a self-care letter :: journaling

a page in my creative wholeness journal (in the eco-green smash journal)

I am deeply enjoying the conversations about journaling that have been happening since I posted my first video two weeks ago. Some of you have mentioned that my posts have encouraged you to get back to journaling; some of you have emailed me and said you are going to try your own version of a "creative journal" where you hold yourself accountable to the big dreams or the day-to-day business stuff. I am guessing some of you just kind of fell in love with the Smash journals when you saw them. Some of you are trying the "Jen Lee-inspired method" of keeping one main notebook/journal of everything. I just love how these conversations are unfolding and I so appreciate you sharing your experiences with me.

Seeing your journals pop up on Flickr and Instagram and Twitter made me think that it would be fun to have a journaling Flick group where we could cheer each other on and share ideas and pages and other good things. I have decided to call the group "Notes for the Journey" because that is what journaling feels like for me; notebooks and journals in all their forms become a place to capture pieces of ourselves that often become the notes we piece together to make sense of our experiences.

This group isn't just for Smash journals or business journals. It is simply a group to share photos of your journals and where you journal. You might share the pages inside your journal, notes about how your are journaling, and so on. If you are trying to create a daily journaling practice, you might post a photo each day of your journal and the mug of tea you drink while you write. If you are a journal buying addict (ahem...I now know I'm not the only one), you could share your finds. My hope is that we can support each other through sharing photos. I know it will help me hold myself accountable just a bit more so I keep going with this practice.

Just click here to join the group and start sharing (you will need a Flickr account). 

UPDATED :: A group of us is now using the hashtag #journeynotes over on Instagram if you want to join in.

As I focus on my own journaling habits and needs, I will continue to share what I am discovering and talk about how holding myself accountable is affecting me. I also plan to share some prompts or invitations every now and then that might inspire you to write in your own journals (or on your blogs). In that spirit, I want to tell you about an exercise I did this week.

A Self-Care Letter

As I mentioned in my previous posts about my new "creative wholeness journal," I have a section about self-care. In this section, I am listing my go-to self-care practices so that I can turn to them when I begin to notice I am feeling depleted but also when I just have a few minutes to myself and need a place to begin.

Earlier this week, I turned to the page shown in the photo above and decided to write myself a gentle reminder to rest. I thought about all the women I have connected with through the Be Present Retreats during the last three years. I thought about the stories they have shared and the ways in which we have held the space for one another as these words are spoken aloud. I thought about you and you and you and what I would most want to tell you if you needed a reminder to rest so that you could keep living your dreams into reality. And then I wrote the words in letter form right into my journal.

An Invitation

In your journal, write yourself a self-care letter that tells you whatever you most need to hear in this moment. Maybe you need a reminder to rest or to pay more attention to when you are hungry or maybe you need to give yourself permission to write and dream and know you are enough.

*****

A few people have emailed asking about where I have purchased my Smash journals. Here in Tacoma, there is a local store called Artco Crafts that is carrying them and has them on sale right now. I have also seen the accessories at Michael's and their website indicates the stores carry the journals. Amazon has quite a few Smash journals and products available (and they have the best prices I think). It looks like they are available at Paper Source. Please share any shops where you have seen them.

Blessings and light,

Liz

on making a home

me circa 1979

My mom and her partner Steve are visiting this week and we are doing some major rearranging and organizing and other good things around here. As I watch her with Ellie Jane, I can't help but think about my own grandmother and my own childhood and wonder what my mom must be thinking sometimes as she steps into this role of grandmother while watching her baby girl be a mother.

Thinking about that caused me to look through a few old photos tonight and there was this one. Me about three I think standing in the middle of the family room on Garland Circle. If I close my eyes and find my breath, I can travel back and feel the texture of that sofa and the nubby rug beneath my feet. I can see all the books lined up on the built-in shelves behind me and feel the smooth then bumpy spines of those green and maroon hardcovers. I can remember sitting right on that window seat singing Kenny Rogers' songs into my Fisher Price cassette player that would record my voice. I can see my dad sitting in that green chain and hear my mother humming along with Simon and Garfunkle in the kitchen. I can remember staring at those Norman Rockwell's and wondering about those two old men who must be friends. And then of course there was that odd statue. And then all those gorgeous pillows my mom made that she got rid of a few years ago that we now both wish she hadn't. And those windows. And the screened-in porch. And the coziness of that room and how there was just so much to see and take in and learn.

This is the house I dream about when my mind is quiet enough for me to remember. This is the house I walk through in my mind. This is the house I want to step back into and memorize and live in again just for a moment.

