a glimpse into my experience with project life

last week's project life layout (can you spot my favorite part of this photo?)

i am so delighted to be humming along with Project Life over here. i got a bit behind but am filling in the missing pieces here and there and am really enjoying it. and it makes me so happy that jon is getting involved every now and then. two weeks ago, he and ellie were dancing to a few songs after dinner and i snapped some photos. after he put ellie to bed, he asked me if i would be sure to print one of those photos out for project life so he could write down a few words. YES! and the empty space above is for him to write a bit about his day in Portnald since the photos are all about ellie and me and our week together (since jon was mostly working).

one thing i appreciate about my experience so far with project life is that it continually pushes me to let go of perfection. i am so inspired by other people who scrapbook and capture everyday life this way. and when i started project life, i imagined incorporating more "stuff" in my layouts. not a lot, but i did envision printing out a few digital elements or writing the stories in pretty fonts sometimes or simply just adding a few small bits and bobs and rounding the corners of my photos and how the list goes on. however, i am letting that go for now because my goal is just to get the photos and stories into the binder. and because i found a pen i really like (no surprise here...am totally using my Smash journal pen), i am happy to be writing the stories by hand.

another aspect of my experience that i find interesting is how i go from writing the stories like i am writing them to ellie (as though they are little letters to her) to writing the stories like project life is really for me (as opposed to being "for" my family). it will be interesting to see how this continues to unfold. i am including self-portraits (like the one above that is from my "what is real" series) and more personal things (like a photo of a list in the self-care section of my journal) partly because i don't want to censor myself because project life is for the three of us. i think there can a temptation to just share the happy when we scrapbook for our families, but when i look back on these stories + photos, i want to see the real in all its forms. 

having project life out where i see it everyday helps remind me to capture the stories when i think of them. and i continue to love how the canon selphy printer makes project life easier for me. i have the printer out next to the binder. i am also using the timer on my camera to capture ellie and me in some of our everyday moments, which really makes me happy. i think she will love these photos. actually, tonight as i was putting the photos in the binder she was really interested in what i was doing. later, she pulled me back to the kitchen table to look through the binder again like we were looking through one of her books. she pointed to all the little things from her daily life (her drink, crayons, mama, grandma, daddy, oranges, and so on) just like she enjoys doing with her books. it was awesome.

moving forward, i do plan to print out a few prompts using some of ali's phrases and other good things at designer digitals. i like the idea of handing a card with a prompt on it to jon or our babysitter or a friend who might be visiting and asking them to share a few words about the day with prompts like "today i want to remember" or "favorite moment of today." and i hope to buy a few things from france when she reopens her shop. i would also like to have some 4x6 cardstock ready to go to use as backgrounds or larger journaling cards. looking at the layout above, i wonder about that mostly blank date card almost everyone uses in the top left corner. i wonder if most people leave it blank or if some journal right onto it. it would be fun to add a few words every now and then maybe using letter stamps.

are you using project life? if yes, i would love to hear about how its going for you. and if you aren't, can you spot my favorite part of the photo on this page? makes me smile every time.

enough(ness)

a glimpse into evening work + play

This week is full of days that are "just us girls." Work has Jon away many evenings and unexpectedly out of town all day Saturday. This means the overwhelm continues to wait in the wings, hoping for its cue. As I sit with the reality that a cold arrived last night and has decided to stay for a bit, I am sifting through my self-care moves to see what might work for me today as I know I have to cross off things on my "must be done today" to-do list.

As I mentioned in my video post earlier this week, I have been thinking a lot about this illusion people have when they ask, "How do you do it all?" I am still not sure what "it" is exactly, but this is what I am thinking about this morning: A big part of this illusion of someone else "doing it all" has to do with how someone observing another fills in the cracks with assumptions.

And in the blogging/social networking world many of us "live" in, the observations another makes are just a tiny slice of what is real. Just a tiny slice of what someone puts out into the world. And we put our own spin on what we see and read and hear as it goes through our own filter. I think part of what pushes people away from connections that are made in this blogging community is that they feel the weight of the assumptions others are making about them, and perhaps, even more than that, they feel the weight of the assumptions they are making about others.

