on living dreams into reality

The words above are on one of the little Soul Mantra notes that I tuck into secret spaces at my retreats. I hide them all over the house...under pillows...in the bathrooms...tucked onto windowsills. And whenever I hide this one, I always say a little blessing that as many people as possible will see it.

Because I really want you to believe that you can live even your craziest, wildest dreams into being.

Yes.

At my first Be Present Retreat back in 2009, I had a moment alone sitting on the couch looking out at the sea in Manzanita, Oregon. As I sat there, I realized I felt so at home. It truly felt like I was doing the work I was meant to do. All the clichés about being where you were meant to be came together. And this phrase "I am living my dreams into reality" flashed into my mind. I remember tearing up and trying to push away the feelings because it felt like almost too much to believe.

But it was true.

And here's the part where I tell you two important pieces about the "living my Be Present Retreats dream into reality" story.

1) One of the best pieces of advice I received was: Live as though the dream is already true. 

2) I had to cancel three of the first four retreats I'd planned because I didn't have enough people. 

The advice came when I was in the "one day I want to own a retreat center or have a loft space where I can hold events but I have no money to do this yet" stage of dreaming. I was sitting at a friend's kitchen table and she'd asked me what my biggest dream was right now. I was working full-time as an editor, in talks about writing a book about poetry and creativity, and I'd just added the Soul Mantra necklaces to my slowly growing Etsy shop full of purses and prayer flags.

I shared that one day I wanted to host retreats that brought together what I'd learned from the sacred community I'd found in my two-year yoga teacher training experience with the creative community I'd found in the art retreats I was attending. I said that I thought I was about five to ten years away from that dream because we didn't have money to buy a place where I could host the retreats.

My dream was deeply connected to a belief that I had to own (or rent) a space to host these retreats I was envisioning.

My friend said, "Why don't you act like you are already living this dream?"

As I thought about her words over the next few days, my way of looking at this dream began to change. I shifted toward the, "Hmmm...that is interesting. I wonder..." phase of dreaming.

But I didn't make any moves for a few months. I started to try on the idea that I could create and host retreats now. I would imagine what it would be like, but I was too afraid to put any ideas onto paper.

Then I had a few really beautiful experiences and conversations with a few friends. Their support pushed me over the edge to move into the action phase.

I started researching locations along the Oregon Coast. I wanted a big house so it could feel a bit like I was inviting people into my home. I found some possibilities. I started brainstorming on paper. I started thinking about names for this new adventure. My blog was called "be present, be here." The name Be Present Retreats was born.

I brainstormed ideas for the first retreat. I came up with the idea of calling it Self-Portrait Excavation: a retreat about self-portraits in photography, poetry, and mixed media. I asked two friends if they wanted to teach with me. And a few weeks later, I put my dream out into the world.

There was a lot of excitement from my blog readers and friends. I felt certain the retreat would fill with excited women ready to sink into the world of self-portraits and community.

During this time the editor I'd been brainstorming book ideas with called me and said, "I think the idea you have for that retreat could be an incredible book."

I loved it. We put together the proposal and it was accepted! Inner Excavation was born.

But only a few people signed up for the retreat. 

I was really discouraged and knew I would probably have to cancel. I was determined to try again. I brainstormed in my idea notebook. I talked to a few trusted friends and they listened and gave me advice when I asked for it. I thought about the two teachers I most wanted to learn from and asked them if they would teach. They said yes.

I pushed forward with my second retreat (that really became my first). It sold out in three days.

And a few months later, I found myself sitting on that couch looking out at the water knowing I'd come home. And I consciously tucked that feeling into my heart so I wouldn't forget.

The next two retreats didn't fill.

At times it was confusing and discouraging, but I didn't let myself forget that feeling of home. 

So I planned another one and we had just enough people to make it work. I kept building from there. Last week I hosted my fifteenth retreat.

Of course there is a lot more to this story, including figuring out how to actually make money and other bumps and bruises as a business grows. There are dear friends who have supported me and a few who have literally helped make these retreats possible. There are lessons and laughter and moments of wondering. And there have been moments when I wasn't sure if I should keep doing this paired with really beautiful retreats that have brought me back to center where I feel at home again.

Today, this is what I know: If I hadn't spent those months taking time to just pretend the dream was already happening, it would still be in the idea notebook I carry around in my head. Literally trying that dream on for minutes at a time helped me step into a the story of what creating the Be Present Retreats might feel like. 

I'm so deeply grateful for that moment when someone shined a light on that dream inside me and let me know I had permission to say, "YES!"

***** 

This post is part of The Give Your Dream Wings Blog Hop. It's a peek inside the process of how inspiring people make the magic happen. We've got some of the internet's most inspiring bloggers sharing how they give their dreams wings - what they do that supports, nurtures and encourages their tender dreams to come to life. This is happening in celebration of the new e-course of the same name by Andrea Schroeder of the Creative Dream Incubator.

