standing in your light (again and again)

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

- Brené Brown

Self-portraits are part of my self-care; they're one way that I help myself feel deeply seen in the world. I've been taking them for 10 years now, before we lived in this time where people debated the merits of a "selfie" on CNN. 

If you follow me on Instagram, you see the ways I work things out through taking a photo of myself, usually with my arm extended. I look into my phone like it's a mirror and I capture the realness of the moment. From joy to silliness to exhaustion to confusion to hope. My Instagram selfies are like a tiny peek into the pages of a journal that one might hide beneath a mattress. Taking these photos and then reflecting on what I'm feeling and the ways I can hold beauty and grit at the same time become an exercise in seeking evidence of the ways I'm living my life with my heart open.

And sharing the photos invites you into the conversation with me, either literally through a comment or in a quieter way where you perhaps reflect on the beauty and realness in your world.

It's another way I try to remind us both that we're not alone in our corners of the world.

I'm currently taking my friend Vivienne's Be Your Own Beloved ecourse. This is the second or third time I've been in the course, and each time I'm reminded of the power of other people's stories as I read Vivienne's words + see the self-portraits from other participants.

This weekend, she gave us a prompt about claiming space in our lives, in our photos. I read her words and felt deeply moved by the story she shared about her own relationship with claiming space. For a moment I thought about going outside to take a photo but then I let the to-do list pull on me.

Later, when my daughter was napping, I remembered the prompt and pushed myself to stand outside and prop my phone up against the side of the grill on the backporch, set the timer, and take a few photos. 

After the first one, I realized I was getting this gorgeous flare from the sun lowering toward the horizon.

Then when I saw this one, I heard one of my favorite phrases inside me: You are standing in your light honey.

Looking at this photo, I felt powerful, open, determined, and even beautiful. One of the words that keeps crossing my path lately is "rise." And this photo felt like a moment of rising. Yes.

Even though I take self-portraits in some form or another almost daily, I seldom take full body shots. I can list so many reasons, from not wanting to take the time to prop the camera and use the timer to not feeling up to it to feeling frumpy to not feeling like my photo will be interesting or unique enough to not wanting anyone to see the mess of my house or the overgrown weeds in the backyard.

All reasons that take me far away from the woman who knows she can claim her space in her world.

I'm so grateful to Vivienne for this prompt and for the ways she shares her stories so others can remember to make the choice to love themselves. Yes yes yes. She has a wonderful on demand class called Be Your Own Light that I recommend you dive into.

This self-portrait experience led me to Hand to Heart's March theme of Standing in Your Light. Hand to Heart is my free private Facebook group for women who want to be in conversation about self-care practices and how we can hold the beauty in one hand and grit in the other. Each month we explore a new theme to add to our current self-care practices, and this month, I'm sharing weekly stories about my own journey of learning to stand in my light. You can read more about the group and request to join right here.

dear mama

Water Your Mama Soul is a 10 day course where you explore ways to be right here in this moment and find the space to choose love...for yourself...for those around you...for this life you're choosing to live each day. You'll take photos and journal a bit and notice what you need each day. You'll reconnect with yourself. You'll give yourself the gift of remembering you.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Register right here.

book review | national geographic animal encyclopedias

This book review is part of a collaboration with Zulily during their current National Geographic event.

When I began to flip through the two books that Zulily sent over, The Animal Encyclopedia and the Ultimate Bug-Opedia, here's what I thought:

The books are gorgeous. The photos are big and make every single animal seem life-like. There is so much information packed inside these pages that we will use when my daughter inevitably asks, "Are lions really cats like the neighbor's cat?" or "Do crocodiles live in Africa or Australia?" Because already at 4, these are the questions coming out of her mouth. And now we have a place to look up the answers. She's also expressed interest in wanting to know the names of the insects we see, and AHA! we now have the perfect book to use to identify them.

But I wasn't really sure what she would actually want to do with these huge reference books.

The real magic happened when she saw them on the kitchen table when she woke up on Saturday morning.

She wanted nothing to do with the TV or even trying to convince us to take her to the Disney Store (because after our trip to Disney World, she pretty much tries to get us to visit the Disney Store every week). 

Instead, she said, "Are these books for me? Can I look at them while I eat breakfast?"

And in that moment, I remembered how I used to look through my parents' National Geographic reference books that they kept on a low shelf in the living room. For hours. I had forgotten about them and hadn't made the connection that Ellie might love the very same thing at her age.