As I hear Ellie stirring and begin to slip into yet another role I will play today, I want to echo the words I said in Tuesday's video because I need to write them here to remind myself: Being enough does not mean doing everything. Being enough does not mean doing it all.

Let's be gentle with one another today. Let's be gentle with ourselves. Let's release our grip on the shoulds and the assumptions. Let's listen to what we most need and love ourselves so that we can live from a place of open-hearted love as we move about the world. Let's try to live from a place where we believe the people we meet, where we believe we, are already enough.

creating space for overwhelm

Yesterday was a day full of overwhelm, and as I found myself practicing self-care in many ways today, I wanted to share a few of the thoughts that led me from there to here. (You will see the video is in two parts because of an interruption in the middle and then Ellie makes an appearance at the end, which still has me laughing just a bit.)

In the video, I mention Jen Lee's new Iconic Self Home Retreat Kit and I am wearing the "you don't have to be so good" t-shirt that is part of the Iconic Self. I am just diving into the conversation between Jen and Phyllis Mathis that takes place over four CDs, and I will share more about my experience with this kit soon. (so so good)

(And I can't help but tell you that the wall behind me used to have three huge bookcases on it that we moved last week while my mom was here. and now it is a blank canvas for some photos I have been wanting to put up for a long time. Can't wait to show you more as I keep making this house into the home we most want live in.)

*****

This week, I am readying the Create Space classroom for the session that begins this Sunday. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have these conversations about how we can create space for all that we feel and experience and how we can honor who we are, where we have been, and where we want to go.

I want to share what Stephani, a participant from the last session, said in response to one of the lessons in the course:

I've never really asked myself, "What do you need today, kid?" I know what I want, but have never given myself real permission to give it voice and to allow it to be real and not a dream of "one day, maybe some time in the future." Such emotion has filled me today because I believe I CAN, instead of wondering IF I can. This practice for me personally has lifted a layer of self-doubt, negative talk and given me the motivation to throw out my beautiful box of excuses with tomorrow's trash…I truly am where I need to be right now.

You can read a few more testimonials over on the Create Space page. Registration is ongoing until class begins next week.

Blessings and light,

Liz

heart.full (a shop note)

a few of the new items now in the shop, including several new items added to the heart.full collection

Last February, I shared a bit about the girl I used to be:

She wasn’t one for a month all about love or stringing hearts up about the house. She rolled her eyes at the idea of one day when someone you call sweetheart is supposed to buy you roses. She had spent so many days alone that even when she found herself in love and loved in return, she still tried to ignore this need others had to make one day about something that never quite felt real. She was quiet about it but mostly tolerated seeing everyone in red, and then she bought the chocolates when they went on sale.

And in that post, I shared how part of this story changed forever on a day in the summer of 2010. Now I am a girl who loves hearts (as in I kind of can't get enough), who believes that "love is all you need," who believes we must invite in joy and peace and love each day, who believes in turning the idea of Valentine's Day on its head and making it more about love for self, for kindreds, for those who help you say "yes" to knowing you are not alone and that your story matters.

Last February, the Heart.Full Collection was created as a way to say thank you to the hospitals that saved Ellie Jane's life in 2010 and to honor that love comes into our lives in so many ways. 15% of the profits from this collection are split between Mary Bridge Children's Hospital and Seattle Children's.

And I am happy to share that starting today through Valentine's Day, I will be giving 10% of all the profits from each item sold in the shop to the Heart.Full Collection contributions I will make this year with your help. Thank you for your support and kindness. Thank you for sharing your stories and catching mine.

*****

I am delighted to share that I am part of 52 Photos Project's Handmade Valentine's Day showcase this week! Each day Bella is highlighting a shop and mine is up today.

