a water your toddler mama soul FAQ

Water Your Toddler Mama Soul begins next Wednesday, and today I want to share a quick FAQ:

What does "deep dive into self-care" mean?

I have to admit that I've been worried this phrase might be overwhelming to some. To me, a deep dive is a commitment to practicing something with your whole heart. So for these 10 days, my hope is that the mamas coming along will bring their hearts open to practicing self-care each day to see what it really feels like. However, the practices won't be intense. Quite the opposite really. They will be accessible and will take about 10-20 minutes each day (longer if you want them to). We will be taking photos and writing and getting outside to just breathe. And we will be supporting each other along the way. Also, I will be available by email and in the Facebook group for questions and support.

Why 10 days?

As a toddler mama, I know what it feels like to not have time for myself. But this is what I know: When I don’t take time for myself I’m not able to be really present for my life, for the everyday, for the beauty and the hard stuff. And I want to be present for all of it. 

And every time I’ve taken an ecourse since my daughter was born, I’ve never ever finished. Not once. And I like ecourses a lot. I like the community and the emails of wisdom in my inbox and the practices shared...all of it. But I seldom work through 4, 5, or 8 weeks of content.

Water Your Toddler Mama Soul gives you immediate accessible practices to reconnect with yourself in the midst of all that a day with a toddler or two or three brings. It gets right to it and gently pushes you to take care of yourself starting right now.

These are the practices I use each day, and when the class ends, you will be able to begin again, use the prompts that most resonated, and turn to the emails as often as you need to as a reminder that you are not alone. 

Do I have to be creative?

This isn't a class about being a creative mama or being creative with your kids. I do use the phrase "creative self-care" because many of the tools I use (photography, writing, and even meditation) fall under that category. There will be daily photography prompts that will be used as a tool to see your world and yourself. I can imagine that we will share ideas for ways to be creative with our toddlers in the Facebook group and look forward to those conversations.

Is this a class about parenting or about advice for parenting a toddler?

Nope. This class is about self-care for mamas. In the Facebook group, there could be threads started about parenting where someone asks for some tips, but that is not a focus of this class or of the Facebook group.

Can you define toddler mama? What if I’m not a toddler mama but this class speaks to my mama soul?

If you think you are a toddler mama, then you probably are! This class will focus on toddler moms and what they experience having a child between 1ish-4ish. I’ve heard someone call the newborn year “the longest shortest time.” This class will explore accessible self-care practices to support toddler mamas getting through that next stage that I think feels like a true continuation of that longest shortest time but with walking + talking + unexpectedness each day and so on. 

If your child is younger than 1 or older than 4 and this class speaks to you, send me an email and we can chat about it.

Tell me more about the Facebook group.

One of the reasons I want to create this class with a Facebook group that carries on after the class ends is because I think toddler mamas need a safe space to go where they can share how intense and gorgeous and crazy and beautiful the day to day is, and they will be held by a group of women who nod and get it and say, “me too, me too” because they are right there in it each day as well.

I deeply appreciate the perspective of moms of older children and turn to them for support. But sometimes these moms say things like, “Hold on to every moment.” and “Don’t wish this time away.” When what we really need to hear are other toddler mamas saying, “I hear this. This part of being a mom is hard for me too. You aren’t alone. I know you love your child, but of course this is intense. You are okay.” and so many other things that I believe only another toddler mama can feel in her body in this moment simply because she is in it too.

This first group of Water Your Toddler Mama Soul participants will help me to shape this Facebook group, and I can’t wait to dive in together.  

If you have any questions, please just send them over. 

Learn more and register here.

pinned it. did it. {with meg}

 

Another Pinned It. Did It. guest post with Meg! Looking forward to making these for Ellie and Jon, and I think they will be perfect for the backyard summer picnics I'm dreaming about on a daily basis over here. Read on for Meg's column.

***

I think this is one of my favorite meals that I’ve made to-date via Pinterest. We happen to be a household with food sensitivities and often times, with that, comes elaborate recipes or ingredient lists. What I love about this recipe is that it would be easy to adapt to how you’d like it or need it. But I’m serious when I say that the way it’s written is quite delicious.