I am sitting with these memories tonight as I think about what matters to me when making a home and how letting go of emotional clutter in 10 bags to Goodwill felt like loosening my clutch on a getting too small shawl wrapped around me labeled grief. I am thinking about how beautiful it is to loosen that clutch on the roles I thought I played or how I assumed things would be. And loosening my grip on self-loathing in the form of being so angry with myself for clutter and holding on and trying to find my way to healing through buying too many bags of vintage lace or another blanket for Ellie that I just wanted her to have just in case something happened...

Loosening that grip lets the light in.

When we get done with this house this week, there is going to be so much light.

There is going to be a home full of light.

Yes.

snow days

a few more journaling thoughts

So the Smash Journal love continues. As I mention in the video, I received a few emails with questions so I thought I would share a bit more in this video. (Be sure to check out my first post about how I am creating a practice around my journal and read the great comments in that post where people share their own thoughts about journaling.) I have decided to just call this my "Creative Wholeness Journal" because that really sums up all that it holds right now.

Settle in with a cup of tea...

A few notes about things I mention in the video:

1) Jen Lee totally made a video when I asked her to share the way she uses her journal. So excited for you to hear her thoughts and be inspired. Watch her video here. (Thank you Jen!) And while you are over on her site, check out the t-shirts she has been posting about that are coming soon. LOVE her shirts!

2) I am using my new red Smash journal for ecourse ideas. I really do think creating a journal with tabs for your current projects is such a good idea. Do you do this? Would love to know more from those of you who do. I have tried the 3-ring binder approach in the past, but it didn't stick. Hoping this will as my current approach of having notes in three spiral notebooks (depending on which I can find in a given moment) is not so much supporting me.

3) Here is a link to Tricia's shop of beautiful handmade journals. I have one of her coptic-stitched hardcover journals that I use for notes at my retreats. Love it.

4) A few of you have asked me about the sticky notes I am using (since you too thought they were cute!). It looks like the company, Galison, that makes them has discontinued this exact line, but I did find their website with so many other delightful options and other good things to distract your for a bit. I also have these that I am using in the new journal. 

Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts about your own idea journaling and daily journaling. It is so much fun to learn from one another.

recentering

On Monday morning, I took a few minutes alone in the front yard to just breathe in the fresh air and watch the snow fall. We are in this stage where Ellie so wants to communicate with us but isn't using a lot of words we understand, so there can be moments of frustration and confusion on both sides. As I stood in the front yard with the snow crunching beneath my feet, I began to notice that I felt lighter and grounded and even peaceful as I listened to the birds and felt snowflakes land on my nose.

I took a short video because I want to remind myself how much a minute or two or three outside paired with a few deep breaths recenters me every time.

*****

As I gather a few new tools and stories for this next session of Create Space, I keep coming back to this idea that accessible practices become like handholds as we find our way. Each time I remind myself to get outside for just a minute or two and create space for my own feelings within my family, I practice self-care and am able to come back to the many roles I play from a more centered space. If you feel moved to have more conversations about how we can integrate making space for ourselves and all we experience into our day-to-day lives, consider coming along. Registration for Create Space is ongoing until class begins.

snow and pizza (the story of today)

This was going to be a post about the stew and soup I made this weekend (both really really good), but then we had this delightful day that included playing in the snow and making pizza and dancing in the kitchen and coloring and lots of toddler giggles as snow continued to fall outside, so I am sharing this story + recipe instead.*

(More than Just a) Simple Pizza: A Cooking Experience

Before you begin to make this simple pizza, set the scene. Having music on is a very good thing. (Current favorite is radioIO Acoustic Café using the Pocket Tunes App for ipod/iphone.) Then have your family nearby so you are reminded that you are making this meal for people you love. Of course, being totally solo in the kitchen singing along with Adele is an equally delicious way to approach this meal, and since this pizza isn't huge, it would be perfect for dinner for one and then lunch the next day. 

Then, take premade pizza dough from the fridge, remove it from the bag, and let it sit for 20 minutes on a floured surface. (My friend Christine recently mentioned that Trader Joe’s has a great pizza dough in their refrigerated section, so we tried it today. It is awesome! Your local store should have Pillsbury or another brand near the pre-made cookie dough if you don't have Trader Joe's nearby.)

Preheat oven to 450.

Next, gather your toppings. Cut up your veggies; then find the cheese you want to use and put it in a pretty bowl just because it makes you happy. When someone says, “We are going to have more cheese than that, right?” you can reassure him that yes, we will but this bowl looks pretty for photos. 

