poem it out

poem it out

Maybe it is something about summer and the way my senses feel so intensely aware of the season or maybe it is how tender I feel some days as I try to find my way alongside a determined, super smart, but not talking a lot yet toddler or perhaps it is simply because working through Inner Excavation alongside a group of people has brought it up for me almost daily...but for some reason, I am turning to poetry even more than usual as a lifeline these days.

There is something about poets and the way they just get to the point. And then there is the way they hold up a mirror with their rawness and honesty and I am forced to let go of the "shoulds" and the "I thought I was the only one assumptions" because I see myself reflected.

And when I give myself the gift of just one minute alone to breathe deeply and try to get out of my head, I find myself hearing a line of poetry within that quiet. Sometimes I rush to get it down; sometimes I let it pass through me and travel out the open window.

Tonight, I sifted through a few pages of Pablo Neruda and felt a hunger to write more, to listen more to those words when they rise to the surface in the quiet, and honestly, it made me so glad that writing poetry in community won't end when Inner Excavate-along ends because the next session of Poem It Out begins July 30.

Creating Poem It Out broke me open. I let all of my love of poetry fly out of me from the place where I had been keeping it a bit too contained for one reason or another. It flew out of me and onto the page where I rearranged it and created an outline that became a course for others to join me in a poeming adventure. 

And as we worked through the class together, I began to realize that poeming feels like a way of living. It is a way to be present and open to this moment right here. It is way to sift through what has been. It is an access point for joy, beauty, and truth.

Here are a few words from participants of the last session:

So many things are coming to the surface for me as I soak in each lesson. So many doors opening inside me. Stories emerging. I have taken so many notes and have scribbled things down I don't want to forget...This is a whole new approach to writing for me and I am digging deep in my dig site. It is a comfort to know I am not alone...I love your videos and love hearing your voice. I wish I could hear you read a poem every single day. I feel so safe here. My heart is opening; my stories are emerging. I knew this class was going to be good, but I had no idea I would go so deep. 
Jennifer Belthoff, Spring 2012 participant

I took this course to renew my love for poetry. I thought it would ignite a spark that was lying dormant within for quite some time...It did all that and so much more. I look at things more deeply, I listen carefully to words spoken around me, I look at the beauty of my world, I read more intently, collecting thoughts and words along the way. This course came at the perfect time in my life and gave me my voice back, thank you for that. 
Donna Wynn, Spring 2012 participant

And one of my favorite middle of the night emails I've ever received:

It's 1:02 AM and I am snuggled in bed with my husband asleep beside me (hardly ever awake at this hour; at least not by choice) searching for and reading poetry on my iPhone. I just thought you might like to know this as I wonder whether Poem It Out can just go on forever.

Paula Moritz, Spring 2012 participant 

I'm telling you all of this today because this is what I know: You are a poet.

Yes.

You.

(Seriously.)

And if you are looking for a safe, fun, real space to begin to or continue to explore the world of poetry, as a reader and a writer, I would love for you to come along.

Read more about Poem It Out, including the FAQ over here.

shop update

betty in layers

This weekend, I had some time to gather up beads + lockets + a few happy butterflies + a few other good things to create a new collection of Soul Mantra necklaces and bracelets that are now in the shop!

new soul mantras in the shop

Whenever I wire-wrap beads and hammer these whispered soul mantra phrases, my hope is they will be companions for you and remind you that you are not alone as you walk on your path.

May your day be full of peace and light,

Liz

seven

saying an unexpected goodbye to a favorite cafe

Seven things I heard at WDS that I can't stop thinking about:

1) "Your capacity for wholeheartedness cannot exceed your willingness to be broken hearted." Brene Brown

2) "When we lose our capacity for vulnerability, joy becomes forboding." Brene Brown

3) "I am beautiful." Quote from a woman in Africa who is now able to bathe and wash her clothes when she needs to because she now has daily access to clean water. (From Scott Harrison's speech about CharityWater.org)

4) The idea that when someone says he is disappointed in you, it is really about how you didn't act in the script he had planned for you. [from Chris Brogan]

5) "The best supervillians think what they are doing is good." Chris Brogan 

6) "All of our contradictions make us whole, but we are trained to round off our edges." Danielle LaPorte

7) "Go where the love is." Danielle LaPorte

(I'm so appreciative of your comments and notes about last week's post about opposite assumption. I am thankful to know that others want to have conversations like this one. I have to admit to still feeling that the topic seems trite after all the goodness that went on at WDS. All the same, the topic feels like part of a bigger conversation that I want to keep having here.)

