oh this hat

Last week while in Portland for WDS, I was lucky enough to go on a Be Your Own Beloved photowalk with Vivienne McMaster and a group of lovely women.

I wore this hat because oh my gosh it was hot in Portland and I wanted to keep the sun off of my face.

And I wore it because when I put it on, I can't help but think, "This. Is. Fabulous."

Vivienne creates such safe space when she invites us into the world of being your own beloved. On this walk, she invited us to look for the love and gave us a few different prompts to play with. 

If you've been here for awhile, you know I'm pretty comfortable with self-portraits. I even wrote a book about them (though at the time, the publisher and I wanted to avoid the word "self-portraits" in the title because people weren't really comfortable with the idea yet...little did we know selfies were on the horizon). But even though I'm comfortable with turning the camera toward myself, I always need to return to the prompt of looking at myself with love. Viv's photowalk invited me to do that and my heart really needed it.

Playing with self-portraits and this big hat was a little bit of an adventure. It was almost like having another person in the photo with me because it takes up so much space. I snapped away and tried to really concentrate on playing with the light in the ways Viv had explained.

I LOVED the way the light took up all the space behind me in the photo above almost like I'm standing in front of a white background when in reality I was in the middle of courtyard with statues and people around me. Looking at it again today, I feel luminous. LUMINOUS. And determined. And perhaps a little mischievous. This is the gift of self-portraits and playing and finding the love. My eyes are sparkling and it isn't just those glitter glasses. I was feeling the joy of connecting with like-minded souls and the confidence that comes from saying, "Yep, I'm wearing a huge hat and glitter glasses and even in this heat that is melting me a bit, I choose fabulous."

I choose. 

I choose.

This confidence doesn't surface every day in quite this way. But when it does, snapping a photo becomes evidence that it does happen so I can return to the photo and go back into the memory so I can remember I will feel that way again.

And then I found this photo.

It was an accident. Meaning, I thought my eyes were in the photo. I didn't realize the hat was hiding them.

I stood apart from our group for a moment staring at my phone and this photo and these thoughts tumbled through my head, "Look at this woman with her soft lips and the slight curve of her smile. What is she thinking? There's an allure around her that seems to come from inside her that pulls me in. I want to know her. Really really know her."

This feels like the next step in my own self-portrait, inner excavation journey: Getting to know that alluring, sexy woman in that photo.

This is gonna be good...

Yes.

(and because i know i'll get emails: the hat is from old navy and my head is not small and the l/xl fits awesome and the hathead wasn't too bad, the glasses are dolce and gabbana [mine are from lenscrafters and here's another option if you want to buy online though it looks like they don't have the burgandy but other colors], and the necklace was a collaboration between kelly barton and me. we have a few left hiding in my studio, just contact me if you're interested.)

permission granted

A few weeks ago, I snapped this photo and shared it on Instagram with these words: Permission to "sit on the floor of the kitchen and drink a cider and read while lasagna cooks and your family watches videos of the cast of Frozen singing in the other room" granted.

Such a simple self-care move to help me find my way back to myself. 

And capturing this moment with my phone + writing down a few words becomes evidence of how I'm finding my way.

Your homework: Get into the picture this week + give yourself permission to take care of you.

Yes.

*****

In my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media, I gathered up many of my favorite ways to unearth pieces of our stories using the mediums of poetry, photography, and mixed media.

Through the prompts and examples in this book, you will be inspired to take photos of the everyday beauty around you (and even turn the camera on yourself), find the poet inside you, play with the art supplies you probably already have in your home, and take time to seek stillness in your daily life.

It's available right here in my shop.

senses. dahlia garden.

{smell}

{see}

{hear}

{taste}

{touch}

{and know}

where: Dahlia and Rose Gardens, Point Defiance Park
when: August 18, 2013

For several years now, I've been using my senses as a creative writing and photography prompt. They are my favorite creative tool because they are always available and they connect me to this present moment right here. Finding my senses through my camera lens (or through words) helps me get out of my head and often anchors me and reminds me to notice the beauty around me. I also use it as a meditation. And I always try to include a sixth sense of "know" that represents what I know in this moment. 

You can read more about this practice in my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media. 

See past posts about the senses here. If you join in with your own senses practice, I'd love to hear about it.

inner excavate-along begins tomorrow!

A quick reminder: The Inner Excavate-along begins tomorrow! You can find out all the details here.

In case you missd it, Effy Wild has put a call out to have others join her for a read along of Inner Excavation. Last year, I led a free seven-week read-along of my book, and the content has been available on my website ever since, but this will be your opportunity to join in and go through it with a group again. Effy's created an information page all about it on her site. And I've actually created a special blog for it here.

I'll be part of Effy's Facebook group and will be peeking in throughout the summer and can't wait to connect with you as you get into your Inner Excavation dig site.

