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peaches, poetry, and escaping to the air conditioning

liz lamoreux

We have escaped to the air-conditioned Mandolin Café to beat the heat. Our house, since the neighbors cut down the beloved tree that shaded our home, is warmer than warm. It's the kind of hot where all you want to do is just get naked and stretch out on your bed with the fan blowing right on you.

The bartender here is singing a song about how "if you don't have an air conditioner you're not the man for me." Oh yes. How I love that. It is pretty funny. I love our neighborhood café where you can be working away on your laptop and then suddenly the bartender starts singing a cappella (microphone and all, of course).

We are consuming ginger peach tea to cool off. I thought Washington peaches were in season, so we went to our favorite grocery store to get a few, but it turns out that the special Frog Hollow peaches are not yet in season. I was craving them a tiny bit. I had to settle for two huge not-yet-ripe California peaches and the anticipation.

I had a moment earlier today that reminded me about the peaches this time of year. I want to turn this moment into a poem, but right now, I just have some thoughts and words put together…poem notes I suppose.

***

I kept the phone messages for months. The call from your daughter, Don't panic, but she's in the hospital. Your husband, She's doing better. It's gonna be okay. I listened to them daily for weeks. She was alive. I didn't mean to lose them. But one week I just forgot to hit 2 to keep them for 14 more days. Today, I opened the freezer and paused soaking in the cold, wishing I could escape the surprising northwest humidity. I noticed the peaches July 2004, Frog Hollow propped in the door shelf. That first year we lived here; I wanted to be able eat them in December, so you explained, Quickly drop them in boiling water. Take them out and peel. Slice and put them in a mixture of sugar and that stuff you can buy to stop them from turning brown. Yes, yes. You will find it at your store. The aisle where you get the Sure-Gel. You will find it. Follow the directions on the box. Then, pour them right into Ziplocs.

I realized I had not really thought about you for a few days. The thoughts to call you and then the remembering, it doesn't happen as often. I am forgetting. Time is subtle and pushes me forward without you. This makes my heart ache tonight. It hasn't hurt for months, but I want to dial, hear your voice, and ask you how to freeze the raspberries. Yes, yes, I know how. But, I just want to call all the same.

I do what I have to do to keep breathing. Three years and two power outages is too long to live in the freezer. She was alive. I do what I need to do to wade through it.

***

visit poetry thursday to dive into more poetry

an earth mermaid {self-portrait challenge}

liz lamoreux

earth mermaid

I am an earth person. I like the ground. I like to feel my feet on the earth. I live my life that way most of the time. My feet to the earth and my head grounded.

But, I often wish to be a mermaid, able to swim with the humpbacks and play with the sea otters. I want to float on my back with my hair splayed out around me like a crown. I want to dive into the depths of a lake and look for lost shoes and glasses. I wish that I could talk with the dolphins and ask sea stars questions. I want to peek my head up and take a breath and dive under the ocean once again. I want to giggle at snorkelers who wish they had fins like me. I dream of telling the clown fish about the movie they star in. I want to see a mother humpback nudge her baby up for air. I want to swim across one ocean until I reach another. I want to marvel at the colors of all the creatures I do not yet know.

But, I am an earth person.

I wish that I was not afraid of deep water and that I didn't try to inhale whenever my head goes under. I wish that instead of wanting to go kayaking in Puget Sound but knowing I never will, I would feel safe enough to paddle my way through the fear. I wish that I didn't have to usually say, "no you guys go ahead" when it comes to water activities. I wish that I did not feel odd wanting to wear a snorkel mask so that I could swim in deep water or at the ocean because I can swim I just can't go under water without trying to breathe if my nose isn't plugged. I wish to swim like a mermaid with only wonder and little fear.

For now, though, I guess I am an earth mermaid who lives with her feet on the ground but dreams of all that might be.

(see more interpretations of the elements at self-portrait challenge)

the (small but important) quest continues and spending time in the goodness

liz lamoreux

a new haircut and a superb strawberry italian soda

this is the summer of my small but important quest to discover the best italian sodas in my town.

after my haircut this morning, i drove through william patrick's coffee and ordered a strawberry italian soda (with whipped cream, of course). the secret, i have discovered so far, is that the barista must stir the soda. which she did. (thank you.) starbucks did not make my day on saturday when i ordered a raspberry italian soda only to have all the syrup sit at the bottom of the cup.

my first lesson learned on the quest. i know that i must ask for them to stir it if they do not.

another treat we have been enjoying lately is vanilla ice cream with raspberries and marionberries (or any other kind) with a little chocolate syrup. our friends who moved here from indiana last month shared this treat with us friday night when we had dinner with them in their new home. spending time with them was, well, splendid really. i cannot believe that they really moved here. wow. wow. wow. it is simply fantastic. two of my favorite people in all the world.

it was a nice opposite of the previous day when the phone rang and my husband's voice said, "i am okay, but…i have been in an accident." i think i lived a short eternity between the words "but…i" i had no idea what he was going to say. this summer, he is commuting to teach at a community college and he is in rush-hour traffic on the way home. he was the third car in a three-car accident and the other cars were totaled; ours needs significant work and who knows if it might be totaled even though we can still drive it.

as i waited for him to get home, my mind raced to all the "what ifs?" and what i would do if something horrible had happened. i felt so grateful that he is okay but also felt very in touch with how easily it could have gone the other way. how the voice on the other end of the line could have been someone else letting me know that my husband had been in an accident.

since then, we have spent quite a bit of time together just enjoying the summer and one another. my favorite moments are when he sits in my little room and reads while i sew and we listen to music or this american life. in those moments, i count my blessings and own how lucky i am as I live in my little house and live my little life.