So we dove into the insect book. She wanted to name every single insect she knew and then had me name any that she didn't. Then she saw a wasp and said, "This one has pretty wings. What is it?" I explained knowing she would be surprised because after being stung by two wasps last fall, she's afraid of them and often asks if I see any or if there will be any where we are going etc.

We were able to read about them and talk about how colorful they are and how one kind of paper wasp can even recognize wasp faces in a similar way to how humans see faces. And she decided, "Okay, I think wasps are cool and beautiful. But I still don't like their stingers." (Me either kid.) And she concluded maybe she wouldn't be as afraid all the time now that she'd seen these photos.

That was huge.

Monday after school, I brought out the Animal Encyclopedia as our activity before dinner. She's really enjoyed drawing with me lately, so I thought we might try just drawing pictures of the animals that caught our eye as we flipped through the pages.

This simple act of just seeing how much Ellie liked the book so I could report in for this review became, no joke, one of my favorite moments ever. She went from saying, "I don't know how to draw a bear!" to just diving in. 

Then she wanted to write out their full names. It was not only an exercise in increasing her self-esteem around creating but also became another opportunity to practice writing words all while fostering her curiosity about animals and nature.

This spring break, I'm going to work with her to begin to create a field journal of all the animals we've seen. It will be full of her drawings of them based on our photos + the photos in this book. And then we'll keep adding as we see more at zoos and out in the world.

Such an awesome way to blend learning and fun and creativity for both of us.

And this is the part where I admit that I might not have purchased these just seeing the covers on Zulily. They are gorgeous books as you expect any National Geographic book to be, but how they would actually engage my daughter wasn't apparent to me. I mean she's only four.

I'm so glad I learned this lesson. Ellie loves them. And we've started doing "quiet time" at night and sometimes during naptime (at almost five she's really getting close to letting go of naps right now). During quiet time, she loves to look at huge books with lots of photos and words, so these are now added into the mix, which of course makes her science teacher daddy very happy.

These National Geographic books + other good things are on sale right now over on Zulily. If you're reading this and miss the sale, just click over and then ask Zulily to notify you when they're on sale again. You'll get an email right in your inbox when they're back.

Note: This post was sponsored by Zulily in exchange for my honest review of these books. All ideas, photos, and words are mine. And because I'm a huge fan of Zulily's customer service and have bought quite a few things over the years that I'm very happy with, it is a joy to work with them.

a peek into my curvy closet | boots

Over here, I'm beyond happy to have a little collection of boots that work with my curvy body, and I want to share all about them today. Note that most of these are affiliate links below linking to Zappos or Nordstrom, two stores that have free shipping/free returns, which makes me very happy when it comes to shoes!

First up (from left to right): The comfy low boots

I've tried on several pairs of Cob Hill shoes and I found all of them to be comfortable. I love these low-heel boots, and they actually have a lot of support + the softness my foot wants. It is a special kind of company that can mix support and softness. These are the Alexandra. I also love these.

Second: The low non-usual but still wool-lined Ugg boot

I've had this Ugg Grandle for about two years now. They don't make this exact style anymore, but this one is similar. It is super comfortable, and I often wear it without socks. And it fits my little heel support I wear with my plantar fasciitis foot. I'm also still very committed to my regular Uggs, and they've actually been supportive for me - I don't have flat arches so the softness really works for me around the house especially after I've been wearing dressier shoes if I've been out.

photo by Vanessa Simpson | Focus in Photography

Third: Cowboy boots

When I was in Nashville last year, Vivienne and I had the best time shopping for cowboy boots. I was insistent that they wouldn't fit my calves but then I learned about the kind of style to look for (that v-shape should be deep to give your calf more room). These are Boulet, made in Canada, and I honestly swoon over them. And this color. The. Best. (They come in a gorgeous red too.) After searching, I found this exact pair right here.

And this is the part where I say, "Dear Zappos, you should carry these because women would buy a lot of them. For real."

photo by Vanessa Simpson | Focus in Photography 

Fourth: The red boots

Oh how I love these Miz Mooz. They are the wide-calf version of the Bloom boot and they are so much fun! I can walk in them all afternoon and actually tuck jeans into them. And the truth is they just make me feel sexy. Love wearing them with dresses that hit just below the knee.

photo by Vanessa Simpson | Focus in Photography

Fifth: My all-time favorites

These Ecco boots just make me happy. They are such a good staple. This is the Hobart style, though I couldn't find this exact color. The Sullivan looks awesome too and actually has more buckles, which is great for curvy calves. The first time I tucked my jeans into them I felt so darn happy. Curvy girls want to wear that look too. Oh yes we do. 

