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circle of kindreds (a guest post with jen louden)

liz lamoreux

I'm away hosting one of my retreats and thrilled to share another Circle of Kindreds post with you this week. 

Today, I'm so delighted to share some wisdom from Jen Louden. I love the way Jen moves through the world with her honesty and open heart and laughter. So grateful to know her and to share her words with you today.

And, I can't wait for her free The Shero's School for Revolutionaries that begins September 23. I hope you come along because it is going to be so good.

***

Last week I tracked Diana Nyad as she swam the last two miles of her record breaking odyssey from Cuba to Key West, Florida.

I couldn’t tear myself away. As someone who doesn’t usually care a fig about sports, I watched myself with curiosity as I sobbed and clicked from CNN.com (horrendous coverage) to Breaking News (equally horrendous) to a rousing conversation on Twitter.

Why did I care so much?

Because it is never too late.

Diana wanted. She burned with a desire for 35 years - or longer, how do I know? There is something fundamental to all dreams and that is declaring, “I want that.”

When I groan, "It's too late," what I really mean is I am unwilling to proclaim, “I want this.”

When I moan, “I’m too old, it’s too hard, I don’t know how, someone else has already done it better” but what I'm actually saying is “I’m not willing to ache.”

When I get sleepy and leave crucial details to chance near the end of project (like this one), I’m actually saying “I’m too scared to bet it all.”

It’s never too late doesn’t mean one form of a dream doesn't end – Diane Nyad knew this was her last attempt at swimming the 105 mile mile stretch of treacherous open ocean – and if she hadn’t made it, the essence of her desire would have continued to reveal itself to her in new forms. Yes, you must grieve all the dream avenues that fail, become dead-ends, you must face those griefs and mourn, and doing that is very different than donning a stained T-shirt inscribed with “Too late.” The essence of every dream continues to reveal itself, to be the grit in the pearl of your becoming, if you allow it. You must not let the husk of failed dreams bury what still urgently calls you.

It’s never too late to take the essence of what you care about and build it, savor it, offer it to the aching world. It’s never too late to become the fullness of yourself, not because that fullness is a better you, but because something pulls at you and that something is your own pounding heart, singing “Experience me even more!”

And too late by whose clock?

Before clocks, there was only cow time as in, “I’ll meet you when the cows come home.” Before that, dream time where the world was sang into being. You are here to live out your personal myth, to become the shero of your own story. Too late doesn’t exist in mythological time, in the land of soul making.

What time is it in your heart? What calls you? Why not sit with those questions instead?  

***

Jen Louden is a personal growth pioneer who helped launch the self-care movement with her first book The Woman’s Comfort Book. She's the author of 5 additional books on well-being and whole living, including The Life Organizer, that have inspired more than a million women in 9 languages. Jen has spoken around the world on self-care, written a national magazine column, and even sat on Oprah's couch talking about the power of retreats.  She believes self-love + world-love = wholeness for all. 

Visit JenniferLouden.com for fab free goodies and an upcoming retreat schedule.

circle of kindreds (a guest post with shawn fink)

liz lamoreux

So excited to share the next Circle of Kindreds guest post.  I love what Shawn Fink is up to in her corner of the world and am delighted to be a contributor to her Abundant Mama ecourse. Read on...

Recently, I asked my readers -- all mothers -- to share with me who they are in the margins of motherhood.

The responses blew me away. They wrote things like: 

  • I'm a cook, sometimes a caterer, sometimes a borderline chef.
  • I'm an "I'd rather make it than buy it" rebel inspired by Pinterest.
  • I'm a color selection specialist for friends who are afraid to paint anything other than beige/ taupe/ creme.
  • I'm a counselor for friends when it feels like something is about to break. I'm an instigator."
  • I am a writer.  
  • I am a huge animal lover.
  • I am a former zookeeper.  And now I'm an aspiring vegan.  
  • I am a daydreamer and a dabbler - cooking and photography and even painting are fun to play around with.
  • I am also a musician.  I play flute but haven't in months because my toddler isn't a huge fan of it!  
  • I'm an appreciator of simple things.  I'm a woman who's pretty happy being my nerdy introvert self.

But, there were others who didn't respond with such enthusiasm.

Instead, they responded with statements like these:

I don't know who I am.

I've lost myself.

