the half-granny triangle shawl

At my fall retreat, Kelly was using the most gorgeous yarn to crochet a half-granny triangle shawl.

And as I watched her double crochet back and forth, I was smitten.

On the drive home, Kelly, Sasha (my retreat kitchen goddess), and I stopped at Rainy Day Yarns in Gig Harbor and I bought yarn to make my own shawl. And then a few days later, I went back to buy more*.

I kind of can't stop making these simple, delightful, shawls. 

You can find the awesome and very easy to follow video tutorial to get you started right here. You can crochet one is about two movies worth of time. A beginner(ish) project for sure.  

The truth is, I think of them like a prayer shawl of sorts. As I said here, I like to imagine love being woven into each stitch. And while I'm crocheting away, I'm holding the person I'm making it for in my thoughts and truly hoping they feel a hug from me when they wear it.

And even though shawls might not be as "hip" as a cowl, scarf, or even wrap, I hope they'll put it on in the evenings when there's a chill in the air or when the lonelies set in or when life just feels a bit tough. Perhaps in those moments they will feel that love surround them and remember they are not alone.

Can a shawl really do that? I think it can.

Variegated yarn is really fun to work with when using this pattern. It gives it a bit more of the typical granny square look. Mochi Plus is my current favorite (you've seen peeks of me using it on Instagram lately). I also like the Liberty Wool Print yarns (Ellie's shawl is "Cupcake"). Yarn used in my shawl is Malabrigo Rios. I couldn't find a source for my color way, which is Indiecita, but etsy and ebay can be good sources.

Photos of Ellie and me by Vanessa Simpson (we might have used that one of Ellie for our holiday card because do you see that face? oh my goodness that kid.)

*The second time I went back to the yarn shop, they were having a class and didn't have time to wind my yarn.

This is the part where I could say, "Note to self: Never leave the yarn shop with skeins that aren't wound into balls." But luckily I know how to wind them at home without a winder.

And I made a tutorial for you in case you need to know too right over here.

Still, note to self: Don't leave the yarn shop without getting them wound honey. 

the file drawer {4}

oh how my word of the year is teaching me | shown here on the whole heart talisman

I recently decided I wanted more pineapple in my life. Seriously. Added it to a smoothie last week, and it was so good! And then I ran across a pin that led me here. Bring on the pineapple people!

Ellie and I are meeting my dad and step-mom in Disney World in TWO WEEKS! And I'm so happy I found these Dansko sneakers. Even though I am not a sneakers person, so figuring out what in my closet goes with sneakers is all kinds of something over here...more on that soon. If you're someone who wants free shipping and free returns, Nordstom carries a few other colors here but not the blue/orange that I have and linked to above.

Sweep your street well from Alexandra Franzen reminds us (me and you) to focus on our work and how we want to make a difference instead of fretting about how many people are reading our work. Love this post.

This storypeople story from Brian Andreas had me nodding and feeling that deep yes inside. Getting the daily stories in my inbox is awesome.

I'm so excited about Elise's Get to Work Book I can hardly stand it. She shares awesome sneak peeks and behind the scenes info here. It feels like it might be the system this crazy idea brainstorming but wait work has to get done too mind needs.

Speaking of behind the scenes, love this series of posts from Emily McDowell about the growing pains and awesome moments she and her business experienced last year. And this post from Katie Daisy that has an undercurrent of "Will you still support me when I'm no longer a struggling artist?" had me literally wanting to cheer.

And I'm going to dive into the world of homemade bone broth this week using this recipe. Do you make your own? I keep reading about it and am totally intrigued.

Me elsewhere: I'm over on ebay sharing a few ways to Beat the Winter Blues

New in the shop: The "I love you" postcard with the sweet little brass envelope is back in the shop in time for Valentine's Day! One of my favorite things about this set is that it is made here in the US. Most of the charms and brass pendants in my shop are.

where have i been all my life {a book review}

TLC Book Tours contacted me last month about doing a review of Cheryl Rice's book Where Have I Been All My Life? When I saw the tagline, "A Journey Toward Love and Wholeness," I knew I had to say yes. So they sent me the book, and I dove into Cheryl's journey while curled up on my couch.

