle I took the photo hide it. But I have one and sometimes it really distracts me from feeling beautiful. And I cringe when I see certain photos from the side when my double chin is really more like a really big neck because I eat too much cheese and ice cream. I seldom post photos from the side because I don't want to look at this part of me and I really don't want you to look at it.

During the last ten years, I've come to a place of love for my body and all that it helps me do each day. I've found clothes that fit and make me happy. I take self-portraits to help myself feel deeply seen by me, the one person who deeply knows where I've been. I dance and do yoga and let my body do what it loves. And I've marveled at how this body grew a human and lived to tell the story.

But that doesn't mean that I don't get tripped up in the old stories from time to time or that I don't think about what some people might be thinking when they look at a body my size.

Moments like the one I captured above, where I remember one of those old stories and make the choice to set it down, become a powerful step toward continuing to love this body of mine. 

Turtleneck sweaters that make me very happy are now back in rotation baby!

I hope you can set one of your own stories down today.

Much love,
Liz 

PS If you're in a place where you need to find a softer self-talk and look at yourself with more love and kindness, I highly recommend Vivienne McMaster's class Be Your Own Beloved. It starts tomorrow and it will change your life (for real).

a sea glass altar

the sea glass altar

Adorned with pearls and gemstones, this necklace includes a locket that holds a handful of sea glass Ellie and I found at North Beach in Port Townsend, Washington. This is one of my new favorite offerings from the Where the Forest Meets the Sea Collection. I think of it like a wearable altar because the locket is thick enough that it can hold sacred treasures that you want to carry with you, so you can put a small feather or note or other treasure inside it right next to the sea glass.

I chose these pearls to connect you to the sea, several sizes and shapes of aquamarine to connect you to the courage and peace within you, and kyanite is included to support you in speaking your truth when you need to.

There's just one available right now, but when it sells out, if you'd like me to create a custom sea glass altar necklace for you, I'm happy to make one. Just get in touch.

A few lines from the essay I wrote that inspires the pieces I add to this collection:

I come to the sea to let go of what no longer serves me as I ask her to take pieces of grief and all that will not be out with the tide. I imagine all of it tumbling with shell fragments and driftwood until it entwines with the seaweed that sways farther than I can see.

I come to the sea to remember me…

You can find the sea glass altar necklace and others from this collection in my new shop.

sometimes the day starts upside down.

Yesterday: There's a lot that did not go well in the last 35 minutes of getting them out the door for school. But because we were running late, we had this "LOOK! It's a beautiful pink sky Mama" moment standing under the trees in our front yard. 

Sometimes the day starts upside down. Sometimes you say "hurry up" about 25 times more than you wish you had. Sometimes you want to put the words back into your mouth. Sometimes you wonder if this is really your life.

But then beauty arrives and your little one stops to make sure you all notice and you are reminded: You're doing something right. 

You push yourself to remember that most days aren't this hard. Most mornings are have more ease and laughter than pushing and pulling. And you choose to open your heart to kindness and love. 

Toward yourself.

Toward those you love.

Toward the woman who will experience other upside down mornings in the days to come.

Because each day you choose.

Yes.