I am not sure about anything about myself anymore.

I don't have time to focus on myself or my dreams.

And, here's what I told them in response.

You haven't lost yourself.

You've just lost the ability to focus on yourself 100 percent like you used to be able to do before other things -- children, jobs, life -- became so demanding.

You've just grown up. You're not that little girl sitting on the wall dangling her feet daydreaming the day away anymore.

You're spinning. You're faced with worries. You're full of fear. You're caring about everyone else but yourself. In fact, at the end of the day, you can't think of more than one thing you did just for yourself.

If we're not careful, we'll lose our sparkle during all that care taking and worrying and fearing of making mistakes.

And, when we live in that "less than" state of mind, we're not happy, which means we're not at peace. And when we aren't feeling at peace with ourselves or our life, there's a very good chance our children aren't feeling at peace either.

I don't want that to happen to you.

The only way to get back to yourself -- or to find the new you -- is to start where you are right now.

That might be doing the dishes. Or scanning Facebook, again.

You might not have time for anything extra in the margins of motherhood just yet.

And that's OK.

But, if you really want that sparkle back, you have to work for it. You have to find the time. You have to carve out the space. You have to make YOU a top priority.

Time has to become your friend not your enemy. Use every single precious moment to your advantage to create a feeling of peace and being enough.

That's when you'll start to see the abundance in your life.

For now, though, please know that the real YOU is still inside that body that feels so overwhelmed with parenting and working and housekeeping.

Your dreams are alive and shining inside of you.

And your time will come, and it will probably be very soon.

*****

Shawn Fink is the author of The Playful Family and the Thinking Mama behind Awesomely Awake, a blog encouraging families to find their happy place. She is a peace and kindness spreader and offers various e-courses, including The Abundant Mama Project that guides mamas in creating their own daily gratitude practice.  You can follow Shawn on her Blog or find her on PinterestFacebook and Twitter

 

The Abundant Mama Project is a 5-week e-course experience that guides you through a self-discovery journey to figure out who you are now that you are a mother and what really is the most important things in your life. For five weeks, we take self-care time to do journaling prompts, real-life gratitude challenges and connect with a wonderful, supportive tribe of like-minded Mamas around the world who share the same stories of struggle, transformation and triumph. And now, you can also join the Abundant Mama Peace Circle, which extends the course in a weekly e-mail for the rest of 2013. 

Quick note from Liz: I'm an affiliate for Shawn's Abundant Mama ecourse and Peace Circle because I really think they are going to be fantastic and a beautiful opportunity to connect with other mamas. 

a gratitude invitation

liz lamoreux

Take a deep breath and answer this question.

Maybe go with the first things that pops into your mind.

Or sit down and make a list.

Or even do a little dance of gratitude for the beauty of being here in this moment, breathing, living.

Even if you are having "one of those" days (perhaps especially if you are), let yourself be filled with gratitude in this moment.

And I'd love it so much if you would share at least one thing you're grateful for in the comments.

It is okay if it is small (blue sky was the reason I took this photo)...and it is okay if it is simple (as I write this, I am really thankful for raisin toast and my friends)...and it is also okay if it is something huge. And if you dance, let us know what song is helping you get your gratitude groove on.

I'm so grateful to you for being here and sharing your stories. Yes.

Happy weekend,

Liz

PS And if you can't tap into gratitude right now (and honey, I have been there), trust that feeling this way is okay. You aren't alone in it. Think about what you most need and try to move from that place. And if you have three minutes, watch this pep talk from Kid President. I think he might have a superpower that helps move people to a place of joy, which is something to be really grateful for.

PPS To receive little reminders and love notes like this one in your inbox, sign up to receive my (almost) weekly newsletter here.

pinned it. did it. {with liz}

liz lamoreux

Ellie and I made banana bread this weekend, and I loved it so much I knew I had to come and tell you all about it and add my own "Pinned It. Did It." column this week. (Meg will be back with another one next week. Read past columns here.)

Ellie is a bit obsessed with making banana bread. At some point last spring, we made some from a mix and now she tells me about every three weeks, "I think it's time to make more banana bread." And we do. But often from a mix while changing things up (like using peanut oil or adding our own bananas etc).

