truth.

A few weeks ago, I shared a bit about our "welcome to this world ellie jane" ceremony. Jon read her the book Blueberry Girl by Neil Gaiman, and I read her the poem "My Daughter Asleep" from the book River Flow: New & Selected Poems 1984-2007 by David Whyte.

When I read her this poem seven and a half weeks ago, it was like a wish I wanted to whisper to her and all that surrounds her now and in each moment to come.

But now, on this day, when I read this poem aloud, it became this parent's holding-on-by-her-fingertips truth, in the disguise of a poem by David Whyte.

May the universe hear me speak the words of this poem and hear them as my truth. And hold us in her gentle arms...

(To hear me read this poem, click on "a poem for a friday" below. Visit David Whyte's site to learn more about him and read more of his words.)

a poem for this friday

this day.

 

on this day, we took an early evening august break and explored point defiance park (with the new rebel and the new "oh my goodness i love it" lens)

a cover (or rather, the cover)

imagine it a blue sky with a warm soft breeze in the air sort of day and you have just arrived at my little house in the pacific northwest. in this moment, we are sitting down to peach tea (probably of the iced variety as it is august) with a sprig or two of mint and happy pink cupcakes with chocolate frosting and a bowl of blueberries and a blue plate with white polka dots that holds a bit of cheese (because there must always be a bit of cheese). a jelly jar full of dahlias cut from the backyard and a short pile of books with a paper resting on top of them sit between us on the table; paolo conte sings while the warm yet refreshing breeze floats through the open windows. after we each take a sip of tea, i flip over the piece of paper and say, "this is it. this is the cover of my book." and then we toast with cupcakes before we dive into an afternoon of laughter and poetry readings and truth sharing.

yes. let's imagine this is just where you are in this moment.

because here it is...the cover of Inner Excavation that will be appearing at a store near you this fall...

 

this dream really has come true. 

*****

and i must confess that i did plan to share more here about the process and experience of writing Inner Excavation when i was in fact writing it. but because i was so ill the first few months of my pregnancy (when i was doing the bulk of the work on the book), i just didn't have the energy to share the details. but now that the little one is here and i am finally able to focus on the truth that this book really did happen (that i really did write it and i did take photos that are included in it and i did gather artwork and poetry and photographs from some amazing contributors that appear in it), from now until its publication later this fall, i am going to share pieces of what this book is all about and why i am so very excited to introduce you to this inward journey of exploring where we are on our paths through photography, poetry, and mixed media art.

(oh and the pile of books between us as we drink our tea includes a few i have been opening lately that i want to share with you:

Mostly True: Collected Stories & Drawings by Brian Andreas

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics) by Pema Chodron

Colors Passing Through Us by Marge Piercy

lately, the words from these books have been like a hand to hold on the journey.)

Edited to add:

PS I keep forgetting to tell you that I will be offering pre-orders of my book here through my site. The book will come with a signed note from me (to whomever you wish) and a free little surprise of goodness. Stay tuned as I will be posting more information about this very very soon.

this and that

breathing in all of it (for the august break)

a few bits:

thank you for words and emails lately. i truly feel so blessed to be cocooned in so much support. i am happy to report that ellie continues to be doing well. the medicine she takes is working, and she is beginning to smile and coo and reveal a bit more of her personality each day. i wish you could come over for tea to meet her. she really is the bees knees.

we are having more days that feel like summer here. love getting out and soaking up a bit of sun and remembering that there is life outside of our little house.

i am participating in susannah's august break over on flickr. i really love this idea and am looking forward to trying to capture a bit of summer each day. some days i will be sharing the photos here too, but i know i will also be posting some other things in this spot (like [finally!] the cover of my book and some thoughts about the experience writing it, a little video i am working on, a collaboration or two, and a few other things). luckily, susannah is all about no rules (you should join in on the fun too!).