At this point you might realize you have 12 minutes until your 20 minutes are up. Here are some options:

a) Dance with your family in the kitchen to a song or two.
b) Fill one more grocery sack with items from your cabinet full of too many glasses and put on the porch to take to Goodwill.
c) Give your one year old her very first orange pepper slice and then proceed to feed her about 10 more pieces because she keeps saying, “good!”
d) Begin to clear the table of all your beading supplies so you can sit at it to eat.
e) All the above (as you realize 12 minutes is much longer than you think).
f) Make a quick salad that would pair nicely with pizza and give you more greens. (Next time. Yes. Next time)

Now you are ready to roll out the dough onto a floured surface. It is a good idea to let go of having a round pizza, especially if the surface you are using is rectangular. (And when you cook it, it somehow finds its way to being mostly round. Of course, later I thought about how I would roll it out on the pizza stone next time. Ahem.) And if someone stronger than you is around and offers to roll it for you, well, say yes. (It wasn’t that hard though and reminded me of standing at the window at Noble Romans watching teenagers make pizza decades ago.)

(Now this next step is one you should insert up there right before “dance with your family,” but when it comes at this point instead, give yourself permission to roll with it.) Next, remember that you have chicken sausage in the fridge that you want to add to the pizza. 

Cook the sausage if you are adding it. If someone else is cooking it (thanks Jonny), you might be able to wire-wrap 10 beads and dance with your daughter.

Next, put pizza dough on a pizza stone if you have one (if not, use a pan). Then, assemble your pizza. I layered as follows: olive oil, thin layer of cheese, mushrooms and orange pepper and small bits of chicken sausage, then lots of cheese.

Bake for 8-12 minutes. You know it’s done when the bottom of the dough is browning. I baked ours for about 15 minutes though and it was perfect, so do adjust the time based on your oven and dough thickness.

When you take it out, gather your family to oooh and ahhh at the pizza’s beauty.

Take a few photos.

Eat.

Have toys on hand for your toddler to play with when she decides she is full from all the pepper slices and won’t eat while you are eating. She can color or build things and you will be much more likely to enjoy your pizza if she is content.

Because this is a food that Ellie eats and since it really was so easy to use this dough (and felt really satisfying to roll it out and even has me thinking about making my own dough), I imagine making pizza a few times a month and sometimes making it for the two of us for lunch during the week (EJ and I are more likely to do no meat, less cheese, more veggies). So, this means, I am totally creating a pizza Pinterest board to save recipes I want to print out and add to my recipe binder. Just started using the binder because I am learning that I simply need that “oh right, I could make pizza this week” reminder that seeing a recipe in a binder gives me.

An invitation: I would love to know your favorite homemade pizza toppings/recipes. Please share them in the comments.

*The story behind the story: In some ways, this is the most important paragraph of this blog post, so I hope you made it to here. In the past few months, there haven’t been a lot of days that could be described like the romantic “wow, aren’t they lucky?” paragraph that begins this blog post. There are moments of beauty and love each day, but there have also been some of the toughest moments Jon and I have experienced as a couple. Today, as I wrote this post, I kept thinking about how the slight changes I have been making as I continue to focus on leaning into whole(ness) have been creating space for more laughter, for listening, for sharing (because we are talking with one another when we sit at the table), and for intimacy as we work together in the kitchen or as he talks to me while I cook or as we read or work together after she goes to bed (or naps) because we just want to continue to be together and not turn the television on. 

*****

Here is a simple version of this recipe in case you have a binder like me and would like to print it out.

The "Anyone (this means you too) Can Use Premade Dough" Pizza

Ingredients:

Premade refrigerated pizza dough (I used Trader Joe’s)
Veggie toppings of choice
Meat toppings of choice (I used Trader Joe’s breakfast chicken sausage)
Cheese of choice (I used pre-shredded mozzarella from Trader Joe’s)
Olive oil (I used Annie’s infused with basil)

Steps: 

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. UPDATE: I now heat our oven to 500 so it takes less time.
2. Take dough out of packaging and let sit 20 minutes on floured surface.
3. Chop veggies, cook meat if applicable, grate/slice cheese as needed.
4. Roll pizza dough into a round(ish) shape, continuing to keep surface floured to avoid sticking (it’s a good idea to follow directions on your dough’s packaging).
5. Spread olive oil over dough.
6. Add toppings of choice (keeping to thin layers to avoid weighting down the dough)
7. Bake for 8-12 minutes (longer as needed depending on oven/dough thickness). 

ruffle-izing

so this ruffle obsession, well, i am not kidding. i have been dreaming a bit about possible outfits (and then there is that ever-growing-in-the-middle-of-the-night pinterest board), so today, i "shopped" from my own closet and found some ruffles.

