yes. this.

evening backyard shenanigans

Tonight a little voice from down the hall called out "Mama."

Mama.

For months, she's been saying mama in the name everyone in our family and point to them sort of way. But tonight was the first time she said it without being prompted. Said it while by herself. Said it in the way I have explained so many times, "When you need help, you can just say Help or Mama and I will be right there." 

Her words are tumbling out these days. I know you said they would. She's understood so much for so long that it just didn't seem to make sense that the words weren't there. But of course they were. She is just saying things in her time. As she should.

But as the words kept coming, a little part of my heart kept wondering when she would say that one word in that way that means, "Hey, you who loves me. I need you."

Tonight she did.

Yes.

a conversation with jennifer louden

Today, I am delighted to share a conversation I recently had with kindred spirit Jennifer Louden. A few highlights: We muse on the question "why retreat," Jen shares about her first book tour when she drove around the country with copies of her bestselling book The Woman's Comfort Book in the trunk of her car, I admit to needing to remember to practice self-care at my own retreats, and Jen talks about why her course TeachNow (taught with Michele Lisenbury Christensen) is called TeachNow.

I've been a fan for a long time (from Jen's Comfort Queen years!) and am honored to have her visit my corner of the world today. Enjoy!

A little about Jen: Jen Louden is a personal growth pioneer who helped launch the self-care movement with her first book The Woman’s Comfort Book. She co-created, with Fortune 100 executive trainer Michele Lisenbury Christensen, the popular course TeachNow for people who need more confidence, more income, and more power in their teaching – no matter the subject. On September 19th you can try TeachNow for free with the call Jen mentions in the video. Find out more about the call and TeachNow over here.

here

new print from Kelly Barton up on my wall
available as a free download at chickadee road

over here it's tea + toast + quilts + more episodes of doc martin than i will ever admit as my body gives me a message of "rest is the only way baby girl" in the form of a cold.

and as i've been resting in the quiet, i keep coming up with more things i want to tell you...

i might be a bit behind the crowd, but i have been totally bewitched by downton abbey. not since colin firth brooded through pride and prejudice have i been this in love with a story. oh my goodness. and the trailer for season 3? yes. please. 

viv's "behind the photo" series is so so good. this post about choosing to see beauty is a must read. yes.

we've started going to the library and although EJ hasn't quite gotten the hang of the picking out the books to take them home part, we are having fun. a current favorite is Yes by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. i look forward to having a surprise "Yes Day" with Ellie.

the posts over at roots of she are filling me up. this one by darrah and this one by jen had me wanting to just hug each of them tight. (darrah's post even caused me to create a pinboard of posts and articles that will help me remember i'm not alone on those tough mama days)

between stacy's conscious queen's manifesta (and the way the words came to her) and hannah's post about "My Superpower is You," I am deeply inspired to put pen to paper and write pieces of my story that I've been holding close. Yes.

i've been a fan of rachel awes for a while now, and these simple words about love are beautiful. 

and hanging out in bed has meant a bit of window shopping and finding fun things like this cowl, these bowls, oh and these bowls, this house, this ring, and this mobile.

***

 

Now that I am settling into my new studio and some organization, I am taking custom orders again over at my Etsy shop. You can see the lockets, bracelets, and other customizable options here.

i want to remember

where i stand

Today is Ellie's sixth day of daycare, and the first day where I've pulled up to our house with the backseat quiet and felt a deep tug of missing her. Not that I haven't missed her while she has been there the other days. But this time alone in my studio, in my home, has given me space I haven't had in more than two years. The space I create for other women, but haven't myself had for long stretches of time: space to just be me.

It feels as though fractured pieces of me are reaching out to one another and pulling me back together.

And this is good. And part of the beauty and truth of being open to noticing.

As I was sinking into my day today, I was thinking about how I am about five weeks behind with Project Life. Summer was so full and the awesome chaos of it didn't leave time for it. And I don't want to spend time worrying about catching up and then not capturing this transition of this new schedule and way of living for our family.

That tug of missing was inviting in the overwhelm.

But then I went to Ali's blog today and she gave me a place to begin with the wonderful prompt: I want to remember.

this morning as we left for school

I want to remember the way Ellie carries her lunchbox each day as she walks out the door, but then she turns around to hand it to me before she walks down the steps because it is "too heavy."

I want to remember our morning routine: Jon gets up and gets ready for work. Then he wakes me up, and he goes to the kitchen to make breakfast. I get dressed and most mornings I hear Ellie begin to stir in her room. When I go in to get her, we stretch and then talk about the day's plan as we choose her clothes. Then we eat breakfast with Jon. Then he leaves for work; we brush our teeth; and then we get her lunchbox and head out the door to go and see her new friends. 

I want to remember the exquisite silence of being alone.

I want to remember that sitting at the table for dinner invites in another layer of intimacy and connection.

I want to remember watching Ellie on the slide over and over again when she didn't realize I was at school to pick her up.

I want to remember hearing Ms. A say to Ellie, "Eleanor Jane, you crack me up, you know that?" and Ellie saying so loudly, "Yeah!"

I want to remember how she held on to me after a rough day and found comfort in the quiet space between us.

I want to remember the look on her face when her daddy gets home.

I want to remember that Millie and I hang out in the studio together all day and I often get to listen to her soft snores.

I want to remember the pure joy I felt playing with fabric and thread and paper again.

I want to remember the way Ellie walks up to her friends to tell them "ba-bye."

