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In this moment,
close your eyes,
take a deep breath.
Now another.
Then when you are ready,
open your eyes,
and say these words aloud:
I am Whole.
I am Worthy.
I am Loved.
Yes.
(You really can trust this truth. I believe it with my whole heart.)
xoxo,
Liz
PS To receive little reminders and love notes like this one in your inbox, sign up to receive my (almost) weekly newsletter here.
A couple of weeks ago, I asked you to share a few of your recommended books for summer reading in the comments of this post. What a list!! I've added almost all of them below and grouped them by general "categories." Hope you find a few you enjoy!
All That Is by James Salter
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini
Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins
The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
The Babylon Rite by Tom Knox
Beauty by Robin McKinley
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler
Child of the Morning by Pauline Grege
Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein
Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
The Cruelest Month: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel by Louise Penny
Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
Defending Jacob by William Landay
Delirium by Lauren Oliver
Divergent by Veronica Roth
A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness
The Drifters by James Michener
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
Fall on Your Knees by Anne Marie MacDonald
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver
For One More Day by Mitch Albom
The Garden of the Evening Mists by Tan Twan Eng
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Schaffer
Half a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Homemade Love by J. California Cooper
Hotel On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb
If I Stay by Gayle Forman
Inferno by Dan Brown
The Island by Victoria Hislop
J D Salinger Boxed Set by J D Salinger
The J M Barrie Ladies' Swimming Society by Barbara J. Zitwer
Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
Joy for Beginners by Erica Bauermeister
Kindred by Octavia Butler
Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey
The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle
Light Between Oceans by M L Stedman
The Lost Wife by Alyson Richman
The Magicians by Lev Grossman
Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear
The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
Moonlight and Vines by Charles De Lint
Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn
The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss
Nearer the Sky by T. Greenwood
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson
Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger
The Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
The Peculiar Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender
The Proper Order of Things by Tara Benwell
Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguo
The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party: The New No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Novel by Alexander McCall Smith
The Seamstress by Maria Dueñas
Secrets Over Sweet Tea by Denise Hildreth Jones
She Got Up Off the Couch and Other Heroic Acts from Moreland Indiana by Havel Kimmel
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
The Shoemaker's Wife by Adriana Trigiani
The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
Size 12 is Not Fat by Meg Cabot
Small Island by Andrea Levy
The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey
The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum
Unnatural Habits a Phryne Fisher Mystery by Kerry Greenwood
Where’d You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple
Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah
Written in Red by Anne Bishop
Anatomy of the Spirit by Caroline Myss
The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott
Magical Journey by Katrina Kenison
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne
The Toa of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Women Food and God by Geneen Roth
The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller
Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes by Shauna Niequist
Clean Food by Terry Walters
Grow Cook Eat: A Food Lover's Guide to Vegetable Gardening, Including 50 Recipes, Plus Harvesting and Storage Tips by Will Galloway
Many Lives Many Masters by Brian Weiss
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Mended by Angie Smith
Mosiac of Thought by Ellin Keene and Susan Zimmerman
A Sand County Almanac by Aldo Leopold
Saturday Night Widows by Becky Aikman
Use Your Words by Kate Hopper
Dancing with Max by Emily Colson
End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe
Fire Season by Philip Connors
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
The Grace of Silence by Michele Norris
Hannah's Gift by Maria Housden
Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Just Kids by Patti Smith
Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis
Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jennifer Lawson
The Potty Mouth at the Table by Laurie Notaro
Running with Scissors a Memoir by Augusten Burroughs
Satuday Night Widows by Becky Aikman
The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog by Jen Lancaster
This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart by Susannah Conway
Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? By Jeanette Winterson
Wild Comfort by Kathleen Dean Moore
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Coast Highway by Cheryl Strayed
Angelfall by Susan Ee
Beautiful Creatures Series by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl
Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein
The Edge of Nowhere by Elizabeth George
The Ender Quartet Box Set by Orson Scott Card
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
The FitzOsbornes in Exile: The Montmaray Journals by Michelle Cooper
The Heart is Not a Size by Beth Kephart
The Immortal Instrument by Cassandra Clare
The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini
The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
Looking for Alaska by John Green
Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Book One by Ann Brashares
Son by Lois Lowry
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
Norton Anthology of Poetry by Ferguson et al.