The Give Your Dream Wings e-course shows you how to nurture and grow YOUR dream, for free, in only 10 minutes a day. You do not have to wait until you have more time or money! Click here to find out about the free e-course and to read the other (crazy inspiring!) posts in this Blog Hop.

poem it out

This month is National Poetry Month here in the US, which seems like the perfect excuse to share a few poems with you.

I'm a big fan of poetry. I think it can save your life (for real). Poets are truth tellers who get right to the guts of life. They have such a short amount of space to tell the story, so they just do it. They demand we pay attention. They edit out all the extra stuff so that as the reader we are left with a mirror or snippet of a memory or a last breath or the first crocus of Spring. 

Yes. 

People often ask me for a place to begin when it comes to reading poetry. My advice is start with the poets whose poems caused you to ask this question. If you read a Mary Oliver poem and said, "YES!" then search for more of her poems. If Rumi caught your eye over on Pinterest, look him up.

You might even want to just stand in the poetry section of your closest bookstore and pretend you are choosing a bottle of wine. Look at the names of the collections, the colors of the covers. Choose one. Flip through. Read what catches your eye. If nothing does. PICK UP ANOTHER BOOK. Start over again. You will find the ones you were meant to find. (I share some more thoughts about this over here.)

Here are five poems to get you started:

"why i feed the birds" by Richard Vargas

"Any Morning" by William Stafford

"The Art of Disappearing" Naomi Shihab Nye

"Now I Become Myself" by May Sarton

"Morning" by Billy Collins

*****

Poem It Out: It's a way of living. My way of living. The way I move through the world, through my grief, through my fears, through my joy. I poem. I read poetry. I write it. I put pen to the page and find my way. It is also a series of ecourses and in-person workshops that I teach. 

the file drawer {3}

print by Dawn Smith Designs

Elise's new podcast "Elise Gets Crafty" is awesome. Period.

Between Kelly and Hannah sharing their projects on Instagram and in-person at Your Story, I'm drooling over the crochet projects over here. Seriously considering a stripey blanket.

In another life, I'll have one of these tents.

This make a journal from a paper bag DIY is being added to my "crafty things to do with Ellie" list. While the DIY itself is too advanced for a toddler, she would love decorating the paper bag before I make it. (Might be a great Mother's Day gift to make for the grandmothers and aunts out there.)

This radio from Anthropologie is kind of perfection. Especially because it includes a spot to plug in your MP3 player. Wouldn't it be perfect for a backyard picnic this summer? I'm dreaming of many a backyard picnic as the rain comes down today.

This is a mug that I would want to drink from while lounging in this bed while writing poetry. Yep.

Inner Excavation is on sale in my shop this month. 40% off the list price (which makes it just under $15). It ships right from my studio, so I sign it for you + include a few little love notes tucked inside it. Find it right here.

And a huge thanks to Dawn Smith who sent gorgeous prints for each of the Your Story Retreat participants. Putting one on each of their pillows made me so happy. Her Birds in Flight print is above and you can check out more goodness in her Etsy shop. 

Read other file drawer posts here.

project life :: february 2014

This year, I'm working on my Project Life album one month at a time. Letting go of the weekly updates has been like taking a deep breath.

And as usual, it isn't about being perfect or hoping my albums will look like some of the true designers or really experienced scrapbookers out there. 

No.

This is about photos + words and a few little fun bits and gathering them together as evidence of this awesome, crazy, beautiful, sometimes really messy life we're living over here.

These layouts show glimpses of a month full of sick days and a snow day and three trips to IKEA and a visit from my mom and going through "stuff" and rearranging and continuing to make a home that feels like home.

Read more about my experience with Project Life + get links to some of the products I'm using right here.

your story 2014

photo by Kimberly Kalil

photo by Kelly Barton

photo by Kimberly Kalil

photo by Kelly Barton

photo by Hannah Low

I'm so grateful to the 21 women who gathered on the Oregon Coast last week. They showed up as themselves, tried new things, danced, laughed, and shared pieces of their stories. I'm so blessed to do this work, to create this space where all of this magic unfolds.

We wrote poems, took self-portraits, carved stamps + made books with Elise, painted with Kelly, talked about some business stuff, shared ways we stay present amidst all of it, ate delicious food prepared by my dear friend Sasha, and deeply connected in that way women can when they come to a safe space and make the choice to just keep their hearts open to how it all unfolds.

The synergy of it all...the love...helped me come back to center when I think about what I want to do next with the Be Present Retreats. One maybe even two fall retreats are in the works (you might have spotted this sneak peek of my brainstorming) and more information will be coming very very soon. To be the first to know, sign up for my newsletter right here.

Thank you for coming along on these adventures with me. Those days on the coast last week reminded me of the simple and very tangible ways a group of people can change the world. Yes yes yes.

