Blog
thank you.
liz lamoreux
a few delightful, kind, creative, spirited souls have awarded me with the "you make my day" award that has been floating around blog world for a few weeks now.
thank you.
today, i invite you over for tea and lemon cupcakes.
i invite you, yes, you sitting there still in your pajamas
and you wearing your long dark hair in two braids
and you taking a break from painting and taking photos and creating
and you warming up from fun in the snow with your children
and you curled up with your puppy beside you
and you drinking mint tea
and you laughing out loud
and you awake after everyone else is asleep
and you singing softly with bill withers
and you pursing your lips
and you rolling your eyes
and you fingering the hem of your favorite yellow t-shirt
and you looking out the window at the mountains before you
and you living to the south enjoying the smell of fresh flowers
and you living north underneath three quilts in your flannel nightgown
and you on the other coast making this year the year
and you across the ocean sitting quietly and hoping
and you across the other sea changing the world
and you sitting in the sunshine of summer
and you wearing your grey fingerless mitts trying to stay warm
and you doing the best you can
and you wishing for change
and you feeling lonely
and you filled with regret
and you sitting in the quiet
and you tuning out the loudness of joy around you
and you full of peace
and you, yes, you reading these words…
please join me for tea…
because you, yes, you…
you make my day
full
of
all
that
is
good
(thank you)
love,
me
today...a shift...a smile {self-portrait challenge}
liz lamoreux
Sitting in the dentist office waiting room today, I started writing a blog post in my journal that was full of some of the thoughts swirling around my head lately. Thoughts about how one balances the good and the shit and how hard it is to rest in the midst of all that life throws one's way in any given moment, day, week, year. Since early November I have been to the dentist more times that I can keep track up. The days prior to a dentist appointment are filled with tummy problems and nervousness and dread. At my second appointment, the one where you sit there after your cleaning and the dentist and the assistant talk about your teeth in a language you do not know as though you are not there and write down all the problems you…your teeth…have…at that appointment, I burst into tears. So overwhelmed by all of it. Full of such shame and sadness and a little anger. And, as I explained why I was crying: not because of fear of the dental appointments to come or the tools or the drilling…no, I said, I am crying because I feel such shame that my teeth are like this.
(And in that moment, in my head I was saying…I feel such shame because I smile so big and can't help it but I know that when I smile people can see the discoloration on my teeth. I feel such shame because of all the reasons that are no ones fault yet kind of everyone's fault that brought me to this moment in this chair with these tears. I feel such shame because there is no way we can pay for all of this. I feel such shame because I never told anyone how it felt that day I got my braces off and there was all that damage. I feel such shame because I am 31 and crying at the dentist's office. I feel such shame…)
There was so much I did not say. But, as I tried to breathe to avoid the threatening ugly cry, this new dentist said something...well...something pretty magical, "I think the self-abuse about this should stop today. You are here now. And, we are going to fix it."
So I brought Jeero the uglydoll to the next appointment and sat there for over three hours. And, the next appointment, which was an emergency appointment, I didn't bring Jeero, but I did have my playlist that soothed me while I experienced the joy that is an unexpected root canal. And, I went to the next appointment, and then to the one where the million-dollar crown was put on a tooth, and then to the next appointment where I listened to Steve Martin read his new book and sat for another three hours, and then to today's appointment…
Today.
Even though my head aches from the drilling and my gums are sore from the shots and my sinuses seem to have been a bit affected by all the numbness and all that is a dental appointment, I walked out of the dentist office with a smile on my face. I walked out into the raining sleet that is washing away the snow and felt light.
Today was the day he worked on my front teeth. My front four teeth look so good. They look good for the first time since…well…a long, long time. I feel such joy about it that the tears that fall as I type this are from joy, not shame. It is a good day…
And that one tooth…the one that was so damaged from my braces…the tooth that felt like a mark of shame. It is shining.
It is a good day.
And, yes, I do plan to write about some of the deeper stuff swirling around at some point. But, today, I just want to celebrate letting go of the shame.
Today, I just want to smile.
(see what else people are celebrating over at self-portrait challenge)
it is a day...
liz lamoreux
As I sit, curled up on the sofa working, I notice the heavy, wet snow plopping onto the roof.
Plop
Thud
Plop
Earlier, I spent a few minutes outside soaking up the sight of this staple from my childhood that rarely visits here. The beauty covers the ground with all the purity that is solid white. The usually tall plants and trees bend beneath the weight of white. The birds flit seeking food that equals warmth; their feet and beaks push aside the stacked up flakes.
It is a day to notice. A day not to let work overwhelm or the mess that is our home overwhelm or the little tugs at wishing things were sometimes different overwhelm.