***

Oh and I'm having a bit of fun changing things up around here as you might have noticed. Back when I lived alone, I would often rearrange my bedroom just because I wanted a new view when I woke up the next day. I've been restless for a new look for this space for over a year, and instead of waiting for everything to be just so, I am diving in. Updates to pages and other good things to come throughout the next few weeks.

softly (leaning into wholeness)

whole heart soul mantra locket

Yesterday, I was thinking about my word of the year and reviewing my practice of thinking about what this time next year would look like if I lived 2012 from a place of wholeness. I began making a mental list of the "shoulds" and suddenly heard these words, "let yourself do it softly."

Deep breath.

As I navigate all that was being away from my family for several days during the last month to so many launches during the last few weeks that I can't even keep up with myself to how I know I need more rest instead of "do" to the ways in which I want to choose love to how I want to show up for myself and those I love, I am going to hold onto these words that seemed to have been whispered through the open window last evening.

Stillness speaks just the wisdom I need yet again...

living in a world of opposite assumption

hippopposites . a new favorite book around here

There are a lot of “take-aways” (a word I heard often this weekend) from the World Domination Summit I attended in Portland. I was so moved by the speakers and their messages and the people I met, reconnected with, and hugged for the first time in person that I plan to share some thoughts over several posts as I continue to unpack my experience and take in my notes. Oh and if you aren’t familiar with WDS, I love my (new) friend Rebecca’s definition: A community of adventurers who want to rock on and be of service.

Yes, there is so much to tell you. I want to share about charitywater.org and how following your passion might not always be the best first step and about what it felt like to be part of a group of 1000 people singing and dancing to Journey (thanks to Brene Brown) and have you heard…ah…we were each given $100. As in a $100 bill to take out into the world and invest in something good. For reals. Yep. More on that later this week (and you can just google it too).

And while I am still doing all this unpacking, I am really moved to share something else because this feels like a conversation that needs to be had…that I need to part of.

In fact, it is a conversation I’ve been wanting to have for a long time, and I feel a bit vulnerable in sharing it as in some ways it feels trite after the bigness and awesomeness that went on this weekend. But I think it is something that should be put out there, especially because it can be a huge hurdle to, well, just showing up and being yourself.

The conversation I want to begin is about how we so often assume opposites.

It became something I kept thinking about perhaps because it simply comes up when people gather, perhaps because it touches on vulnerability, which was an overarching theme of the weekend after Brene opened the summit and we found ourselves chatting a lot about introverts and extroverts and if we are willing to be vulnerable enough to put our beliefs into the world.

Let me give you an example of what I mean by opposite assumption. Smiling my very big “yes you can see all my teeth and my gums” smile used to be the way I dealt with being very nervous and overwhelmed. If inside I was feeling like I wanted to run away, outside I was standing alone smiling hoping someone would like me. During the first few weeks of my first year at boarding school, a friend of a friend of a friend told my roommate that an upperclassman girl wanted to “kick my ass” because I was “too damn happy.” In truth, I called my mom every night crying wanting to go home.

But here is a more recent less dramatic example. At one of the retreats during the past year, I was having a delightful “laugh out loud and then cry through tears” conversation with one of the participants. She suddenly said with exuberance, “You are a lot more fun than you seem online.”

It is important to note that I was not offended when this was said to me; in fact, I loved that she said it because it didn't trigger me but three years ago it would have. I nodded because I know that my online “be present, be here” persona doesn't always come across as fun. Mainly because when I come to the page, like today, I am trying to untangle from thoughts whirling in my mind. And these thoughts are often around “serious” themes.

I also wasn't at all offended when she said it because this is what I know: One of my superhero powers is taking things seriously.

The big smile I wore so often through my teens and twenties was in sharp contrast to the way many people would say, “Why do you take things so seriously?” or “You are so serious.” In fact, someone even elbowed me during an Indigo Girls concert during the line “I’m not making a joke, you know me. I take everything so seriously” from “Galileo.”