(Kelly's words + handwriting appear in the second photo. For the last few years I've given out mugs at every retreat. You can spot a few of the ones I gave this time in the photos above. They're from The Universe Knows.)

love this :: current tools

A few favorite daily "tools" that I'm using over here:

This Decomposition Book is a new favorite notebook. I'm using it to write letters to myself, which is a recent practice I've started since working with Fabeku. It was a really beautiful support piece during last week's retreat, helping me envision how I hoped things would unfold, keeping me grounded before everyone arrived, etc. And I really love the feel of the paper in this notebook. (You can find more notebook designs here. I bought mine at the awesome Beach Books in Seaside, OR.)

These pens. Always these pens.

Blue Q pouches. We use these for so many things - from pens + a small Moleskine that I carry in my purse to Ellie's stickers + tiny Hello Kitty journal that we take to a restaurant to make-up and jewelry when I travel. I also use the larger tote bags too.

I've just begun using the Behance Action Cards (and am going to start using the Action Book this week). After I've used them for awhile, I'll report back. So far I'm loving this system! (Found via Elise.)

The Oodles of Doodles mousepad from Alisa Burke makes me smile every single day. 

Please note: A few of the above links are affiliates, which means I receive a small commission when you purchase from that online store.

the beauty of the everyday moments

In April, we'll explore the practice of finding the beauty in our every day and capture these moments through our camera lens. Along with all the other good things you receive with a membership to Hand to Heart each month, there will be a simple photography prompt to explore each day. This is one of the prompts we'll be exploring:

Last week, as the late afternoon eased into evening, we took a walk around our neighborhood. One of my favorite things to do is to take my camera along to gather evidence of how the season's are changing right where I live.

While we walk, I pause to quickly capture colors and textures and sounds with my camera.

Often I don't look through the lens, I just snap and look later, as I try to tap into my child self who isn't thinking about "how good the photo is" but is instead just looking at the world with wonder.

With the photo above, I just pointed my camera up toward that gorgeous blue sky and the forsythia blooms and snapped without looking through the viewfinder.

Sometimes I put my camera right on the ground to see what I can find at an ant's view. The photo above was taken with my camera right on the ground, me bending over just to press the shutter button. 

When I stood up, I realized I'd really just been taking a photo of a patch of grass. Who would have thought that this field was just waiting right there?

Try it today: Get outside and find the simple beauty and wonder of your world. And then come back here and tell me all about it.

*****

Hand to Heart is an invitation to stop signing up for another ecourse or two or three that will sit in your inbox. It is your invitation to start practicing what you know.

This ongoing offering is a soft space for you to land daily as you listen to the wisdom within you and practice what you know. When you join, you become a member of a community of kindred women who will be exploring a new soul care practice and theme each month. These practices will light the way as we find the YES in our beautiful, messy lives. Learn more and join in here.

the file drawer {2}

This comic by Yale Stewart all about Superman and Batman and other superheroes if they went to school together when they were kids...well, it is awesome on every level. Seriously. I am obsessed. My current favorite is the one where they pretend to be Spiderman as they walk down the hall. I think he posts two new ones each week. Again, awesome.

This article by Ron Suskind about reaching his autistic son through Disney movies is interesting and really thought-provoking.

These blue eggs pretty much take my breath away. For real.

We went to a rummage sale/craft show this weekend and I fell in love with the purses and pouches from Atlas Past. Check out Brooke's Etsy shop right here. 

Want to meet in LA for 24 hours? (I am kind of not kidding.) The Design*Sponge "24 hours in" series is brilliant.

This beaded tank from Anthropologie is pretty fantastic. Perfect with jeans but also can be dressed up. It is flattering on my curvy body and falls longer on me than the photo. It's going to be my date night top (please remind me to actually schedule date night).

And while I was at Anthro I realized my favorite glasses now come in a lot more colors. I resisted the temptation to buy more but gosh they sure are pretty. (I have one of the dark green ones.)

Social Media Manifesto by Heather Platt has me nodding. (My friend Alana sent this my way on a day when I felt really overwhelmed by Facebook and the way it sometimes feels like people share things before even digesting their own feelings about what they are sharing. That's happened to me a few times late at night. In those moments, I send an email to a friend with the subject "things I won't be tweeting..." and share with one person who will get it and reply "totally hearing you.")

I'm so grateful for the ways Meredith Winn shares her stories through her words and her photographs. This post is raw and real and gorgeous.

I've been thinking about joy lately. What it feels like inside me when I really notice it. How I can share more joy with those around me and with you. The Rumi quote above is a favorite, and I'm trying to create space to live from this place more. Yes yes yes. 

Read the other file drawer posts here. 

Note: A couple of the above links are affiliates, which means I receive a small commission when you purchase from that online store.