The overarching theme of Cheryl Rice's book is about how her mother's death and the grief that followed became the catalyst to finally beginning a deeper, more honest relationship with herself. This topic is one I know in my own way, as I've had that experience of grief cracking me open in unexpected ways and finding there are gifts inside the grief even as you deeply miss the other person...in finding that someone else's death gave me space to dive into my own journey in ways I hadn't before the grief.

I also appreciated the honest way she talked about the grief that occurs during the first year or so after the person dies. At the beginning of the fifth chapter she writes:

Ten days into my motherless life, and I know already that I am not going through grief - grief is going through me. I am not in charge, which is quite disturbing, since I like being in charge. Not only that, but while my mother left lots of lists for what and who she wanted taken care of after she died, the one list she didn't leave was the one telling me what to do with myself without her.

One of the things I like about this book is that the path to this new relationship with herself isn't described as happening like a magic wand appeared one day and "aha!" Cheryl finally understood.

Instead she invites us into her non-linear, messy, reluctant-at-times, raw adventure into finding a home inside her. This includes developing a crush on her therapist, trying to control something, anything, by controlling what she eats, and trying to literally find her mom in the places where she could be, like Cheryl's childhood home, and the experiences that are a result of this searching. She writes, "I was bobbing in a stew of grief and longing. My homesickness for my mom was unrelenting."

Even though my mom is still alive, I could viscerally feel this while reading it. If you know grief, you've tasted this raw truth. 

Throughout the book, I like the way Cheryl invites us in with her conversational tone and realness. It reads at time like a journal, other times like a peek into a long conversation with a new friend with whom you instantly hit it off and you share everything over a three-hour lunch, and then it will read like pieces of a raw story you might hear at a storytelling evening at The Moth.

She also shares some journal-like writing she did at the time, and the prompts she's used (shown by the title of the chapter) would be beautiful ones to write in your own journal. I love that even though this isn't a book with prompts in it, we get a peek at the creative, self-care processes this woman used to get through her grief. And she talks about reading Mary Oliver, so you know I love that.

One of the criticisms I've read about Cheryl Strayed's memoir Wild is that it's about a woman who left her life in order to literally go on a journey to find herself, and how leaving our everyday lives to walk the Pacific Coast Trail isn't possible for most of us. Now, this book review isn't really the place for that conversation (though I do want to say that I found Wild highly relatable, and I think we champion Thoreau and other men who leave their "regular" lives but have a harder time supporting women who do), but there is a comparison to be made here. If you're looking for a memoir with similar themes to Wild - rebuilding your life after you're broken open by grief, realizing that you alone are the home you've been seeking - and you're looking for a protagonist who is living a life that might be a bit more similar to yours, then this will be a really good fit for you.

And one of the best ways I know that I really enjoyed a book? When I'm sad to see the story end because I feel like I've met a friend with whom I really want to spend more time.

People who are beginning the path of realizing they want to feel like they are enough and want to have a softer internal voice, and people going through grief experiences, often ask me for book recommendations. I'm delighted to add Where Have I Been All My Life? to my list.

Note that while I was given this book to review, all opinions are my own and I did not receive compensation other than the book. And of course it is always fun to write a book review when you end up really enjoying the book. Book links are affiliate.

the beauty and the grit

Ten minutes before this moment we were both yelling and I was setting the boundary of giving us space by walking the five feet to the kitchen and unloading the dishwasher. She cried and got really mad and then listened to her choices of staying at the table with kindness or playing alone while I kept cleaning. She chose to stay. So here we are laughing and cutting and staying in it.

It can be so hard to stay in it sometimes, but gosh when you do, you create so much more space for love.

And I guess I have a thing about sharing the "real" moments at the table right now. It feels important to gather evidence of what life looks like over here and remind myself of the little wins in the midst of all of it...of the ways I can hold beauty in one hand and the grit in the other and see them both and nod and say, "Yes, this."