Writing Poetry from the Inside Out: finding your voice through the craft of poetry by Sandford Lyne
A little note from Liz: I'm excited to dive into a few of these books this summer, and I hope you will join me. Please note that I haven't read most of them and am in no way recommending each of them. Rather, this is a list of books from my blog readers and Pinterest followers that I hope will give you a variety of possible books to choose from. You can read more about the books if you follow the links to Amazon. Some people wrote a bit about why they recommended their books, and you can read that in the comments of the original post here. If the recommended book seemed to fall far outside the realm of "summer reading" or was out of print/difficult to find, I didn't include them, but I did try to add as many as I could. You can find all the recommendations in the original post.
A couple of weekends ago, we got outside to shake out the cobwebs and the grumps and to look at the world through the eyes of a three year old.
We explored a new park. Got our feet a little too wet. Found creatures we'd never seen before.
And then just when we thought we were heading home, Ellie led us on an unexpected hike through trails and over little bridges and we followed as she told us stories (and to "hurry up!") the entire time.
It was awesome.
Close your laptop. Put down the phone. Walk away from the iPad. Go outside. Take a deep breath. And then another one. And live.
You just might be able to feel your heart expand with all the goodness of connecting with the world outside your doors. (Even if you just walk to your front step and take five deep breaths.)
If you want to share your photos on Instagram/Twitter/FB, use the hashtag #gooutsidehomework and we will find you there.
(Extra points for taking photos + getting yourself in the photo + using your timer to get the people you take with you in the photo too. Seriously. Get in the photo honey. It is time.)
Another Pinned It. Did It. guest post with Meg! These happy glasses make me smile. Would love to have some friends over for an evening of snacks + summer drinks (from the recipes Meg shares below) + some DIY fun! Read on for Meg's column.
***
I pinned this DIY quite some time ago. It’s been in the back of my mind for months as a project I’d really like to try. So this weekend I stopped by the local dollar store and picked up some glasses to use and decided to give it a try. I used acrylic paints and an old paintbrush I had on hand. However after the fact, I discovered this paint that is specially designed for painting on glass and can be cured in the oven for a more permanent creation.
I’ve seen confetti glasses at places like Anthropologie and Crate & Barrel, and I am always drawn to the way they look like summer - the type of glass best for drinking iced tea or margaritas out of. Something that should be in-hand at a barbecue or on the back porch as the sun sets. June seemed like the perfect month to pull out the paints and give this project a whirl.
The DIY itself is quite simple. It really is as easy as dotting paint onto the side of a clean glass using a slightly heavier hand towards the bottom of the glass and lightening the touch as you work your way up. I started with the darkest blue first and worked my way towards lighter colors. From what I’ve read, it’s important to seal the glasses after completing the painting in order to help prolong it’s life. However, even with a sealing, they are delicate and should always be gently washed with warm water and a soft sponge.
As I was dotting paint on my glasses, I was thinking about what a fun gift this would make for a teacher at the end of the year or a new neighbor welcome gift or a wedding shower gift for a couple. It’s a great handmade gift, yet it is forgiving on a tight budget.
I added this pin to my “I Pinned It and Then Did It” board on Pinterest over the weekend and enjoyed looking back over all of the fun I’ve had since discovering Pinterest. What have you made from Pinterest lately? Tell us about it in the comments section or link to it for us to explore.
Meg Brothers is an artist, photographer, mama, and dreamer. She loves cooking, tattoos, and sporadic dance parties in the kitchen. She prefers dark chocolate, black coffee, and flip flops when weather permits. She is a lover of Pinterest and truly believes in integrating ideas and inspiration - big or small - into normal life. Meg lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband, Dustin and son, Julian. Meg writes about photography, family, and creative inspiration at megbrothers.com. Find her on Pinterest here and on Twitter here.
***
Note from Liz: Over here in my corner, I'm trying to "use Pinterest for good." I really see it as a community of people trying to see the beauty and possibility in their lives. I'm adding a few new features here on my blog inspired by or directly about Pinterest as a way to invite others to look for this beauty within a social media community. I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds. Connect with me on Pinterest here. Read other "Pinned it. Did it." columns here.
Over here, we've been playing with finding our shadow selves. Toward dinner time, the sun hits the front steps just right and really long, tall shadows appear.
It is awesome. Like "look at those shadow pigtails" awesome.
Ellie is super excited to look for her shadow whenever we are outside, and her physics teacher daddy is thrilled to talk to her about how and why shadows appear.
I just like to play with different poses and then try to capture them with my camera.
In my book Inner Excavation, we spend some time unearthing our shadows and finding our reflections in photography, poetry, and mixed-media self-portraits. Playing with our shadows can gently push us to notice where we are, it can ground us, and it can reveal pieces of ourselves that we've been ignoring or want to know more about.