But in my quest to do things a wee bit healthier around here and cook from scratch more, I went to Pinterest to find a recipe.

my "sweet things" pinboard 
(thinking I might want this from Pottery Barn as I do more Pinterest-inspired cooking)

But first I got very distracted by this. (Because wouldn't you?)

And then refocused on bread and found this recipe: Cinnamon Swirl Banana Bread

This one was also a contender: Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

But the idea of swirling cinnamon won out, so I went with that first one. We followed the recipe but I also added 1 cup of chocolate chips.

Here's a glimpse into our adventure. One thing I love about baking is that, overall, it is often "toddler helper" friendly.

Clearly sampling the chocolate chips is a very good idea.

We used the Kitchenaid Mixer with paddle attachment for this recipe, being careful not to overmix the flour and baking soda. I like the way it mashed the bananas so well. And Ellie liked turning it off and on. But the batter photos were not appetizing, so I skipped those for this cute blue bowl filled with cinnamon sugar photo below.

Ellie wanted to try little tiny tastes of everything. She wasn't too fond of the flour (as predicted) but the cinnamon and sugar was a hit. After we mixed everything together, we stirred in the chocolate chips, and then it was time for the cinnamon + sugar mixture. Ellie was able to easily stir them together and then add 1/2 of it on top of 1/2 the batter, which became the middle of the loaf, and then the other half on the top of all the batter.

Next time I make this bread, here is what I will do differently: I would put about three-fourths of the cinnamon + sugar mixture into the middle of the bread. We put in about 1/2 (as Ellie is doing above), but this meant that we put a lot on the top. And all of it didn't absorb (as you can see in the top photo of this post). So we had that "too much cinnamon sugar on your cinnamon toast effect," and when I flipped it out of the pan, it went everywhere. BUT it did make a crust that was so darn yummy. I would also add only 2/3 (or even 1/2) cup of chocolate chips next time.

And, I learned that the melted chocolate chips plus all that cinnamon goodness on the top and inside made it harder to tell when the bread was done using the toothpick method. So I used the impromptu "might as well put a whole knife tip in there and see if it comes out clean" method, which was surprisingly effective.

It was so good. Like the best. Like you should take it to every party where you need to bring something because oh my goodness it is easy and people are going to love it.

This bread will be heavy in rotation now whenever bananas are starting to "go bad." I'd like to explore adding some new kinds of flours (like oat flour), but that is a whole new adventure and I'm still finding my map for that one.

One thing I know for sure: Pinterest is helping me get excited about cooking more. And now that it is cooling off in the afternoons, I'm starting to actually cook instead of just pin ideas. So stay tuned for more stories from the kitchen.

*****

A quick note about Pinterest: Over here in my corner, I'm one of the top 50 pinners in the world (seriously) and I'm trying to "use Pinterest for good." I really see it as a community of people trying to see the beauty and possibility in their lives. I'm adding a few new features here on my blog inspired by or directly about Pinterest as a way to invite others to look for this beauty within a social media community. I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds. Connect with me on Pinterest here. Read other "Pinned it. Did it." columns here.

i want to remember

liz lamoreux

I want to remember:

The sound of your laughter as we ran toward the water together.

The way you danced, singing to yourself as you picked up sand and felt the texture between your fingers.

Your excitement when we both walked ankle deep into the water in our rain boots so we could "wait for the waves."

The feel of your hands taking mine each time you were convinced "a big one is coming this time Mama."

The neverending giggles when the water went all the way down into your boots and how you were delighted that your socks were soaked.

The moment when I remembered you've been off of your heart medication for a year now.

The way you would run to Daddy and Millie to update them on how big the waves were and how funny it was when that HUGE one even got my pants wet.

The gentle kindness you showed Millie as you shared the backseat during our long drive to and from the coast.

The way you chatted during our entire picnic that we ate tucked into the back of the car, watching the waves and feeding carrots to Millie.

The truth that even in the midst of the stuff that is hard, life really is this beautiful. 

keeping our hearts open

liz lamoreux

Variations on these words, "keeping our hearts open will heal us," have tapping on me this week. I can't stop thinking about how our hearts crack and mend, and how the mending comes when we let ourselves really live.

I've been thinking about this idea so much that I felt moved to make a little video and tell you a story about a poem I wrote about this idea and to share more about why I believe this is true.

The poem is from my poetry collection Five Days in April, which you can find in my shop.

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