I have a son who will be 2 years old next month. He is a fantastic eater, which I am so thankful for. But he is still a toddler when it comes to wanting to feed himself or pick out his own snacks. When this was a hit with him, my husband, and a home run for me, it became one we make on a regular basis.

The ingredient list is manageable and I love a meal that I can put together and have cleaned up before it’s ready to eat. They also freeze well so it’s nice to have them in the freezer on occasion. 

I've served them with frozen corn warmed on the stove with green chiles and smoked paprika as well as frozen green beans sauteed with olive oil, lime juice, and garlic. Very simple side dishes but tasty and along the Tex Mex lines.  

Additional Side Dish Serving Suggestions: 

• Avocado and Romain Salad 
• Black Bean And Corn Salad 
• Summer Salad and Corn Chips 
• Grilled Coconut-Glazed Corn 

In the comments: Do you have a favorite meatball recipe you like? Tell us about it or link to it in the comments to share! 

Meg Brothers is an artist, photographer, mama, and dreamer. She loves cooking, tattoos, and sporadic dance parties in the kitchen. She prefers dark chocolate, black coffee, and flip flops when weather permits. She is a lover of Pinterest and truly believes in integrating ideas and inspiration - big or small - into normal life. Meg lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband, Dustin and son, Julian. Meg writes about photography, family, and creative inspiration at megbrothers.com. Find her on Pinterest here and on Twitter here. 

***

Note from Liz: Over here in my corner, I'm trying to "use Pinterest for good." I really see it as a community of people trying to see the beauty and possibility in their lives. I'm adding a few new features here on my blog inspired by or directly about Pinterest as a way to invite others to look for this beauty within a social media community. I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds. Connect with me on Pinterest here. Read other Pinned it. Did it. columns here.

creative fun with my (almost) three year old

 

Ellie and I have been diving into the world of crafty fun lately.

And before I tell you all about it, I want to confess something: Sometimes I really struggle with activities to do with her. She’s our only child, I haven’t been around a lot of other kids, and I’m not so much into reading parenting books (mostly because they didn't apply to us for the first two years because of her heart surgery and our experiences). So I don't have a list of "things an almost three year old should be doing each day" that I turn to when we are embarking on a day together.

That said, I’m continually being reminded by Ellie that trusting my intuition and listening to her is the best way to know what to do next. I share this to gently remind you I'm not an expert, but I do enjoy sharing what works for us because I know I'm not the only mom out there like me. 

Right now, Ellie is really interested in what I’m up to in my studio and says things like, “I want to make necklaces” and “Can we work in my art journal now?” and “I want to paint today!” Her curiosity gives us a lot to do in a day. And I'm able to really listen and follow her lead when I'm also taking care of my needs (translation: not skipping breakfast, not worrying about emails that need to be answered, letting go of the to-do list as much as possible, and so on).

Because I always appreciate lists of ideas from other parents, I thought I would share a few of the creative things we are really enjoying together.

1) Making necklaces: We made necklaces with big wooden beads for her grandmothers for Mother’s Day. And Ellie loved it! She was very clear on who would get what colors, and she had fun sorting the beads into colors and sizes. We used these wooden beads, string, and sorted them into something like this (which is what I use for my beads in my studio). She was very excited to be making necklaces like Mama. And my heart more than melted when she said, "We have to make one for you now Mama" after we finished the Mother's Day gifts. I'm wearing it almost daily around here.

2) Stickers: For several months, playing with stickers was all about piling them on top of each other. Just a big pile of stickers. But lately, she’s started getting into decorating her coloring pages. We have this reusable sticker book and it really helped her see that if she piles them, she doesn’t get to see them all (plus we can easily unpile them and they don't rip). I’ve also started having her help me use letter stickers to form words for labeling her toy storage and even for Project Life stuff.  

3) Painting: She’s been using watercolors for about a year, but she is just now really getting into how she can use the water in different ways to affect the way the colors look. We LOVE this easel from Ikea.

I want to get some tempura paint for her to use, and I realize most people probably don’t start their kids off with watercolors, but it’s working for us (as evidenced by the video above about our painting collaboration). 