while the little one sleeps or entrances her daddy with her smiles, i have been working on some more jewelry for the shop. i am really loving the longer locket necklaces and the new soul mantra designs and have made a few for myself. a bit like betty in the above photo, i have been inspired to layer them with other soul mantra necklaces and a few others i have (especially my favs from jen, kelly, and the black spot books). new items listed can be found over here. if you are interested in a custom locket, just contact me through an etsy conversation or email (the email page is in the sidebar of this blog).

and here are a few links to things catching my eye:

maya's on the road with ten-line tuesday kickstarter project

viv's tease about her upcoming project

jen lee's poem "held." (each time i read it, i read it aloud. each time i read it, i cry. next week, i am taking it with me to the oregon coast and will add it to my pocket of poems i am collecting for my early morning walks on the beach.) oh and jen's new merch page pretty much = awesome.

really enjoying notes from the edge (a new to me blog)

this delightful blog of mila's daydreams (this link fluttered around twitter last week and made me smile)

playing along at exquisite corpse was all kinds of fun last week (thanks kristen! this project simply rocks.)

teuxdeux.com (thank you jenna...this just might save my sanity)

and since i just ordered this (and this) as my "the book is really done!" gift to myself, i am more than a little excited about dar's photography ecourse.

the faces of ellie jane (july 30)

(some scenes from our evening in this corner of the world. wish you could hear the cooing. it. makes. my. heart. smile.)

what is real (today)

 

friendship

love

understanding

a hand to grasp in the darkness

(this is today)

*****

i have begun taking a daily ::what is real:: mirror photo.

the series started the first night that we slept for a few hours at the tree house while ellie was in the PICU. in a few minutes of quiet when i was by myself in that room, i had this urge to document the real face of this new journey. in some ways, i wanted to feel seen by someone, and it turned out that being seen by myself was like a hand i could hold over those next few days. 

i have continued to seek what is real in a moment each day. before i take the photo, i think about what is real in this moment and let my face relax to wherever that truth lies. then i snap.

i am documenting the photos over on flickr but will share them here from time to time.

abloom.

 

(snippets of summer through my lens)

abloom

(adjective, abounding with blooms)

the bursting with pink patchwork quilt sits beneath her crossed legs

as she creates a crown of queen anne's lace

with each twist and turn of the stem,

she smells her still sticky from watermelon juice fingers

hears the insistent jingle of the ice cream man's truck, two streets away,

and feels the sun's cocooning warmth

finished, she places the crown upon her head, stands,

and slowly, she begins to spin

the fuschia, purple, orange of the dahlias and snapdragons blur

one foot races the other as she circles

stopping suddenly, she crosses her feet at the ankles, and in one movement,

she lands on the blanket with a grin

sipping lemonade from her thermos,

a poetry reading for one begins

as she recites the words of billy collins, marge piercy, and may sarton

(mapping them into her heart)

when it is almost too much

the words, the scents, the truths

the invitation to own all of it

she walks to the roses

curtsies

and breathes in each petal

*****

introducing seasons 
(a new necklace series in the shop)

in my corner of the world, people often joke that we have two seasons: rain and "july and august." but i don't feel that way. i think the colors in this corner of the world are magic. spring begins her dance in february when the crocus inches toward the sky. when summer arrives, the dahlias are standing so proud, you can't help but breathe a little deeper when you come across their brilliant swaying stalks. fall brings leaves that sparkle as the rain sprinkles upon them. and winter brings a green that hints (even with its grey companion in the sky) that spring will return. the seasons sometimes tumble awkwardly from one to the next as they forget the calendar's invitation to arrive, instead finding their own path. capturing them through my lens provides me with moments to sit in the quiet and remember...

each season, i am creating a limited edition necklace that honors the colors, smells, textures of that season. the necklace is paired with a poem and a word (the poem's title) that shares a sliver of one moment in that season.

today, i am introducing abloom: a necklace inspired by a romantic afternoon for one filled with words and colors and juicy moments and the reminder to soak up every second of its beauty.

 

you can find abloom in my etsy shop, and it will be available for the rest of the summer.

in this moment {i know}

in this moment, i know that standing inside friendship can bring me right back to me.

(thank you)