Whenever things like this were said, I would immediately assume that this meant I wasn’t any fun, that I had no sense of humor, that they thought I was unhappy, that they were trying to tell me people didn’t like me. But the truth is serious things happen to people, and from a young age, I think I really got this on a cellular level. And my seriousness was a trigger for others sometimes. 

In the last two years, I finally began to own this as a superhero power because I recognized that part of my work in the world is to gather women together in person and online and create safe places for them to show up as themselves and share their stories. And if I didn’t have a feel for how serious this is, it would be almost impossible to create this safe space.

Now I can sometimes hear people audibly sigh with relief when they get this "serious" piece about me because they know they can just tell their story without worrying about censoring themselves.

But being serious doesn’t mean I’m not fun. My close friends know that I am actually quite funny and love to be a bit silly too. I think anyone who has attended my retreats will tell you we do a lot of laughing and I almost always dance while singing along with Tina Turner and Michael Franti. There is a reason why participants call my retreats “soul parties.” 

Where is the take-away here? As I observed myself and others, I started to really think about my own assumptions in a new way. And I spent some time with how it feels to be on the receiving end of assumptions too.  

I believe we navigate the world through judgment. Happened to me Monday when I was basically stuck in a parking spot and had to inch out of it painfully. I was judging the room I had based on those tiny mirrors I was looking at with my tired eyes. I do the same with people. I see how they move through a moment and decide how to react based on what I see with those same tired eyes and what my past experiences have taught me. I assume. A lot.

But after being confronted with the way I judge through assumption in person (and more often how I judge people through online observation alone where they are just showing one slice of themselves at a time and how I am judged in this same way), I want to push myself to stop assuming through the lens of opposites.

If I didn’t talk to you this weekend or text to invite you to lunch or introduce myself with a huge smile on my face or even introduce myself at all, it’s because I was sweating through my clothes (it was hot in Portland) while confronting a lot of my own assumptions about myself.

I want to spend more time thinking about and writing about opposites and how they are important and powerful, especially in creative work, but also how they can push us to make assumptions that might not be true and perhaps never are.

What do you think? I’d love to make this a conversation if you’d like to join me.

backyard giggles

leaning into the "in july, i will..." list

chickadee road happiness

To celebrate the beginning of our blogging adventures over at Chickadee Road, Kelly and I are having a tattoo sale in our shop! 

Details: When you check out, just let us know which second set you would like (you have to use the special "note to seller" section that appears just under your address on the PayPal "Review your information" page - if you forget, just send us an email after you pay and we will take care of it).

And remember to head over to our blog and add it to your reader so you can keep up with our adventures over there!

this is not...

this is not a post about how not being enough is tugging on me today.

this is not a post about how sometimes i think about how small ellie jane's heart was inside her nine-pound body when she had surgery and the way that thought almost pushes me into a ball in the corner but then she will run into the room and laugh and insist on putting on her sparkle shoes so she can run outside and i find my breath again.

this is not a post about how the labels that float across the universe and into my mind feel like leaden balloons that won't let me dance the way my heart and legs long to dance.

this is not a post about how i almost forgot to pay attention because i was so wrapped up in the old story of feeling forgotten.

this is not a post about how i've had two horrible nightmares in the last two weeks that i still can't shake since they seemed so real.

this is not a post about how much i'm looking forward to staying at the ACE hotel in Portland next weekend and how i am slowly realizing i have an entire day to myself on monday with nothing on the agenda until the evening.

this is not a post about how i'm having first day of school jitters about the world domination summit.

this is not a post about how much i can't wait to show you the photographs vivienne took at the your story retreat.

this is not a post about how i might be the only person excited that it hasn't been hot this summer (yet).

this is not a post about how much i love my new haircut.

this is not a post about how much iced tea i plan to drink from my huge starbucks cup this summer.

this is not a post about how sometimes i talk about simple silly things because all i really want to talk about is grief.

this is not a post about how much i wish you would remember. 

this is a post about how important it is to do things together, just the two of us. even if one of us is working on her half of the table. even if we are annoying each other. even if the restaurant is so loud we can't have a conversation. even if i might get more "done" alone. even if he would have rather gone to a movie. yes. this is a post to remind me to create more space for two people who need to see one another.