When Jon and I visited Manzanita this spring, I spent some time on the beach by myself and decided to simply film myself walking on the sand toward the ocean (inspired by Jen Gray's walking videos). While I was walking, Jon was taking photos from the deck of the house we were visiting, unbeknownst to me. I didn't know if I would use this footage, but as I was slowly walking toward the waves, I began to think about how coming to the water and breathing in the air invites me to feel grounded. And, it also invites me to feel a closeness with my grandmother. My family and I have spent a lot of time at the ocean, and I feel them surround me, the best of our times together fill me up, when I hear the waves crashing and feel sand underneath my feet.
As I stood staring at the sparkle atop the water, I thought about how even in the shadows of grief, of deeply missing my grandmother, there is light. I feel that light within, and when at the water, I am reminded of this truth. Then I remembered a poem I had written about why I come to the water, and the idea for this video was born.