I hope you will visit 52 Photos Project throughout the week to see what other good things Bells shares.

a poem and t-shirts (and other good things)

an in this moment photo from my 365(+1) self-portrait project
(and, of course, my smash journal yet again)

I am pretending we are having tea this evening as I want to share a few things with you:

I keep meaning to tell you that I wrote a poem and shared it at Roots of She earlier this month. I love poetry (big). 

Bella's video has me simply delighted. Every bit of it. The shadows. The music. The simple moment captured. (Of course, I also love that she mentions that she likes her One Word Girl necklace...but...really, I am inviting you to head over there to watch her video).

Speaking of Bella, she interviewed me this week over at 52 Photos Project. I so enjoyed her questions and sharing about self-portraiture and other good things. And I love that this interview pushed me to continue to own that I am indeed a photographer. (I tend to think of myself as a person who uses my camera as a tool to capture the moments of my life and sift through them, but I seldom use the word "photographer" when describing myself. Working on this one.)

I have so enjoyed this recent session of Emerge over at Live It to the Full. Teaching with Jenna and Viv is so much fun and deeply inspiring for me. And both of them have some incredible offerings right now. Check out Jenna's writing workshops and ecourses here (her intimate MFA-style writing workshop looks awesome). Find out more about Viv's photography ecourses here (and I am so so delighted that she is bringing back Swan Dive this Spring as I am so ready for it).

Have you seen Jen Lee's new t-shirts as part of the release of The Iconic Self? Oh my goodness that girl knows just what her kindreds need to hear (and wear). I was lucky enough to get my hands on one of her "Gentle Spirit...." tanks a few weeks ago and I have been known to wear it for several days in a row when I most need to be reminded of my hidden badass self. I am going to snap a photo of me wearing it soon. And I will also be sharing more on The Iconic Self next month. (Jen is sharing such good good things with the world.)

the nine interview (with catherine just)

The Nine is an interview series with creative folks that began on my blog, Be Present, Be Here, in the Spring of 2009; the interviewees are asked to respond to nine questions in photographs (or video). All the interviews can be found here.

Today, I am so delighted to invite you into the soul.full world of the magical Catherine Just. 

 *****

Question 1: Who are you?

Question 2: In this moment, where are you?

Question 3: What are the textures of your corner of the world?

Question 4: If you had an hour alone to just play, what would you do?

Question 5: How do you seek joy?

Question 6: What nourishes you?

Question 7: When you need to simply take a breath and ground yourself, what do you do?

Question 8: How do you nurture your creative dreams?

Question 9: Does your heart have a secret wish you want to share?

(all photos copyright catherine just)

*****

Catherine is an award winning photographer with a passion for helping others achieve their dreams. Her photos have been published on the cover of National Geographic Magazine and inside Oprah.com. She leads Soul*Full Retreats and eCourses for women merging creativity and personal growth. Find out which one is the best fit at http://www.catherinejust.com, and follow her on Twitter @Catherine_Just.

a self-care letter :: journaling

a page in my creative wholeness journal (in the eco-green smash journal)

I am deeply enjoying the conversations about journaling that have been happening since I posted my first video two weeks ago. Some of you have mentioned that my posts have encouraged you to get back to journaling; some of you have emailed me and said you are going to try your own version of a "creative journal" where you hold yourself accountable to the big dreams or the day-to-day business stuff. I am guessing some of you just kind of fell in love with the Smash journals when you saw them. Some of you are trying the "Jen Lee-inspired method" of keeping one main notebook/journal of everything. I just love how these conversations are unfolding and I so appreciate you sharing your experiences with me.

Seeing your journals pop up on Flickr and Instagram and Twitter made me think that it would be fun to have a journaling Flick group where we could cheer each other on and share ideas and pages and other good things. I have decided to call the group "Notes for the Journey" because that is what journaling feels like for me; notebooks and journals in all their forms become a place to capture pieces of ourselves that often become the notes we piece together to make sense of our experiences.