It is a day to notice the joy that is Millie's determination to sniff every inch of the backyard as she explores all this wet whiteness.
It is a day to sit inside and drink hot cocoa and eat a cupcake and just sit in the quiet and enjoy a little break and notice. Notice feelings and quiet and me.
It is a day to curl up with a patchwork quilt and soft mary jane slipper socks and a cozy sweater; a day to notice the blessing that is being warm.
It is a day to light a candle in the hope for peace and healing for so many.
It is a day to notice the blessings and the bliss.
It is a day to sit in the quiet and breathe and hope.
It is a day to breathe in and notice the feelings, so that when the rain comes and washes it is away, the bliss and the blessings will not be forgotten.
aprons and photos and sun and freezing coldness
liz lamoreux
taking apron photos outside.
freezing.
modeling my current favorite natasha apron just for fun.
wearing my husband's hat out of need.
yep.
this is me.
(what are you up to?)
five (really) good things
liz lamoreux
finding a jar of vintage buttons shaped like flowers while stopping at an antique mall i spotted when driving home from portland (especially finding pink vintage buttons that look like flowers...my favorite...though the yellow one above is perfection in vintage button world...at least to me...and that green one is pretty fantastic...and the light blue one is...oh i just love them all).
sitting on the couch with millie curled up against me keeping me warm.
twirling around the house after receiving some exciting news.
continuing to fill up my soul with the blue sky and sunshine we have had for four days in a row.
allowing myself to sit in the quiet and dream about all that the future holds, then taking a deep breath a deciding to just jump in. right now.
please share your five (really) good things.
i dare you.
the only clouds around...{self-portrait challenge}
liz lamoreux
today, the only clouds that i could see were the ones on my pajamas
blue sky
outside
and inside (me)
celebrating feeling the sun
outside
and inside (me)
breathing in brightness
breathing out hope
today, i feel the joyful reverberations of a slumber party of a weekend full of friendship, laughter, solving a few problems, brainstorming, creating, consuming two super-good snacks here, visits here and here, new jewels, and then an unexpected extra day of time with my brother (and getting to play "i live all by myself in a loft in the pearl" for a few hours).
a weekend that was the deep breath i needed
breathe in blue sky
breathe out compassion
feel the sun inside (me)
(see more self-portrait celebrations here)
planning, listening, and doing some laundry
liz lamoreux
{planning}
i was looking through some photos on my computer and came across this one of fall in point defiance park and thought it looked like the perfect spot for a picnic. want to join me? wouldn't a big blogger picnic, like a family reunion but without the baggage, be wonderful?!
my mouth has been watering as i read each of the recipes and recommendations you all have been sharing here. i hope you will continue to add other recipes or tips as you think of them. and, i will be sure to report on how things go in the kitchen. i can't wait.
{listening}
the almost like a two-hour lullaby to the self when singing along with these folks playlist
Play Me sung by Neil Diamond
Painting By Chagall sung by The Weepies
Few Days Down sung by Mandy Moore
That's Me sung by Paul Simon
Walking In Memphis sung by Marc Cohn
Magic sung by Bruce Springsteen
Winding Road sung by Bonnie Somerville
Stay sung by Alison Krauss
Wintersong sung by Sarah McLachlan
America sung by Simon & Garfunkel
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You sung by Colin Hay
Saturn's Light sung by Deb Talan
Songbird sung by Fleetwood Mac
Today sung by Joshua Radin
Caravanserai sung by Loreena McKennitt
milkweed sigh sung by stephanie dosen
All Good Things sung by Mandy Moore
On a Day When the Wind Is Perfect sung by David Wilcox
Let Me Touch You for Awhile sung by Alison Krauss & Union Station
Another Galaxy sung by Paul Simon
World Spins Madly On sung by The Weepies
Breathe Me sung by Sia
The Light Is Always Green sung by The Housemartins
Closer sung by Joshua Radin
This Is Neverland by Jan A.P. Kaczmarek
Forgiven sung by Deb Talan
Virginia Woolf sung by Indigo Girls
My Traveling Star sung by James Taylor
You Decorated My Life sung by Kenny Rogers
Help Me Make It Through The Night sung by Willie Nelson
Only The Lonely sung by Martha Davis/The Motels*
{doing some laundry}
tomorrow i head to portland for the weekend. can't wait! tonight i'm quickly looking through these photos trying to decide what to pack after the laundry is all done...
*the version from the album Clean Modern and Reasonable (you can download it at iTunes for less than the amazon import price). the whole album is pretty fantastic…and I’m only slightly biased because my brother co-produced, recorded, mixed it and played drums and acoustic guitar on it.