Spend some time seeking your shadow self this week. Notice how it changes throughout the day depending on where the sun is. Maybe even write a poem about "what your shadow says."
*****
I'm truly over-the-moon delighted that artist and beautiful soul Effy Wild has put a call out to have others join her for a read along of Inner Excavation through the Inner Excavate-along. Last year, I led a group through a free seven-week read-along of my book, and the content has been available on my website ever since. Now you can join a group in going through it this summer!
The group is starting June 24 and you can find out all the details here. This would be a beautiful way to open yourself to creative connection this summer. Let me know if you join in! I'll be part of Effy's Facebook group and will be peeking in throughout the summer.
You can buy an autographed copy, complete with special note to you, in my shop here.
The Declaration of You, by Jessica Swift and Michelle Ward, will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer, with readers getting all the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique and uncover what they are meant to do! Today, I'm excited to share this post as part of The Declaration of You’s Blog Lovin’ Tour, which I’m participating in alongside over 100 other creative bloggers. Learn more – and join us! – by clicking here.
Over the last year, I’ve been looking at a few of my old stories from when I was younger. Specifically, I've been thinking about and writing about the ones that include phrases like:
As I look at these moments in my past, I’ve begun to see that being able to talk about the serious things, to be in touch with how deeply personal life is, and to even use drama for good are important pieces that have brought me to this place where each day I try to share the true stories so that others will know they are not alone. I'm working on seeing what I thought were "criticisms" at the time as the magic that makes me who I am.
Some days I even see them as my superhero powers that help me create safe space for women to show up as themselves and tell their stories.
So to celebrate The Declaration of You and this week's theme of "uniquity," here are just a few of the pieces of me that I want to honor today because they make up this magic that is me.
When I was in high school, I listened to Lenny Kravitz sing "Flower Child" on repeat, longing to be that girl "dressed in purple velvet with a flower in her hair" who "speaks of liberation on the land and on the sea" living on the West Coast and standing up for what I believed in. Even when I was wearing my boarding school uniform of plaid kilt and button down white Oxford, I wore layers of beaded necklaces that I made sitting cross-legged by the lake behind my dorm. And then in the summer when at home, I'd add a few more layers on my wrists and ankles.
Recently I unearthed these beads in my studio and decided to play with them again after an almost 20-year break. And as I listen to Lenny and Mumford & Sons and Paul Simon and string bead after bead, I'm spending a little time with my 17-year-old self and remembering her dreams and realizing that she would be very proud of me and where I am as I tell the true stories over here in my corner of the world.
The 1993 Collection is filled with the energy of summer and mixed tapes and afternoons full of hope and secret dreams and the belief that one girl just might make a difference in the world. As you wear your piece from the 1993 collection, I hope you will reconnect and listen to those secret dreams inside you.
One topic I want to talk about more when I circle with women this year is how we move through the world now that social media is part of our everyday lives. We are at the forefront of figuring this out with little to no trail behind us to help us navigate. I believe that we will find our way by having conversations about it all, while also sitting in the quiet and listening to what is best for each of us.
I've talked a little about this from the perspective of how we live an entire world outside of our Facebook statuses and I often bring up the truth that we never really know the full story when we see snippets of someone's day online. I also think we fill in the blanks with our own assumptions, which is something I tend to do when I am pretty depleted and not practicing self-care. I can go from cheering on a friend or colleague on Facebook one day to feeling jealous or "not enough" when seeing a similar status the next day.
Today, I want to tell the story of this photo of Ellie that I Instagrammed last Friday. It was taken in the middle of our messy family room during our Friday evening "movie night" while we had picnic on the pullout sofa. One of her new favorite things is looking through my poetry books and pretending to "read" them. She sometimes just turns the pages quickly, and other times she reads the letters out loud or makes up her own words.
When I put this photo up on Instagram, I wrote: She's been "reading" my books lately. Tonight it's Elizabeth Bishop's poetry. "I'm reading Poet Trees Mama!!!" And she's pointing out the question marks and tiddles. #notkidding #tiddleisthedotabovethei
After I posted it, I had a tiny nagging feeling that it might read like I was boasting about my brilliant daughter.
But if you jumped to that assumption, you would be missing a lot of pieces of our story: Ellie Jane didn't start saying any words until she started pre-school last fall. She was 2 years and 4 months old when she started using about 15-20 words to communicate.