This group isn't just for Smash journals or business journals. It is simply a group to share photos of your journals and where you journal. You might share the pages inside your journal, notes about how your are journaling, and so on. If you are trying to create a daily journaling practice, you might post a photo each day of your journal and the mug of tea you drink while you write. If you are a journal buying addict (ahem...I now know I'm not the only one), you could share your finds. My hope is that we can support each other through sharing photos. I know it will help me hold myself accountable just a bit more so I keep going with this practice.

Just click here to join the group and start sharing (you will need a Flickr account). 

UPDATED :: A group of us is now using the hashtag #journeynotes over on Instagram if you want to join in.

As I focus on my own journaling habits and needs, I will continue to share what I am discovering and talk about how holding myself accountable is affecting me. I also plan to share some prompts or invitations every now and then that might inspire you to write in your own journals (or on your blogs). In that spirit, I want to tell you about an exercise I did this week.

A Self-Care Letter

As I mentioned in my previous posts about my new "creative wholeness journal," I have a section about self-care. In this section, I am listing my go-to self-care practices so that I can turn to them when I begin to notice I am feeling depleted but also when I just have a few minutes to myself and need a place to begin.

Earlier this week, I turned to the page shown in the photo above and decided to write myself a gentle reminder to rest. I thought about all the women I have connected with through the Be Present Retreats during the last three years. I thought about the stories they have shared and the ways in which we have held the space for one another as these words are spoken aloud. I thought about you and you and you and what I would most want to tell you if you needed a reminder to rest so that you could keep living your dreams into reality. And then I wrote the words in letter form right into my journal.

An Invitation

In your journal, write yourself a self-care letter that tells you whatever you most need to hear in this moment. Maybe you need a reminder to rest or to pay more attention to when you are hungry or maybe you need to give yourself permission to write and dream and know you are enough.

*****

A few people have emailed asking about where I have purchased my Smash journals. Here in Tacoma, there is a local store called Artco Crafts that is carrying them and has them on sale right now. I have also seen the accessories at Michael's and their website indicates the stores carry the journals. Amazon has quite a few Smash journals and products available (and they have the best prices I think). It looks like they are available at Paper Source. Please share any shops where you have seen them.

Blessings and light,

Liz

on making a home

me circa 1979

My mom and her partner Steve are visiting this week and we are doing some major rearranging and organizing and other good things around here. As I watch her with Ellie Jane, I can't help but think about my own grandmother and my own childhood and wonder what my mom must be thinking sometimes as she steps into this role of grandmother while watching her baby girl be a mother.

Thinking about that caused me to look through a few old photos tonight and there was this one. Me about three I think standing in the middle of the family room on Garland Circle. If I close my eyes and find my breath, I can travel back and feel the texture of that sofa and the nubby rug beneath my feet. I can see all the books lined up on the built-in shelves behind me and feel the smooth then bumpy spines of those green and maroon hardcovers. I can remember sitting right on that window seat singing Kenny Rogers' songs into my Fisher Price cassette player that would record my voice. I can see my dad sitting in that green chain and hear my mother humming along with Simon and Garfunkle in the kitchen. I can remember staring at those Norman Rockwell's and wondering about those two old men who must be friends. And then of course there was that odd statue. And then all those gorgeous pillows my mom made that she got rid of a few years ago that we now both wish she hadn't. And those windows. And the screened-in porch. And the coziness of that room and how there was just so much to see and take in and learn.

This is the house I dream about when my mind is quiet enough for me to remember. This is the house I walk through in my mind. This is the house I want to step back into and memorize and live in again just for a moment.

I am sitting with these memories tonight as I think about what matters to me when making a home and how letting go of emotional clutter in 10 bags to Goodwill felt like loosening my clutch on a getting too small shawl wrapped around me labeled grief. I am thinking about how beautiful it is to loosen that clutch on the roles I thought I played or how I assumed things would be. And loosening my grip on self-loathing in the form of being so angry with myself for clutter and holding on and trying to find my way to healing through buying too many bags of vintage lace or another blanket for Ellie that I just wanted her to have just in case something happened...

Loosening that grip lets the light in.

When we get done with this house this week, there is going to be so much light.

There is going to be a home full of light.

Yes.