Items said aloud (or in my head) in the last three hours

Holy crappoly¹, I forgot to post my swap²!

Me: Did they blow it up on purpose?
J: (insert annoyed laughter) Honey, I've never seen this³.

Only a dog would seem like she is going to be sick but still sniff for food. (pause) Though, her nose is…nosier, so I guess I have no idea what it's like to be her.⁴

Even the devil will use the truth if it's convenient.⁵

It takes a special sense of things to be so damn funny. I love Neil.⁶

I have this theory that the more important and intimate the emotion, the fewer words are required to express it. For instance, in dating, "Will you go out with me?" Six words…"You matter to me." Four words. "I love you." Three words. "Marry me." Two words. But, what's left? What's the one most important and intimate word you can ever say to somebody? It's "good-bye."⁷

¹My new favorite phrase
²Earlier this week I received my awesome swap package from Stephanie in Karen Beth's happiness swap. It deserves its own post, so please stay tuned.
³A new Babylon 5 movie came in the mail. And new means it was actually filmed recently and sent straight to video for all the fans (like my sci-fi lovin' husband…and…ahem…me).
⁴Well, I don't know what it is like to be her. Maybe Millie's nosier nose is part of the reason why she is the way she is.
⁵This is my new favorite devil quote. It was said by a character in the Babylon 5 movie. Second favorite is still, of course, Deb Talan with this line "The devil he wore such a fine, fine shirt, and it stayed so clean while he dragged me through the dirt."
⁶See this.
⁷Said by Joe Straczynski (the creator, writer, director) during the extras for Babylon 5: The Lost Tales. (Thank you for these words.)

a backyard break

i took a moment to walk around my backyard today...

i took the time:

to take in the color

and breathe

and really see

and listen

and open my eyes to the unexpected*

and notice the tiny

and drink up the beauty

*does anyone know what this fruit is? we have had this little tree that i thought was a form of forsythia since we moved in. it grows a little out of control so i guess i pruned it a bit too much the first winter and it didn't have any fruit on it until this year. apricots perhaps? sky, i bet you know what it is...and maureen, maybe you know...

morning break {self-portrait challenge}

when i took this picture yesterday, i planned to write about how i am taking a bit of time each morning to drink my tea and walk around the yard to see what is growing, what needs watering, how the hydrangea blooms are doing, and so on. just like my grandmother would do every morning. what she would try to get me to do wtih her when i would visit. it was really nice to do this yesterday. i felt close to her but i also took a minute to just breathe.

but, i didn't do it again today. i didn't walk around the yard with my tea to see what is growing. it didn't even cross my mind to do it.

my current feelings seem to be frazzled, stressed, overwhelmed, annoyed, hurt...the list goes on and on. and it seems that when i most feel this way, i lose sight of the things that would invite me to feel better. i forget i have my own toolbox of how to heal myself.

that is how it goes.
i just keep doing the best i can.
even when the best i can doesn't seem all that great.
i just keep going.
i just keep listening for the little whispers from something greater than me.
i just keep remembering how to love.

and i try again tomorrow.

****

updated in 2011: Self-Portrait Challenge (SPC) was a website that encouraged people to take and share self-portraits. I am sad to report that it no longer has an active website, so I have removed links that appeared in the posts connected to my participation in this project.

"Fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures, now, as they fly through the air."

i am up way too late for many reasons. life reasons i suppose.

but, because i am and because i happened to have the tv on, even though it was muted, but because i happened to have it on CBS, i was given the gift of a little segment about tom snyder on the late late show as it signed off tonight.

i used to watch him in college when i lived alone in my little apartment. i would stay up way too late and study or read or talk on the phone, and then i would curl up on the couch with daniel the cat and watch tom snyder interview someone in his smart and funny way. i loved how it was just him and the guest and the audience consisting of the crew and the producer. when someone said something funny, you would sometimes hear the cameraman crack up.

even though i might have been one of the only 20 year olds watching him, tom snyder invited me to feel just a little less lonely in the middle of the night.

i think it was because he would talk right to the screen, right to the audience through the television during the first few minutes of the show. just like mr. rogers. yes, i think that must have been why i felt such a kinship with him. he was my college-years version of mr. rogers.

he died sunday.

many blessings to him and those he left behind.

a photo, a tag

Andrea issued a photography challenge today: Photograph someone in a glass of water.

Well, Millie does not like it when things block my face - like a glass or the camera - but I finally captured her here:

(And, in case you need a reminder of how super cute she is when she isn't behind glass, click here to see another photo I snapped of her today.)