(note to self: this recent consumption of all these treats might be why those army green pants felt a bit tight earlier today. hmmm...must balance this with veggies.)

on politics and patchwork

liz lamoreux

On July 4, Jon and I spent quite a few hours inside, still in our pajamas, watching The History Channel. They had a day-long marathon of the show Revolution. I came in, sleep still in my eyes, at about the time of the Boston Massacre (which really wasn't quite the massacre I had been lead to believe it was with each U.S. history book I have read). Over the next couple of hours, I must have said five times, "That John Adams is so smart. Crap. Why can't someone like him make decisions now?" We watched several episodes and took a break around the time Ben Franklin was becoming the "toast of France" as he was trying to persuade their King to help the thirteen colonies with the war.

After showering and working for a couple of hours, we tuned back in. Washington, who I learned was more than a little confused about his stand on slavery while at the same time having a black man for a best friend and having one of the clearest, most open minds of the time, was starting to hone in on a possible final victory. I must admit I was a bit surprised that the war was still going on several hours later seeing as though it takes us about a week or two to get through it in most U.S. History classes. As we watched the Founding Fathers create the Constitution, I heard a bee in my bonnet begin to buzz as I realized something that I suppose I already knew but hadn't honestly spent a lot of time thinking about: These men completely realized that they were "passing the buck" on the "slavery issue" on to the next generation (and as we know, the many, many, many after that one). These incredibly intelligent men who had said to the most powerful country in the world at the time, "Thanks for being here and helping us but we are so over your help now and just want to do our own thing." These men just passed the issue on. I was more than a bit pissed off about it.

Jon and I talked about how we had all these "aha" moments while watching these episodes of this pretty incredible show. My husband is someone who retains a lot and always seems to know the little facts about things (not to mention, he is the smartest person I know). He can read and watch things and remember the details. He is also someone who loves to learn and watches The History Channel and The Science Channel and all those others quite often. This is to say that the fact that he had aha moments during this show means that there is A LOT that people do not know about the American Revolution. In the way that I sometimes do, I started asking questions that I know he doesn't have answers to…like…"do you think George Bush knows anything about this? Do you think he knows anything about our country's history? Do you think he understands one bit about this? Do you think his staff looks at the Constitution?" Of course, Jon does not have these answers and usually said, "Sweetie, I don’t know." He doesn't often get angry in the way that I do. He stays a bit more even about it all. (I would have been the one burning my bra and he would have been the one picking me up from the police station with food for me to eat. The quiet supporter doing his part.)

Yesterday, I spent a lot of the day cutting and then sewing together pieces of patchwork. I am working with a "log cabin" patchwork design right now. And, I guess I spent so much time with it late into the night that my mind couldn't let it go. I dreamed about it. But, my dream wasn't about me doing patchwork. Nope. My dream was something along these lines: There was an entire room of politicians each attempting to figure out log cabin patchwork. To be honest, I don't remember what happened next. I am careful not to assume that if you couldn't figure it out, you were "out of there" because even though it is a bit of a puzzle and if you have fabric running a certain direction that you want "upright" or "sideways," you have to sew things together very specifically, it might be that the GWB's out there would have an easier time than the greatest political minds in history. Hard to know. (This is why I should have written it down when I woke up and shook my head trying to clear the "Tetris-like" patterns so I could go back to sleep.)

Imagine if we could just have a room where all the politicians would have to take a test? Maybe morality tests or tests of virtue would be one way to go. Heck, maybe the best way to decide who should remain in "power" would be to simply test on the Constitution: What it says a President can and cannot do. What the Supreme Court has ruled about this. Maybe we could add a few questions like: The thirteen colonies wanted their independence because a) they wanted to tax coffee instead of tea and those darn Brits wouldn't let them import coffee, b) Britain was becoming too liberal for them and they wanted to make sure they could still have a monarchy, c) they were distressed that the British military would wear only red coats and simply wanted the fashion of the time to change, or d) they wanted a voice in their own government and wanted representation if they were to be taxed.

A follow-up question could ask if the test taker thought that the Founding Fathers experiment should be scrapped in exchange for "all the government/political power" to be moved into the Executive Branch. Anyone who answered yes would have a door suddenly open underneath his or her chair and we would instantly know they were a Cylon. They would be immediately replaced with someone whose ideals most matched those of John Adams or even that "tomcat" Benjamin Franklin. We would no longer have to put up with politicians who think they are kings. Nope. Republican or Democrat. This test would weed out those seeking a shift into the new twenty-first century American Monarchy Experiment.