4) Art journaling: She has a few different notebooks/journals that she plays in. When I called one of my Smash journals an art journal, she immediately began to call all her notebooks art journals too. I LOVE this!! We use: 

• One big inexpensive sketchbook full of thick paper for coloring, painting, and stickers. It is so fun to look through because Jon, Bonnie (our babysitter), and I have all played in it with Ellie, and I love how it gives such a snapshot of the last 10 months or so. There are notes from each of us next to Ellie’s drawings, “This is Millie,” “This painting is for Grandma Fina,” and so on. 
• A few little Moleskines that I can easily throw in my purse to give her something to color in when we are out and about (they are awesome on the plane and at restaurants).
• A Smash journal (I shared more about how we are using it in a guest post over at Alisa's blog).

5) Playing with the Instax mini: Last month, I started a new project where every now and then I bring the Instax mini with us on our adventures to the park and have Ellie take a few photos. She really loves to use it, and it becomes a bit of a lesson in detachment for me as I try not to control the moment and just let her play.  

As I've mentioned, I’m learning that explaining beforehand is a very good thing for her personality. So during the drive to the park, we talk about how we are going to take some photos and I remind her that she is borrowing my camera (we've been talking a lot of borrowing and sharing these days because there is a bit of "this is mine!" going on). We talk about how excited we are to watch the photos develop etc. Then as we walk, we talk about what we might want to take photos of. This way she is less likely to just grab the camera from me and yell at me as I say things like, “BUT wait! Let’s talk....hold on...okay there went two photos of the ground...” 

Going in, I have to just know that we are going to waste some film. But this feels okay to me because we are also going to get at least one awesome photo that she is going to feel excited about (though truth be told, she's excited about all of them). Last month, she took one of my favorite photos ever of my mom when she was visiting.

I'm thinking about using a Project Life mini album to document our Instax project and will share more as we find our way with this project. And one idea: If you are taking a few people on an Instax adventure, I suggest bringing a Sharpie along so you can quickly put initials on the back so everyone knows whose photo is whose.

Over on Pinterest, I have a board called "Creative Fun with EJ" where I'm collecting ideas, especially for things to do this summer when all three of us are home for several weeks together. 

In the Comments 

I’d love to hear about the crafty fun you are having with or without kids in your corner of the world. What’s on your studio (or kitchen) table? What do you hope to create this summer? How are you having creative fun with your kids?

***

If you are a toddler mama who needs some gentle reminders about ways to practice self-care in the midst of all that is being present for a toddler (or two or three), come along this June for a 10-day journey with other toddler mamas.

There will be daily photography prompts, writing + self-care prompts, stories from my own experiences in the toddler mama trenches, plus we'll be gathering in a private Facebook community that will continue after the course. 

Register and learn more here. We begin June 5.

And please pass this course along if you know a toddler mama who might want to join us. Thank you.

over here

we found a new to us park

and looked out on Puget Sound while she slept

we created our own board game (love Kiwi Crate!)

I've been playing with beads I've had since high school 

my new iphone cases arrived. with my own images + words. love them.

there has been a lot of coloring + fruit consumption

and adventuring wearing her new favorite hat from Grandma Fina

also four months of Project Life catch up has begun (post to come soon. OH and I love the "a beautiful mess" app. big.)

and we are finding time to notice us

A note from earlier today: I'm sitting in the family room, favorite purple afghan tucked around me, listening to Jon and Ellie chatter away as they play at the kitchen table. There is folk music on in the background, and I'm soaking up the simplicity of it all as the rain falls and I wonder what the day will hold. 

Sometimes you have to pause and really sink into the simple moments and how they make your heart feel. in this moment, I felt truly happy.

This isn't about pretending to have a perfect life. Or not standing in the thick of the tough stuff.

This is about gently pushing yourself to pay attention in the in-between spaces to find the joy, the beauty, the realness.

And for me, it's a lot about choosing love again and again.

summer reading

This summer, one of my goals is to read more. Like a lot more. On quilts in the backyard. With glasses of pink lemonade and happy straws. And I want to read more books for pleasure along with a few books that fall under my "I'll use this for teaching and other business things" category too.