Do you have some favorite go-to boots? I'd love to hear about them.

And be sure to head over to my article about boot buying tips for curvy girls to learn more about how I choose boots to fit my curvy calves.

Edited to add: Cherie shared some great info in the comments that I'm reposting here but first I want to share that the Duo Boots link takes you to a video with sound, so be aware of that. And the boots on that site are gorgeous! I found about five pairs I'd love to try on. Thanks Cherie! She wrote: "Wide Widths has an incredible amount of sizing for feet, foot width & calf width. The boots on Duo Boots are utterly beautiful. Both links takes you to the respective websites with instructions on how & where to place a measuring tape around your calves. Duo Boots also shows a small video for each style boot with a model actually wearing & moving around in the style you are looking at to see if you would like that style & how far the shaft goes up the leg. Brilliant."

here

I've been carrying my "big girl" camera with me again these days. Before Ellie was born, I used to carry it almost every single time I left the house. And then I carried a diaper bag. And then my iPhone came along. And I just brought it out when we went somewhere special or when I needed to photograph something for my blog or work. But just carrying it with me again and noticing the simple and gorgeous and silly and quiet moments of my everyday life makes me so happy.

It truly is a way to practice creative self-care and water my soul. 

Using one of my favorite prompts, "here," take a peek at what I've been finding.

Here, spring unfurls early and we just soak it up in awe.

Here, we practice going out in the world using our kind voices while still being ourselves with every step.

Here, a little girl finds her joy.

Here, we both grow each day. And it's so hard. And beautiful. And messy. And true.

Here, the blue sky surprises us when it appears and I stand outside and soak it up.

Here, I remember how finding myself through my lens brings me home.

Here, we catch her in these magic moments of singing to herself and another stitch sews up the cracks in my heart.

Here, I listen to the wisdom within me and make the choice to choose love again and again.

Yes.

*****

Water Your Mama Soul is ongoing class that invites you to use creative self-care to help you come home to yourself.

I've created this class because I believe 10 days of focused creative self-care for just 10-20 minutes a day will change your life. Mamas have little time for themselves and need to be able to turn to accessible practices to ground themselves in the midst of real life. I'm running this class again live because I believe in the power of a circle of women supporting one another and saying, "I hear you. Me too...me too."

In Water Your Mama Soul, you will use your camera, journaling prompts, and self-care practices to reconnect with yourself. This will be a 10-day journey into self-care, healing, and noticing what you need. You will come away with practices you can use again and again to fill up your own internal well so you can be more present to your loved ones and other things in your life. Learn more and sign up right here.

the file drawer {7}

 

Sometimes I can see these moments Thich Naht Hahn is talking about with clarity and there is so much light and I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Other times, the chatter inside pushes me away from what I know. This is why I practice...why I take self-portraits, why I read poetry, why I pause and take five deep breaths. This is why I know I have to fill up my own well first - so I can recognize which choice I want to make.

Here are a few things that caught my eye this week + things I've been thinking about:

This interview with Oprah has been online for months, but I just watched it for the first time last week and I wanted to cheer several times during it. She talked about how your real work is to figure out where your power base is and to work on the alignment of your personality and your gifts with the real reason you are here. Yes.

This Carl Sandburg poem kind of says it all.

A question: Can you relate to staying up late into the night scrolling through fonts to see which one might be the perfect fit for your new website? Me too. We should start a club. (My eyes are blurred by looking at Liz Lamoreux in script, in all caps, in all lowercase...)

I keep meaning to try Alicia's lasagna rozale recipe.

Everything about this pin (and Elise's awesome article it links to) is pretty much perfection to me.

I'm a wee bit obsessed with this Wonders of Washington patch set, and I'm tempted to get them and have our family "earn" them this summer and maybe sewing them to a fun bag we fill with tools for our adventures.

I'm dipping my toes into the world of Zentangle and taking some classes from Ellie's art teacher. I'm getting out of the house during the week! During an evening! It feels huge. Just two classes so far, but hoping to take more soon. (Oh and if you're local and want to join me, let me know!) I'm going to get this book and start playing with a few new tangles. Watch for them to appear over on Instagram. It feels like a new kind of mindfulness practice that this mama of a four year old really needs.