(And I've been reading Parenting with Love and Logic and the idea of giving two choices that are positive come from that. It is really helping us and I highly recommend it...even if Ellie does sometimes say, "I don't want the choices again Mama.")

take a quick mama break

As part of my collaboration with eBay, I'm sharing a few quick ideas for taking a short "mama break" in the midst of whatever might be happening in your day. These are all things you can do in just 1 to 5 minutes, and my hope is you can use them in the carpool line, when you're moving from being on the floor playing with Legos to the kitchen to make lunch, and even when you're on the bus on the way to work.

I'm having so much fun sharing different guides over on eBay, and I hope you'll take a moment to read this one along with the others over there. And a shout out to Vaness Simpson of Focus in Photography for taking so many of the photos in several of the guides I'm sharing over there.

And here's one quick way to take a mama break right now: close your eyes and take five deep breaths (or even just one) and focus on the space you create inside you each time your chest opens as you inhale.

*****

If you're a mom want to dive even deeper into ways to practice self-care, check out Water Your Mama Soul. It's a 10-day class that invites you to come home to yourself through photography, writing, and self-care prompts.

here

Instagram caption read: "It may be takeout in the midst of a mess, but it's still my little family together around the table sharing about our day and annoying each other and laughing and singing along with Johnny Cash."

Because I want to sit at the table more.

Because I want to invite in more joy.

Because I want to keep things simple when that will bring in more ease.

Because there can be beautiful, real, true, for-the-scrapbook moments even when the house is cluttered and you're eating amidst a current creative project.

Because judging myself does not create space for more joy.

Because noticing these moments invites in more light.

Because look at that smile. 

Yes.

(Instagram photo + words prompted by Jenna's One Moment Memoirs daily prompts. It's free and she's sharing prompts for the whole month right here.)

an intention to guide you

In November, the idea came to me to offer an intention necklace in the shop - something for the person who likes the idea behind choosing a "word of the year" but doesn't want to choose one or one hasn't presented itself yet or something for the person who just needs some extra reinforcements any time of year. I wanted the gemstones to represent several different types of journeys a person might be on right now, while inviting in strong guidance and support. I also knew I'd be creating a special mantra with each stone, so I wanted stones that felt ready for that kind of goodness.

So when Bonnie and I went to the gem show in late November, we were looking for gorgeous, unique stones that really seemed to hold the magic of this idea.

Here's what we found:

Aquamarine: For courage, growing trust, and connection to the sea. 
Your aquamarine mantra for the year: May I listen to the brave wisdom within me and open my heart toward the peace that awaits.

Rose quartz: A stone of the heart.
Your rose quartz mantra of the year: May I feel supported as I open my heart toward self-compassion and love.

Kyanite: A stone for speaking your truth, it is deep blue in color.  
Your kyanite mantra for the year: May I connect to the wisdom and courage within me and tell my story.

Moonstone: A stone for beginnings and connecting to your light and to the divine feminine. The stone used in this offering is cloudy white in color and sparkles in certain light. 
Your moonstone mantra for the year: May I seek the stillness I need to connect with the light within me.

Amazonite: A stone of courage and truth that soothes the spirit. 
Your amazonite mantra for the year: May I remember to show up as me and let go of what I no longer need.

Amethyst: A stone for comfort, peace, and becoming.
Your amethyst mantra for the year: May I embrace my journey of becoming and remember to seek and ask for the comfort and support I need.

You can find this limited edition offering right here. You choose the gemstone that represents the intention you'd like to hold at this time in your journey, and I'll choose one just for you from the olive wood bowl that holds them on my studio altar. We also include a little card with your stone's intention and mantra.

And if you're looking for an even more personal experience and special necklace designed just for you, check out the Soul Talisman offering to see if it feels like a good fit for you. I can even include your word of the year with that special offering.

open :: my 2015 word

As I mentioned yesterday, my word finally presented itself while I was listening to Elise and Ali during Elise's podcast. Eleanor and I were driving back from a quick trip to Portland and she was sleeping, so I was able to catch up with a few episodes. When Ali talked about open, her word from 2013, I felt my shoulders relax and my heart expand and I knew I'd found my word.