A couple of weeks ago, Pepek tagged me with the "eight random things" tag and then Kelly Rae tagged me with the same one earlier this month, so I am finally getting around to sharing some answers:

1) I really love the Little House on the Prairie era in books and movies. When I was in grade school, I read all of Janette Oak's Love Comes Softly series and I still read them all every five years or so. I also loved the Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea movies that were on PBS when I was younger. I used to pretend I lived in the "olden days" when I would bake cookies and wear aprons and my long prairie skirts. I spent a lot of time alone and I pretended this for a long time…until I was older than I care to admit. I started thinking about this again because I stumbled upon a huge stash of calico and floral prints at our local thrift shop and bought all of it for $15. There is a lot, I mean a lot, of fabric in this stash. I have been thinking about making some Anne of Green Gables/Little House on the Prairie inspired aprons.

2) I tend to stay in my pajamas for most of the day. I suppose I have mentioned this several times before, but I love that I can do this. You see, I used to say that my ideal job would be one where I didn't have to ever wear a suit or dress shoes or nylons and I could wear pajamas. I even dreamed of opening up a store that sells pajamas, called pj bottoms (and tops), where all the employees would be required to wear pajamas. How great would that be? Well, I pretty much get to wear pajamas all the time. It is fantastic.

3) Often when I am leading one of my yoga classes in meditation, I begin to feel as though I am just my voice and my body is no longer there.

4) When I was eleven or so, I thought that Joe Fredrick, a Notre Dame basketball player, was going to see me in the crowd after a game and find me so beautiful that he would wait for me to get older so we could date. Yep. When my girlfriends at the time were in love with the boys on the cover of Tiger Beat, I was obsessed with the boys of the Notre Dame basketball team. I knew all their birthdays and middle names and heights and on and on. The funny thing is that later when I was much older (aka, a teenager), I would roll my eyes at myself and my obsession with someone so much older than me, and little did I know when I was rolling those eyes that I would marry someone the same age as Joe Fredrick.

5) I don't miss much about Indiana (where I lived for most of my life until we moved out here). When people ask me what I miss, I have a really hard time coming up with something. I don't think is because there is anything wrong with Indiana. The people are wonderful there. I think it is more because I love living out here in the Pacific Northwest. It is home. (I do miss driving past the ever-growing corn fields in the summer. Yes. I miss that gorgeous green color.)

6) Sometimes looking at all the amazing craftsy+artsy blogs out there invites me to feel overwhelmed as though I could suffocate in all that I am lacking. I am learning to let go of the need to compare (learning being the key word here).

7) I was never really much a dog person. I liked dogs but tended to be overwhelmed by some of them. A little over six years ago, there was a golden retriever lost on campus when I worked at the boarding school, and I took it home in the hopes of finding its owners. I fell in love with that dog. A few days later, his owners did find him, and I was heartbroken. At that moment, I decided I wanted to rescue a golden and within a few weeks, I was off to Tennessee to rescue Traveler. Now, I can't imagine our house without the little patter of puppy toes (and by puppy, I mean "adult housetrained overall mellow dog"). Jon and I are pretty much dog people and when we are out and about, we are often on "pooch patrol" as we look for dogs who are out with their people.

8) I love tap dancing. When I see it on TV, I just want to get up and start tapping away. I have been known, if wearing certain shoes and on a certain type of floor, to just suddenly start tap dancing without even noticing I am doing it. I took tap from first to eighth grade. I loved it. And, I think about taking lessons again…or at least buying some tap shoes and tapping away in the garage.

(If you haven't done this tag yet, and want to share some random facts about yourself, please tag yourself and let me know...and I want to know those details!)

inspirations, july 30

mugs of numi's monkey king jasmine green tea

the current issue of artful blogging

a.t. whim's red cloud herb print

whirling dervish's 10 lies post

the integrity of tom snyder's interviewing style

the twinkling, tinking sounds of wind chimes in the breeze

judy's most recent art journal pages

an affirmation.

my story matters.

(so does yours.)

thank you magpie girl, jen, and krystyn for reminding me of this. even though i couldn't be in chicago, your words resonate deeply.

your true self. a meditation.

Pause for a moment and take a few deep breaths.
Notice your breath until you feel as though you are only the inhalations and exhalations.

Then, find your center.
Notice it.
Let your next inhalation begin at this center.

As you breathe, describe your center to yourself. Notice where it is and what it feels connected to and from.

Imagine that this center is your true self.

Allow yourself to notice and sit with whatever comes up for you.

*****

My center is in the middle of my chest, at the core of my heart, in between my breasts. As I breathe deeply, I feel like this center connects me to the earth and the sky to all that lives and all that has passed on before me. This center feels like my lifeline to knowledge and truth and hope and grace. My truest self lives here.

It is: My soul's home.