Do you use a feed reader? I use Feedly. But lately, I've been receiving several emails from people wanting to subscribe to my blog so posts come in their inbox, and I'm wondering if people just aren't using feed readers anymore. (Google Reader, we are still fighting. Although it's a silly kind of fight since you aren't even around anymore to know how annoyed I am.) Anyway, if you would like to receive my blog posts in your inbox, I've started a new MailChimp list just for posts (not my newsletter). If you prefer, you can subscribe through Feedburner as well here. I'm also on BlogLovin' over here where I dip my toes in sometimes to see if I like it better than Feedly. Jury is still out.

And this is the part where I'm saying I feel moved to share that doing these link posts on a Friday is nothing new. I've done them on and off for the (almost) 10 years I've been blogging, but have never really chosen one day to always do them. I love (love!) reading these kinds of link posts from other bloggers (like elise, susannah, and a cup of jo). And because I curate so many things over on Pinterst these days, it makes me super happy to have one series of blog posts to "file" some of my favorite favorites. I hope you're enjoying them.

Happy weekend beautiful souls!

xoxo,
Liz 

PS A couple of the links above are affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission when you buy from their site.

two things that made disney world even more magical for my daughter

Disney World is a magical place.

It is one of those places I've returned to again and again in my life because it allows me to step inside an imagined childhood just like I would walk into books when I would read as a kid late into the night with a flashlight under a quilt made by my great-grandmother.

When I was preparing Eleanor for her first trip, we talked about how when you go to Disney World you get to step into stories. In one day in the Magic Kingdom you can be a pirate, an adventurer, a miner, and an explorer of the future. You can step into the story of being inside a haunted house without actually being scared of an unfriendly ghost. You can tumble down the biggest waterfall you can imagine when you're four while knowing that you are going to be okay and laughing next to your mama when you get to the bottom.

We talked about how much fun it was going to be to step into the stories. And she was beyond excited.

Stepping into a pirate story with "this is my best pirate face Mama" 

There are several reasons why the trip was magical and several things I would do differently to make it even more magical for us next time (more naps! no dining plan! staying two more days! soaking in the whirlpool after she goes to bed!).

Today, I want to focus on two reasons why I think the trip was as magical as possible for her and her personality.

1) For a few months before we went, we watched videos of the rides on YouTube.

Here's what I mean: I'd search YouTube for, for example, Splash Mountain Disney World. And then I'd literally find videos people had taken of the experience of going on the ride. In HD. As in there are channels by people who love Disney/have Disney travel blogs/and so on, and they record videos of the rides and share them.

Brilliant.

(And if you're like me and secretly miss Horizons or the original Journey into Imagination, oh never fear, they have you covered.)

Anyway, Ellie and I would have a little ride watching party each week and watch a few rides that she'd be going on during our trip.

She loved it! And sometimes wanted to watch a parade (awesome - 20-minute parade viewing means I could jump in the shower!) or a show like Beauty and the Beast (again awesome! you watch that while I finish dinner). 

And most importantly: She knew what to expect.

Because she's so young, there was no worry that this would spoil the surprise of the ride. Everything was new and magical and REAL to her when we were there. Instead, she felt secure in what to expect because the truth is going on rides at Disney World is nothing like what we do in our real life.

Yes, we stand in line for things, but we don't get into a boat that takes us into a village being burned by pirates or ride a flying elephant or go on a runaway mine train.

And because I watched the videos with her, even though I've been to Disney World many times, I was able to remember details to tell her when we were there, like: This is the last big drop or This is the part where it gets dark for a minute or Remember, the car is going to swivel around but you don't have to worry it's going to go fast.

She was so prepared that she would sometimes remind me.

And my little brave daredevil went on every roller coaster she was tall enough to ride. We road Splash Mountain just about daily and Thunder Mountain 4 times in a row on our last morning in the park. I was 18 before I really wanted to ride either. I love her.

2. The second thing I did was talk right to the characters when we met them to give them some info as they began to interact with my daughter. 

What I mean: So to say Eleanor has been waiting to meet Mickey since she was about 1 is not an understatement. She was actually way more interested in meeting Mickey than any of the princesses (which isn't to say she didn't love meeting the princesses or that I didn't, maybe, ugly cry on the sidelines when she met Anna from Frozen because she was so "all in" with the magic of it all.)

She's been talking about what she's going to say to Mickey for about two years. This might make us sound like a crazy Disney family, but in reality, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is her favorite TV show just like Mister Rogers was mine. Spending time with Mickey and the gang is like hanging out with old friends for her. They're kind and cheer each other on and simply have fun.