And then I thought of you and how you might be longing to read some new things too (both for pleasure and for "education") and thought it might be fun to compile a HUGE list of books we'd recommend to others for summer reading.

how to play along

In the comments: Share a book or two that you really recommend. Meaning you loved it! Meaning you would tell your best friend to ger her hands on it right now! Meaning you couldn't put it down and carried it around for days (or didn't move until you finished it).

Then in early June, I'll create a blog post with a big long reference list of recommended summer reading that we can all turn to again and again this summer (even on our phones when we are browsing the library or in the bookstore). Can't wait!

Updated: I'm so excited about all the suggestions already!!!! When you leave a comment, it would be great if you would include the author and maybe even the general genre of you book, so the big list can include those details. For example, teen lit, sci-fi, self-help, poetry, and so on. Thank you!

a letter to former Indiana Governor Joe Kernan

Dear Governor Kernan,

This month marks 15 years since I graduated from the University of Notre Dame and sat about 20 rows up from where you gave the commencement address.

I have to admit that I don’t remember everything that was said that day. I do remember feeling fiercely proud that you were giving the speech because your name was always spoken with admiration in my South Bend, Indiana home. I remember that you made me laugh and cry on a day when I felt overwhelmed. I remember that your speech was about kindness. 

And I remember this one short sentence: Let people get off the elevator before you get on. 

I know it was far from the point of your speech, but I’ve thought about that line almost every single time I’ve gotten on an elevator since that day in May 1998. 

Since moving across the country almost 10 years ago, I haven’t been in elevators much. I work from home and seldom visit the tall buildings in Seattle. However, since my daughter Ellie Jane’s birth, most of the places I’ve encountered elevators have been hospitals and doctor’s offices.

When she was a few weeks old, Ellie Jane almost died of heart arrhythmia issues. And then at four months old, she had open-heart surgery at Seattle Children’s Hospital.

I was in and out of a lot of elevators during those months, moving from waiting rooms to appointments, to cafeterias, to the corner of the hospital reserved for parents to take showers while their children sleep in rooms above them.

Some of those days found me in a thick fog of fear and hope. 

But in the moments when I would wait for someone else to get off of the elevator before I got on, I found myself grounded in this simple act of common courtesy. Kindness would cut through the fog and remind me that I was not alone. The other person often acknowledged me with a “Thanks” or even “Have a good day.” And more than likely that other person was in her own fog of fear and hope. We were seeing one another with kindness in the midst of the unthinkable experiences families have in children’s hospitals.

Today, I’m thinking about how we never really know what other people are experiencing when we pass by them in the everyday moments of getting on and off an elevator to paying for gas to picking our kids up from school to standing in line at the grocery store. For any one of us, a relationship is ending, a daughter is about to have a baby, a new job has been offered, someone has just been diagnosed with cancer. We could extend kindness in these moments if we would pay attention, look up, and even just smile at one another.

So today, I really want to tell you this: In the midst of all the graduation speeches that are given this time of year telling young people that they should get out there and live their dreams and change the world, I deeply appreciate you reminding me that one of the most important ways we change the world is when we look one another in the eye with kindness.

I’m happy to share that little Ellie Jane will be three in a couple of weeks and is doing great! The surgery was a success and she’s been off her daily medication for almost a year now. And before long, when we go on our adventures and need to go in an elevator, she’s going to be telling everyone around us that we need to wait for everyone else to get off before we get on. 

Warmly,

Liz Morgan Lamoreux
University of Notre Dame
Class of 1998

***

While I seek out ways to get this letter to former Governor Kernan, I felt moved to share it here with you, especially because I hope you will take a few minutes and read his full speech that I was able to find here. 

so much beauty

(now available as a print, iphone cover, etc. on Society6)

Your weekend homework: Get outside and find 10 beautiful things. Capture them with your camera or with pen and paper. Breathe them in. Listen to what they have to teach you. Come back here and tell me all about it.

Happy weekend,

Liz

what is real (in toddlerland)

A glimpse into the real around here:

Yesterday, Ellie and I had a moment when I told her “no” about something she wanted to do instead of taking a bath and getting ready for bed. And, her response was to start hitting my laptop. 