I want to remember how she bravely gets down from my arms each day and walks to Ms. A even though she doesn't want me to go.

I want to remember the brave way I get in the car each day and trust that her healing heart will guide her.

choose love

*****

For more little reminders and love notes like this one, sign up for my weekly newsletter (where I also share stories of my real, true adventures in self-care and living with my heart open).

the space between

At the beginning of each month, Kelly and I are sharing our own brief responses to the month's theme over at Chickadee Road. My response to September's theme, "This sacred life," talked about how I find the sacred in the space between each breath.

When I close my eyes and find my breath, I try to notice how my body feels when I inhale and exhale, and then I see if I can find the spaces, the pauses, that also rest inside each breath.

What does it mean to find the breath? I mean bringing an awareness to your breathing. Noticing: How your body moves with each breath cycle. How your chest opens and your spine lengthens as you inhale. How your body settles into itself again as your exhale.

Try it.

Close your eyes and let your mind find your breath. Now let your body feel your breathing. Notice how your body moves. Notice your mind. Find the rhythm of your breath cycles.

Then after 5-10 breath cycles, see if you can find that pause between each inhale and exhale.

And just notice...

What do you find there?

Inside this space, this pause, this observed stillness, I am able to listen even closer for the wisdom that I most need.

Today, while in the bathroom (where so often wisdom and ideas present themselves for some reason...probably because every now and then I find myself alone in there), I found the name of a new Etsy shop I'm going to open. It was waiting for me at the end of an exhale. Just waiting. And when I heard it, I inhaled and smiled and immediately grabbed a marker and wrote it on the mirror.

Last week when I was sitting in my new studio, I took a few deep breaths just being really present to the possibility that seems to rest in every corner right now, and in the space between I found a new layer of understanding when it comes to a relationship in my life.

Perhaps there is magic in that space, that pause, that stillness. Perhaps it is grace. Perhaps it is trust. Maybe it is all of these and more. But I think the sacred waiting there seldom appears out of thin air. It might feel like it does. But I believe that we have to be open to seeking that space. We have to be active participants. We have to look for it. We have to practice finding it and bringing intentional awareness to it. 

When people say that you should listen to your wisdom or you read a quote on Pinterest about listening to your heart and you think, I have no idea how to do that or I have no energy for that today...when this happens, come back to your breath. Come back to noticing the inhalations and exhalations. Come back to the presence found in that space. 

And begin to listen.

Just start right here.

***

If you want to continue to have conversations about this type of exercise and how it relates to living a creative life, I invite you to join Kelly and me for the Chickadee Road::Studio Sessions. As part of our curriculum, each week I will be sharing a story that illustrates the ways meditation and yoga have become part of my creative practice. 

Come join the beautiful circle of women already gathering for this inaugural session. Find out more and register here.

May your day be full of light and peace...

unpacking the stories (as i unpack the studio)

One side effect of unpacking into my new studio space has been uncovering a few stories along the way. I expected some of this - pieces of past ArtFests, sewing projects I'd begun but not finished, reciepts I had tucked in odd places, and so on. But there have been a few unexpcted stories that have found there way in, and today, I want to share about one of them in this video.

I hope it is a reminder to you (to me) that we must continue to create space for big and small griefs and that forgiving ourselves in one of our most important practices because it helps to make even more space for joy, beauty, and being present to all that is this moment and the next.

May your day be full of lightness...

chickadee road :: studio sessions

This fall over at Chickadee Road, Kelly and I want to explore a new kind of online gathering: The Chickadee Road :: Studio Sessions. For now, Chickadee Road is a virtual space, but we dream of a magical place tucked into the woods right by the sea where we could gather with you.

The Studio Sessions are four-week online gatherings inspired by the idea that we would love to open our studios up to other creative souls who want to spend four weeks cultivating their creative practice.

What does cultivating a creative practice mean?

Many of us dream of having a week or two or even a whole month where we could travel to a beautiful corner of the world and spend that time creating a new body of work or writing a memoir or actually using the mixed media techniques we’ve learned in the workshops we’ve taken. And then, we’d love to circle in community with other creatives who would say, “How are you doing over there? How did it go?”

This is what the Chickadee Road :: Studio Sessions are about: Creating a virtual space where we can support one another as we take a few minutes or even an hour or two a day to practice and make small moves and big leaps toward the creative dreams that wait within us.

During our fall gathering, you will choose a creative practice to work with. Each day, we will be here to guide you, celebrate you, and inspire you, and your circle of kindreds will be here to catch you as you play and work and find your way.

Details

Dates: September 17-October 13

Where: We will gather in community at a private blog and in a private Flickr group. The posts will also be emailed to you so you can keep them.

Four weeks of daily posts include:

• Videos that take you into our own creative spaces and invite you to be present to self-care and fun
• Lessons about ways to invite in ritual and sacredness to your daily creative practice
• Creativity exercises to support your practice and keep your creative juices flowing
• Writing and photography prompts to keep you grounded
• Stories of our own journeys to reconnect with our creative joy
• Opportunities to share your stories through photos, daily check-ins, and other surprises along the way

Register:

Registration for the Fall session is now closed. To stay in touch about when we will run the next session, please sign up for the Chickadee Road newsletter. 

Questions? More details are available over at the Chickadee Road :: Studio Sessions page, including answers to a few questions you might have. And feel free to email us too! 

We can't wait to gather with you, share our stories, and dive into our own creative practices!