I heart that show.

Anyway, when I realized how important these interactions were to her while also reading about kids as old as 6 or 7 being a bit "overwhelmed" by meeting the characters, I was honestly a little worried and ready to say if needed, "You don't need to be afraid because this is really just a person pretending to be Goofy" etc.

Her first interactions with characters was at dinner with Pooh and Friends at the Crystal Palace. As Eeyore got closer and closer to our table, she started climbing into my lap and saying, "I'm nervous."

When Eeyore got to our table, I stood up while holding Ellie's hand and said, "Hi Eeyore, I'm so happy to see you again. This is my daughter Eleanor and she's a little nervous to meet you. You are the very first character she's ever met here at Disney World."

Eeyore dropped to one knee and held his arms open. Ellie immediately relaxed and hugged him like an old friend.

This happened again and again. Now of course this is mostly because: Dude, Disney knows what they are doing, and Eeyore, Mickey, Cinderella, and all their friends are pros. BUT I found that by just sharing a few words to give them a glimpse into Ellie's world, she was more at ease and they gave her attention that felt really special.

And I could translate for them.

Pooh and Goofy etc. don't talk, and that is wacky. I mean, it makes sense, but it does add another layer to the whole experience. (There is a talking Mickey in the Magic Kingdom now and it was awesome to meet him.) This means that you communicate with them through their body language.

So when we walked up to the characters and Ellie was nervous, often standing behind me at first, I would interact with them to help her feel comfortable.

And it meant that when she made simple decisions like, "I only want them to sign my autograph book once," I could say at a character meal, "Minnie, so good to see you again. You signed our book yesterday so Ellie would just love a hug and a photo." Minnie would nod her head and hand me back the autograph book she'd picked up off the table and turn to Ellie for a hug. Or I could say, "Cinderella it is so good to see you again after meeting you with Rapunzel yesterday" and then like magic she would say, "I'm so happy to see you again" to Ellie. 

Simple magic that made Ellie feel so special. And you can see how exactly what I mean when you look at this moment I shared last week. And the photographers at Disney World did a great job of often getting photos of just her with the characters even if I was standing nearby. 

So this is the part where I just say it: If your kids really want to meet characters but are nervous at first, get over any awkwardness you have about talking to a 6 foot tall striped Tigger and get in there to help facilitate that joy.

I'm going to share a few more posts about our Disney experience over the next few weeks because going with a child for the first time had me just really noticing things in a different way. Plus, I've promised to tell you how I survived all that walking with plantar faciitis. I've already shared my tips for keeping your little one busy on a plane ride over here because after 6 hours on a plane both ways, I've got a few ideas for you!

Have you been to Disney with kids? What unexpected tip do you have to make it even more magical? Share in the comments!

PS And one more quick story: That first photo of Ellie and me with Minnie shows me explaining the gift that Ellie brought for Minnie. As in unbeknownst to me, my daughter packed a gift to give Minnie Mouse - the beads she'd been gathering for her for the last 8 months or so because she thought Minnie might like to make a beaded necklace. I'm not kidding. I had a vague memory of her asking for a ziploc to put some beads in when she was sorting her collection one day last summer because she "wanted to give them to Minnie one day." On the morning we were leaving for the airport, she asked me if I'd packed her "comfort pouch," which is a zippered pouch with treasures and a small journal in it that she named and created a few months ago. I stuck it in the carryon without much thought. The first morning we're at Disney World she asks for it and pulls out the beads, asking me if I'll carry them for her in case we see Minnie. What the what? And then suddenly it all comes together. We put a "You Are Awesome" sticker inside and I went with it.

Here's what you should know: If your kid suddenly decides to bring a card or you know a random bag of beads to give to a character, the peeps at Disney totally know what to do. After I explained to Minnie and it was captured forever and ever in that photo, I handed it to Minnie's "handler" who put it in a bag she carries and nodded that she'd take care of it as though it was the most normal thing ever.

The. Best.

I'm kind of still not over the crazy, awesomeness of my kid saving beads for Minnie and then REMEMBERING to bring them without even telling me about it.

a favorite favorite customer order

Last month, a customer ordered this phrase inside a locket.

And as I said on Instagram, my heart grew three sizes.

#ilovemyjob

If you want to place your own custom order in time for Valentine's Day, we can still send them out to get there in time in the US. Place your order by Friday of this week, and we'll send it Priority Mail on Monday, February 9 next week.