Usually I share my word at the end of December. I'd planned to share how I was going to work with four words this year, but I just couldn't figure out how to talk about them, so I knew I hadn't quite found the right practice for me. 

That said, I think working with multiple words is an awesome idea and I am actually going to keep those four words + "open" front and center for me this year. Each of them appeared in the brainstorming exercise I did in my journal above: rise, peace, allow, and delight.

I've started this journal that's going to focus on "open." It's where I'll be putting my responses to the prompts in Ali's One Little Word class (which is an awesome way to help you keep your word visible throughout the year - I highly recommend it!) and where I'll just be touching base with myself about how I'm staying open...how the word is affecting me...and what I'm learning along the way. I'm excited to try this method. I can imagine it holding other journaling that feels connected to my soul care practice right now (for example, I'm adding some journaling from Viv's Cultivating Self-Care class).

For a peek at how I created another journal that brought together all I was learning from my 2012 word "whole," see this post.

Here's what I know right now: Open has four really important meaning/intentions for me this year.

1) Staying open to connection: I continue to feel a deep longing for in-person connection on a much more frequent basis. My summer watercolor picnics were one way that I tried to create this for myself and others. I hope to do more things like this and just risk saying, "Want to meet up for coffee?" more often this year. I felt a shift already happening this fall and I want to push myself to keep going, to keep staying open, and to allow space for that connection in my life.

2) Keeping my heart open: This one is especially about my marriage. Since Ellie was born, there are parts of me that have been more closed than I ever imagined they could become, which is in such contrast to how I've felt so broken open in so many beautiful ways these last few years. The first year of her life was such a hard one for me, and I put up some walls for self-protection. As I've said to a few close friends, the first two years of motherhood felt like I was literally keeping her alive while she was on heart medication before and after her heart surgery, and in many ways that was true. And when you're in that kind of caretaker role while also growing your business, sometimes the little acts of connection and intimacy and love give way to the to-do list and the need for deep self-care and rest. The ability to vulnerably say, "I miss you and I need a hug" felt very far away. Right now, I'm asking myself, "How can I be even more open in this moment?" and seeing where it takes me/us. Jon and I also going back to a practice I shared here, where we're going to write letters back and forth in a journal. A simple way to just reconnect. I probably won't be sharing too much about this here (we'll see), but it is an important part of my personal practice this year.

(Note that I'm not looking for advice about this but am instead sharing a brief glimpse into our world because I know it might help someone else who needs to add a similar practice to their intention for themselves and their family right now. Thanks for understanding.)

3) Open to change/feeling uncaged: This connects to wanting to feel freedom as I make some changes to my business, specifically with the ecourses and retreats I offer. No big news yet as I'm in the beginning dreaming stages with some of it. But I'm excited to be in this place of "newness" and possibility again, even while I'm grieving letting go of some things. I'm interested in seeing how the practice of being open helps me heal from this grief (and other grief in my life).  

4) Open to the unexpected, to delight: When a customer ordered the phrase "rise and shine" for her word of the year necklace, as I was hammering it, I got this image of how the sun opens up the possibility in each day and how we have the choice to rise and shine and be in this light or to stay closed to what is waiting for us. We can rise up each day. We can stand in our light. We have the choice to be delighted by this possibility or ignore it. I want to stay open to the delight waiting for me each day. 

What word are you working with this year?

If you're still deciding, one idea would be to try to the brainstorming exercise I did in the photo above. I put my word in the middle of the page and just started writing words and phrases that felt connected to it, then words connected to those words etc. You could do this with several words you are thinking about working with. Get curious. 

And if you have your word, I'd love to know what it is. Share in the comments please. (And maybe even try this exercise with your word as you think about the practice you're creating for yourself right now.)

Thanks for being here beside me,
Liz