You can buy an autographed copy of my book, complete with special note to you, in my shop here and I will get it out to you right away so you can join in!

seeking shadows

Over here, we've been playing with finding our shadow selves. Toward dinner time, the sun hits the front steps just right and really long, tall shadows appear.

It is awesome. Like "look at those shadow pigtails" awesome.

Ellie is super excited to look for her shadow whenever we are outside, and her physics teacher daddy is thrilled to talk to her about how and why shadows appear.

I just like to play with different poses and then try to capture them with my camera.

An Invitation

In my book Inner Excavation, we spend some time unearthing our shadows and finding our reflections in photography, poetry, and mixed-media self-portraits. Playing with our shadows can gently push us to notice where we are, it can ground us, and it can reveal pieces of ourselves that we've been ignoring or want to know more about.

Spend some time seeking your shadow self this week. Notice how it changes throughout the day depending on where the sun is. Maybe even write a poem about "what your shadow says." 

*****

I'm truly over-the-moon delighted that artist and beautiful soul Effy Wild has put a call out to have others join her for a read along of Inner Excavation through the Inner Excavate-along. Last year, I led a group through a free seven-week read-along of my book, and the content has been available on my website ever since. Now you can join a group in going through it this summer! 

The group is starting June 24 and you can find out all the details here. This would be a beautiful way to open yourself to creative connection this summer. Let me know if you join in! I'll be part of Effy's Facebook group and will be peeking in throughout the summer.

You can buy an autographed copy, complete with special note to you, in my shop here.

capturing this moment: where i stand

april 2013

A few months ago, I remember seeing a question float across Twitter that said something like, "Why this obessession with taking photos of our feet everywhere?"

I don't recall if I responded, but I know I wanted to say, "Because it helps me to really notice this moment and where I stand in my life."

This could be literal:

april 2010

Standing barefoot in the backyard for the first time in the spring while peeking over my 8-month pregnant belly.

Or much more abstract:

June 2012

Standing in the backyard after my two-year-old daughter handed me flowers she found in the midst of a really difficult day. Words I paired with this photo:

i am leaning into this life

(choose trust)

It helps me capture the feelings underneath:

taken in april 2009 in the front yard of my grandparents'
home after my grandfather died

petals
121 gerow avenue
just before leaving for the last time

It is another form of self-portraiture that helps me to find myself in the midst of all the roles I play, it creates space for me to connect with the ground beneath me, reminds me of where I am and where I've been and where I want to go.

In her book The Wisdom of No Escape, Pema Chodron talks about how we are "the ground" of our practice. These photos remind me of this too. 

Who I am, with all my beautiful, wacky, gorgeous, silly, realness, is where my practice begins. And pausing to notice where I stand, where I am right now in this moment, helps me to unearth that truth again and again.

An invitation

Over the next few days, find your feet beneath you and snap a self-portrait. Maybe put your bare feet in the grass for the first time this Spring. Take a walk and find flowers blooming or the snow that still insists on arriving or a feather and stand right next to it and capture that moment in your lens. Write the words you most need to remember on a sticky note, put it right down by your toes, and snap it. 

Find where you stand in this moment. 

And then come back here and tell me all about it. Leave a link in the comments to your photo or just let us know how the experience was for you. 

***

You can find more about this prompt and other juicy self-portrait prompts in my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media. I'm delighted to share that I'm selling copies again, this time at a special discounted price of $18. Read more about the book and order it from me right here. (I'll even sign it for you and include one of my poem note postcards.)

these hands...

The following words came to me yesterday after I took this photo...as I read them again, they feel like pieces of a longer bit of writing, but I will let them just rest here in this space for now...

When these hands were little they smeared Ponds Cold Cream across my grandmother's face, clasped my mother's hand when we walked through the grocery store, and held books that took me on adventures late into the night.

Years later, these hands lightly brushed my grandmother's forehead with a kiss after she died, hold my daughter's hand when we walk through the grocery store, and write words that I hope take others on adventures in their corners of the world.

These hands gather stories and moments each day.
They hold possibility and love.
They guide me through prayer.
They reach out toward connection and grace.

(If you've read Inner Excavation, you know that letting the body speak is one of my favorite prompts. I was inspired to take this photo + write these words after reading yesterday's prompt in Vivienne's Be Your Own Beloved class. So loving her gentle invitations each day. She is one of the best teachers I know.)

senses. a sunday morning adventure in january

{see}

{touch}

{smell}

{taste}

{hear}

{and know}

 

 *****

where: Pike Place Market
when: January 20, 2013

For several years now, I've been using my senses as a creative writing and photography prompt. My senses are my favorite creative tool because they are always available! Finding my senses through my camera lens (or through words) is a great exercise to help me get out of my head and often anchors me and reminds me to notice the beauty around me. I also use it as a meditation.

You can read more about this practice in my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media. 

See past posts about the senses here. If you join in with your own senses post, please come back and let me know or send me an email.