I had my external hard drive attached to it (the one full of photos from the last year that I really don’t have another backup of), and she was pushing the laptop so that it almost fell. The hard drive disconnected. I raised my voice, insisting that she stop.

She yelled back, “Don’t yell at me Mama.”

I pulled a tiny bit of end-of-the-day patience from somewhere in my big toe and lowered my voice but spoke in a very firm tone asking her to please sit down in her chair, which was right behind her. 

She just kept yelling, “No. I won’t!”

After a few back and forths, Jon came in and tried to get her to sit in her chair too.

“No. I WON’T”

Here’s the thing: We don’t really "make her" sit in a chair in a time out (or “time in” as I like to call them) for lots of reasons and one is because moments like this usually pass quickly. Sometimes there are a lot of them in a day, but she doesn’t usually spend a lot of time in just one of these moments. She shifts to something else, then maybe back again to being crabby, and then back to joy. 

And I want her to feel her feelings - in her body, in her mind, in her heart. And notice what they feel like because being two is really about practicing in this safe place called home.

And I’ve found that it usually works to just let her yell for a minute. Then she will take a deep breath, and that will be my cue to say, “Do you need a hug?” And she will say, “Yes.” (Or more likely, “NO!...Yes, Mama, I need a hug.”)

But in this moment, I wasn’t listening to the voice inside me telling me this was the usual end of the day tired crabbies, and I wanted her to listen to me.

It was all about me. My laptop. My photos. My surprise that she was acting this way. My insistence that she sit in her chair.

I was calm about it with my voice. But my mind was all over the place, determined that she was going to sit in that chair because sometimes it feels like a tiny adorable dictator runs the show around here and what kind of parent am I becoming if I let her and what would have happened if I’d just lost what I was working on and if the pictures of her were gone and I was that person who lost the photos of her kid...

Oh the mind chatter that comes up around “What kind of parent am I????”

It had been maybe three minutes of this. Me saying, “Sit in your chair.” Her replying, “No. I WON’T!” Jon walked down the hall to start her bath, and she ran the few steps to the hallway and flailed her body onto the floor. 

“I need SPACE!” she said as she put her head against the carpet in child’s pose.

Seconds later, “I NEED my taggy blanket.”

Seconds later, “I need a hug MAMA!”

This series of words pierced through my mind chatter. 

I grabbed her taggy blanket, walked the few steps to where she was taking deep breaths with her head on the carpet, and as she turned to hold her arms up to me, I thought, “What kind of parent am I? The kind who is teaching her kid how to ask for what she needs. Wow.”

Most of the time I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. What works one day with Ellie, doesn’t the next. I wonder if I’m too permissive. I wonder if I sometimes take the path of least resistance and how that might be hurting her, us. I feel the guilt each day when I notice my patience slipping during those moments before bed time. I have some real pride wrapped around how patient I am with her, but when it begins to slip, I feel guilt paired with deep exhaustion.

Feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing but somehow trusting that you do, this is being a toddler mama. This is listening to your intuition. This is messing up and learning and messing up again. This is being present to all of it. This is letting your child teach you too.

Later, when Jon was reading to her and I had a moment to myself, I closed my eyes and said these words softly to myself:

Okay honey, you really are doing something good here. She asked for space. She asked for love. These are things you want and need too. These are things you’re trying to teach yourself, teach others to do. This is being a good mama. Yes. You got this.

An invitation: Even if you aren't a parent, you probably have moments where you feel like you don't know what you're doing. I believe that this is what being an adult feels like sometimes. We think it won't be this way, and then it is, and we wonder why. In this moment, spend a few minutes thinking about what "you've got" today. How are you surprising yourself with your grace, wisdom, and truth? How are you trusting all of it today?

*****

Water Your Mama Soul is a 10 day course where you explore ways to be right here in this moment and find the space to choose love...for yourself...for those around you...for this life you're choosing to live each day. You'll take photos and journal a bit and notice what you need each day. You'll reconnect with yourself. You'll give yourself the gift of remembering you.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Register right here.