(Big deep breath.)

I could, of course, keep going here. But, as you know, this isn’t a political blog. No. It is more of a meditation meets crafty meets poetry meets being honest about my hiccups on my journey type of blog. But, last week, after reading a few articles on CNN.com after Bush commuted Libby's sentence; after walking down the hall to where Jon was working on more than one occasion to express my one sentence essays about my feelings about our President and then whirling around to go back to my little room; after spending several hours with the Founding Fathers and wishing we had anyone, ANYONE, who could stand up and be heard and be rallied behind like those men in the days before the Revolution, I find I have to speak up a bit.

Where are those people? The ones who will stand up and be heard? The ones who will write Common Sense and speak their truth.

I read one today. (This is the article that was the impetus to get these fingers typing all these words this morning. I read it in its entirety for the first time this morning.) Bravo to you Mr. Olbermann. I don't usually like those shows where people do all that yelling. In fact, I avoid them. But you sir, yes, you deserve a standing ovation. (Thank you for shouting.)

As I write this, I have to go back to the Founding Fathers' decision to "not deal with" the "slavery issue" when they believed that all men are created equal…but they didn't want to "deal with" the southern states who would not join the union if the "slavery issue" was dealt with. By passing the buck, they, in many ways, created the Civil War. I recognize that we cannot know what would have happened with this newborn country if men like John Adams, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson had decided to address it. However, what does it mean to consciously pass something this huge onto the next generations?

I can't help but wonder if Bush thinks about these things when he and Rove and Cheney make the decisions they do that affect many generations to come, perhaps more than they affect us now.

I can't help but wonder if they think about the ramifications of their choices at all.

(Another deep breath. I will now resume my quest to send compassion and bring these people to my altar. I will try. I will try.)

color week: yellow and orange (or: join me for lunch?)

liz lamoreux

i imagine that you have joined me for lunch today...

this is what we are having:

lunch july 5

cherries

strawberry creme

(so since there are no rules with color week, i am kind of blending the first four days of colors with my lunch today)

a little quest:
jon has been drinking italian sodas for years, but i tend to always get coffee when we go to cafes (iced mochas in the summer). but, when we were in oregon, i tried this raspberry italian soda with cream. oh my goodness. the flavor took me right back to when i was a kid and we would go to marco island, fl (before my little brother was born) and we would walk down the beach, me and my mom and my dad, and then walk on to this frozen yogurt place. now, this was back when we didn't have frozen yogurt chains and it was pretty new. i loved that frozen yogurt. i think i also loved the time spent with my parents there, out in the sun just the three of us (and then my brother later). over the years, i have always searched for a similar flavor, but never have found it. until now.

i am on a small but important quest to try italian sodas and other cream drinks at some of my favorite cafes this summer.

today, i found that the strawberry blended creme drink at starbucks is pretty darn close to that flavor from my past.

what is new with you? have you been undertaking any quests of your own lately?

a week of color: green {and SPC}

liz lamoreux

continuing with color week and bringing in the earth for self-portrait challenge.

i have always felt drawn to the earth element. i believe this is because i constantly seek that feeling of being grounded.

green earth

the earth, literally and spiritually, grounds me.

and green is a color of summer. the plants that grow and bend and bloom in our backyard are a true color pallete of green. right now, i think of the hydrangeas as being green ready to burst into purple, blue, and pink...

hydrangea green

hydrangea green wishing purple

over the past few months, a part of me seems to be calling green into my life. some traditions say that green in the color of the heart chakra. i remember that the day i saw my grandmother after she died, i felt as though my heart was broken, and afterwards, i could easily and quickly tap into that physical feeling when i thought of her, when my mind and heart were lost in the grief. about a year later, i think my calling to green began. when my mom and i went to sedona in february, one of my spa treatments was called the soul seeker. the woman who did the treatment worked on releasing past pain in my throat and my heart. since that day, my heart has not hurt. i still grieve, but i do not feel the sharp, physical, breath-catching pain in my heart. since then, i find myself drawn to green jewelry and clothing; perhaps they are talismans to remind me to let my heart breathe and open.

*****

updated in 2011: Self-Portrait Challenge (SPC) was a website that encouraged people to take and share self-portraits. I am sad to report that it no longer has an active website, so I have removed links that appeared in the posts connected to my participation in this project.

inspirations: july 2, 2007

liz lamoreux

this creation by miss "happy girl" kelly
the song "i hope" by the dixie chicks
the africa issue of vanity fair
this post at rebecca sower's blog
the crafter's companion by anna torborg
all these aprons!

(i have added a frequently updated "inspirations" list in my sidebar. i want to archive it, so when i take one down, i am going to add a post on the day it was added. might seem odd, but blogger doesn't let you have pages, so this is how i am going to do it. at least for now. just wanted to explain why these past posts are going to appear like this one.)