versions of this list have been rolling around my brain for weeks now, so i thought i would just get it down...because sometimes (not all the time but sometimes) self-care can be in the form of a date in front of the television and i'm not afraid to say it.
why i watch "grey's anatomy"
because it helps me grieve some of the stuck stuff
because i remember walking through hospital corridors and imagining a force field of love around us
because a four-month-old heart really is that small
because talking about death is okay
because i am so thankful our teaching hospital experience didn't involve drama quite like that
because my baby lived (and yours didn't and i think about that too. often.)
because life and death really are part of our everyday (even though that scares us)
because Patrick Dempsey is even better looking than when the series began
because I love the music
because the voice over at the beginning and end gets me every single time
because my birth experience was more traumatic than some of the storylines and it helps me to know I'm not crazy to be feeling all that I feel
because it really is okay to grieve the parts when things weren't okay even if they are mostly okay now
because sometimes fiction gives our brain and heart just the space they need to be still enough to notice the feelings underneath