since i posted about my new journal last week, i have been thinking about how your comments and emails reminded me of how much we really just love to know how other people "do it." we sit in our homes around the world from one another, looking at these little boxes and connecting "through" them, and sometimes, it is simply fun to see a glimpse into the ways others live their day-to-day lives. like i would love to know more about your favorite shoes, the books on your bedside table, the way you organize your paper crafting supplies, what your go-to lunch is, where you get your sparkly eye make-up, and how you eat a double-stuff oreo. and if we met up for tea or you came over for lunch, we would share these things.

about a year ago, i mentioned that i wanted to blog more about a few different things, including clothes. but last year i didn't have a smash journal full of blog ideas and i wasn't reminding myself of all the things i wanted to do here in this space, so i didn't post about clothes or lots of other things i meant to. but today, i snapped this photo of this outfit that made me smile and just wanted to share it with you. 

as i was downloading the photo, i started thinking about how i wish i had a group of girlfriends here in my town who i went shopping with. a few girls who would share their go-to places for everything from dresses to yarn to spices. 

but here is the awesome thing: we have each other. (i mean you and me.)

so in case this ruffle-ized outfit that made me feel so happy today is your style, here is some info (and if you just want to let me know how you eat double-stuff oreas or tell me about your current favorite book and skip this part and just head to the comments, that is totally okay):

bloomers: these wide ruffle bloomers from sarah clemens in light brown stripe (looks like she might not have this color anymore, but she has a similar color in a grey stripe). i have quite a few items from sarah and her clothes are well made and adorable.

white layer: sundress from old navy. it actually even has spaghetti straps that tie but i never wear it alone. instead, i always wear it as a layer under something and kind of think of it like a petticoat or slip. (i bought it in three colors and i bet they will have a similar style in stock soon as they already have summer clothes in. this one would work as either this layer or the next.)

navy layer: dress from target several years ago (but it has so many holes in it and a bleach stain on the back that i have started wearing it as my painting "smock" at retreats. but decided to wear it today. i would really like to replace it with one like this from gaia conceptions on etsy. her clothes are wonderful and really well made.)

black layer: this crop top from treehouse 28. (here is the part where i tell you it has taken me several years to figure out how to wear this one with my shape [aka the size of my chest]. finally figured out that the top pairs really nicely with the empire waist items i have.)

scarf: scarf shop giant size in olive moss. martha's scarves are wonderful. so beautifully hand-dyed and so soft.

you can't see: the boots i've mentioned before and these fun (a bit over the knee) knee socks in plum from sock dreams (if you don't know sock dreams, stop everything and head over there. right now.). you also can't really see my favorite "nest builder" necklace by nina or my globe earrings by jen. and the camera strap that i have been using for year is by vmjess.

thank you for indulging me with this list. it is fun to share as though we are sitting at a coffee shop catching up.

tomorrow i am going to check in here about how things our going as we attempt to sit at the table for meals and i try to cook more. i am even going to share a recipe or two. one of them involved purple potatoes!

clementines and instax photos (and other really good things)

1) clementines. these little babies from trader joes make me smile every time i look at them waiting patiently in our vintage-inspired jadeite bowl. ellie and i shared four in a row friday evening. after taking her first bite i asked her, "what do you think?" "good!" she said as she reached for more. we are going to go through the whole bag this weekend.

2) ruffles + layers + a bit of lace...i am obsessed. obsessed in an i am using ruffle-ize as a verb sort of obsessed. and you can see evidence of this obsession over on pinterest. (not kidding. not even a little bit kidding.)

3) this post by elise about why "choose" is her one little word. (deeply inspired by this story as "choose love" is one of my current mantras.)

4) the instax mini is making me so so happy. the little photos are the perfect size to slip into the small pockets in my Project Life album. there is a bit of a learning curve in the winter when there isn't great light but i am giving myself permission to see each photo as an exercise in play. and i am so enjoying taking self-portraits with it that i can imagine an entire project around instax self-portraits. one observation: i had the camera outside when it was in the 30s and the photos seemed to really have trouble developing. (i've been told this is common with polaroids.) so i quickly put the photos in my pocket and my body heat seemed to help.

5) Alicia and Anna Maria have me dreaming about weekends spent by the fire with a needle and thread creating something gorgeous with embroidery or counting cross stitch. and it would be snowing out. and i would be wearing ruffles. and ellie would be contently playing and giggling and dancing. and jon and millie would be napping. and i think soup simmering on the stove would probably be involved. yes. that sounds like perfection. i have Alicia's Daisychain ABC's Sampler and I think it will be a good place to start. but first i have to finish that granny square scarf. yes. i must must do that first. (oh and have you seen anna maria's rugs? her fabric is always a favorite of mine...and now the patterns come in rugs? adore. big.)

hope your weekend has been full of many good things (and rest).

sending light and blessings across the miles,

Liz