Everywhere you go as a new parent, they tell you "Two year olds should have 50 words when they turn two or you should be worried." When she said about two words at almost two (and we felt like we had evidence of her regressing since she seemed to have more words at 18 months), I took her to a speech therapist. She didn't think anything was "wrong" but was concerned about Ellie not having any words based on how clearly she seemed to understand. When I played the "speech therapy homework" games with Ellie, she would look at me like, "Have you lost your mind? This is bizarre. Talk to me like you usually do please." Or she would start laughing. I'm not kidding.
So I just went with my intuition and we didn't return for a third visit to the therapist and I stopped doing the games. Most days last summer were about trying not to get as frustrated as she was. And then she went to school and we quickly went from single words to three words together to full stories in just a few weeks.
But there were several months there when she didn't say anything and we couldn't help but wonder if we were finally seeing the potential long-term effects of her heart problems.
And each day I stand in the gratitude that this doesn't seem to be the case.
But here is the piece I really want you to hear today: Over the last three years, I've seldom shared Ellie's newest milestone, especially in short snippets on social media, because I've thought about all the moms out there who would give anything for their child to talk or run or clearly express emotions.
Because I was that mom for the first two years of Ellie's life. Willing her to gain weight. Hoping I was making the right choices. Feeding her things like chicken nuggets and milk shakes and not wanting you to know because I didn't want to be judged. Trying not to burst into tears each time another mom posted a photo of her baby's adorably kissable chunky thighs that Ellie would never have because she was always at less than 5% for weight because of her heart problems. (If you are new to this space, it is helpful to know that our daughter had open-heart surgery at four months old and was on medication for a separate heart issue for the first two years of her life.)
I didn't want to invite other moms to feel like I did in those moments when I wished we could just have a "normal" experience.
And along the way this spilled over into other areas of my life. I don't often share the celebrations about my business because I worry about the jealousy that can seem to be really present sometimes in our creative community. Or I worry that someone will begin to assume we are somehow rolling in money over here because one of my retreats sells out, when that person has no idea of what our financial situation is because those details are too personal for a blog or Facebook status.
I've even noticed myself not wanting to share the details of a really happy moment because I'm trying to be responsible for other people's feelings instead of letting them take care of themselves. I tend to share these moments like this Facebook status from a few weeks ago: This update could just say: homemade pizza in the oven, folk music in the air, Ellie and Jonny chatting and playing at the table. But those words would not convey how darn hard it is to be a parent and partner sometimes. Trying to just really notice when the beauty sneaks in amidst the everyday chaos.
It is important to note that I haven't felt like I've been stifling my stories. I share stories here and on Instagram every day. But, these pieces are still a part of my journey with social media and I think it is helpful to know that someone like me who shares a lot each day feels this way too.
And it isn't as though I think we shouldn't share the celebrations. Do I want mamas of healthy babies not to post their happy photos? NO! I want to see those happy chubby babies in my Instagram feed. Do I mean that I don't want my friends to celebrate their businesses and lives. NO! I am actually saying the opposite here.
But I think we need to have conversations about how to navigate all of this.
As I think about my experiences with social media during the last few years, and even the last few months, I've come to these three beliefs that I'm continually looking at:
1) We have to be able to find our way in telling the truths of our own stories (from the big truths to the every day little stories) while being mindful of others who will be reading them in the middle of their day. Pausing before posting and just thinking about it all feels like one way to navigate this "instant sharing" many of us do daily. Maybe beginning to to integrate more kindness, toward ourselves and others, before we click "share" is a place to begin.
2) We need to begin to notice if we are actually experiencing the beauty of our lives while documenting it. Taking time to notice if I'm sharing details more than experiencing my life gives me clues about how I'm using social media. Can I really be experiencing a gorgeous day with friends if I'm spending half the time letting my Instagram buddies know every detail? Am I listening to my child tell a story if I'm interupting to say, "Wait, I just really want everyone to see how cute you look right now?" Only I know the answer to these and similar questions.
3) And then I think we have to be responsible for the way we navigate other people's stories. Maybe this means checking in more to see if this is really the right moment to check Facebook. Maybe this means going outside and taking five deep breaths when you notice yourself doing the "Check email. Check Facebook. Check Twitter. Check Pinterest. Check Instagram. Check other email. Repeat." dance on your phone. Maybe this means putting up a sticky note next to your laptop that says, "We all have a story." Or "Are you in the right space to respond to this?" Or simply "Check yourself." We talk about how teenagers are wasting time on social media or hurting one another and themselves, when we are doing this too...perhaps in different ways, but it is there.
These are the conversations I want to have and I hope you will join me. Let's come from a place of truth and love and an openness to understanding as we find our way together. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts just as I hope you will be open to mine.
Thanks for reading and being out there sharing your stories and walking beside me.
Blessings,
Liz
