joy.full

a truth i am sinking into:

when you know this is the path (that this is your path), you must show up and do the work.

(even when it is hard and might seem impossible. even when you don't think others will ever get it.)

keeping your heart open and letting hope partner with trust will be important guides along your way.

*****

each time i return from a be present retreat, i struggle with how to share all that unfolded. each retreat has been simply all that i hoped it would be plus whipped cream and cherries and the warmest hug of truth and love one could experience. (seriously, they really have been that good.) the joy retreat was oh my goodness simply fantastic. so much love and light and laughter and beauty. (thank you girls. big. thank you.)

gathering women together and providing space for them to show up as themselves feels as though it will always be my life's work. i am so blessed.

the final day of this retreat was the first time i have been the last person to leave (usually i have a friend or two with me). after walking through the house one more time, i put on my rain boots and headed out for a final walk through the sand. i had so much fun snapping away with my iphone that i feel moved to share a few of these photos with you over the next few days. i am going to pair the photos with a musing of sorts about what i am learning and leaning into as i breathe in the truth of the gifts these retreats give me.

she teaches me

eleanor jane, 9 1/2 months

each day, she moves me with her inquisitive, gentle ways. the simple joys in learning something new punctuate our days. she laughs and i feel my heart (literally, i feel it) open up more than i ever thought possible yet again. and when we explore the world, she watches, soaking it all up. those big blue eyes take it all in, and i think about how perhaps my role is to invite her to (never, ever) forget all that she already knows.

glimpses

inspired by the delightful darrah parker and her class at wishBIG ecamp, i have taken my camera on a couple of excursions around our little home, searching for clues.

so often i apologize for the messiness of our house, and if you have visited us in the last four years, you have heard me say things like, "the next time you come it will be cleaner. just wait. really. next time." 

but these last few days, as i looked around, i found warmth and gratitude and places to tuck in for conversation and tea. i found colors that make me happy and my own reflected smile.

(artwork in this photo by jen lemen, madelyn mulvaney, and brian andreas)

i found evidence of a family with a little girl, and a mama who is working so hard each day. i found a wish in the form of a photograph that made me say, "i hope she will always know love like this." 

and today, as the sun peeked in on us through the windows, i began to notice that it is pretty beautiful around here even if it is a bit cluttered and dusty. beautiful and real and full of love. perhaps it is time to admit that it really is becoming the home i always wanted.

a list of here.

a bit like candy . necklaces heading to the shop

i have a head cold.
i am trying not to worry about giving it to ellie. 
this is when i use a wand like dumbledore's to pull the thoughts of fear from my brain to store in vintage spice jars.
(i wish dumbledore could come for tea. maybe he could take some of the spice jars with him.)
we watch NCIS. when it is on, i pretend my grandpa is still alive and we will talk about it in the morning.
we never actually talked about NCIS, but i know he loved it, so i pretend.
usually we would talk about birds and notre dame sports and how much we both missed my grandmother.
now i miss them both. 
but each day it doesn't rain, ellie and i go outside and i tell her about the birds. i name each of them so she will always know. perhaps her first word will be chickadee.
i could easily be one of those people who travels the word searching for birds.
but mostly i am a bit hermit-like.
(having a baby with health issues makes being a hermit easy some days.)
being a hermit has its perks as you get to use your own bathroom all the time.
but it can get lonely (even when you are not alone).
this is one reason why i host retreats and get really excited to connect with people in person and teach workshops around the country.
i have been thinking lots about what makes the be present retreats such a beautiful experience for the women who gather.
i am honored to be part of them.
i believe that we must share our stories so we can deeply live in our lives.
otherwise i think the stories, our truth, get stuck inside us and that invites us to become stuck.
when we are stuck, we sometimes don't see the beauty or feel the light upon our heads.
(i know a lot of people who seem stuck.)
pounding phrases like "i am enough" and "i let it go" and "stand in your light" into metal push me to remember the truth that i (want to) believe.
i am so blessed.
but i have a head cold.
so i am going to tuck all of this "here.ness" inside me and take a breath or two and head to bed.
hope the sun shines in your corner of the world tomorrow.

the midwest inner excavation adventure (come along...)

(photo by CGM Photography)

The Be Present Retreats are heading to the Midwest

I simply delighted to announce that the Midwest Inner Excavation Adventure will be held in the beautiful lakeside town of Culver, Indiana from May 11-15. Culver is a magical place that is very dear to my heart, and I can't wait to connect with those who will be joining us for some play and connection in one of my favorite spots in the world.

Kelly Barton and I will be your guides on this adventure as we explore some of the ideas and themes brought up in my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media. We will play with paper and paint and color, dance inside words and find our inner poet, sit in the quiet, go on photography excursions, spend time with our senses, eat fantastic food, take walks by the lake, and explore our beautiful surroundings. There will be time to create, rest, connect, and breathe deeply.

(photo by kelly barton)

Kelly and I will be team teaching each day using the mediums of photography, writing/journaling/poetry, mixed media art (paint, paper, fabric, and many other good things), and meditation to explore three themes: 

• The Senses
• The Beauty of What Is Real 
• Unearthing the Story 

Each participant will be asked to bring a simple creative toolkit (more details will be provided with your information packets), and many of the art and other creative supplies will be provided. You are going to love playing with all that we are tucking into boxes and bringing with us on this adventure!

An important aspect of this experience is the invitation to listen to what you most need. If you need to head down to the Culver Coffee Company for some coffee with whipped cream, you can take that time for yourself. If you need to take a nap or simply stay in pajamas all day, you can make that choice. If you want to invite everyone to join you in a dance break and turn up some Tina Turner, to put it simply: you have come to the right place.

Bringing these retreats to my home state fills up my heart. (Yes.) And to bring a retreat inspired by a book that I wrote...I am smiling big over here. I simply cannot wait to gather with all who attend and dive into ways we can tell our stories and look at where we are on our paths through poetry, photography, and art. 

To learn more about this retreat, including tuition details and more about Culver and lodging, head over to the Be Present Retreats website. And feel free to send over any questions! Just click the email button in the sidebar.

five (really) good things . in this moment

1. finding two vintage suitcases at the rummage sale today. oh my goodness they make me happy. one will house a new creative project that i will be sharing at retreats and workshops (starting with your story in june). the other will just make me smile every day with its happy flower goodness.

2. the sun was shining down upon my head just a few moments ago.

3. creating a few new designs to add to the shop in the next few days. finding inspiration from a dish of jelly beans.

4. opening my eyes to see how my friends nurture me in so many (often unexpected) ways. 

5. tucking this truth inside my heart: i choose to find the beauty and my life is full and lighter because of it.

and you? tell me five really good things from your world. (dare you.)

a quick note (and a giveaway winner)

Thank you so much for sharing your brave, beautiful, and big-time inspiring creative dreams in the comments of the wishBIG ecamp giveaway post.

This evening, I gathered those dreams up into my arms and stood outside on my front step and said a blessing for those dreams and released them into the world (while adding one of my own). 

A big YES to all those dreams being lived into reality.

*****

Giveaway: A comment was randomly chosen and the spot at wishBIG ecamp goes to Angela (comment 18). (Angela, I will be sending you an email soon to connect.)

*****

And one more quick little note: If you are someone who is wanting to claim those dreams, someone who wants more creative play in her life, someone who wants to gather with some incredible people and take some juicy classes, I hope you will come along and join us at camp! It is gonna be good!

musings on spring {2}

front-yard crocus . march 2011

today,

as i sit inside the missing

spring brings with her each year,

i pretend all of who you are

has arrived by chickadee wing

and your chosen path

is to slowly blow open

each petal of the crocus