inhale. exhale. (a meditation)

inhale . exhale soul mantra earrings (in the shop)

pause in this moment.

inhale.
notice.
exhale.
find you in this moment.

inhale.
notice.
exhale.
stay right here. 

what is resting inside you today?

try to notice without judgement.

without a need to feel a certain way.

just notice.

then when you are ready:

inhale
compassion
exhale
love

repeat as needed 

***

Deeply appreciating how popular the Inhale Exhale Soul Mantra earrings have been. I imagine women pausing to take a deep breath as they put them on, when they see them in the mirror, when they feel the amethyst gemstones gently touch their neck.

Somedays even putting on earrings becomes part of the practice.

If you would like a pair of Soul Mantra earrings customized with your phrase, just let me know.

march 31

On Sunday we were reminded of the gifts we receive each time we get out of the house and go exploring. I love living here.

Yes, the sky really was that blue. 

The first few minutes were spent navigating her way through trusting that she can believe when I say the water isn't going to get her. A desire to talk through fears is common around here right now. (I guess I hope it always will be.)

She kept saying again and again, "These rocks are just so pretty."

When she realized I was collecting seaglass (which was why I wanted to go to North Beach in Port Townsend), she started looking for it too. And she found so many tiny pieces of brown and green and even some deep blue. I couldn't stop smiling so big and wishing my mom and grandma were with us.

Yes, deep blue sea glass. We will go when you visit. (So come soon.)

Even though getting out of the house was intense (I'm never at my best trying to remember everything for everyone), we found our way to kindness and laughter and this moment right here.

I keep thinking about how we have to push ourselves to put family playdates like this one on the calendar. Life unfolds so quickly and the things that must get done do give way to the beautiful moments yet sometimes in order to really connect to yourself, to one another, you have to go someplace new, explore, and have a picnic. Outside.

We must remember to take care of our souls in this way.

Yes.

sometimes

Last night I snapped this photo, Instagrammed it and wrote: Sometimes this always learning stuff is totally rad. Even when it shakes you up and spits you out. You look around and say, "yep, just where I am supposed to be."

A few seconds later, I added a PS of sorts that said: of course it's understood that sometimes the always learning part is exhausting and feels like shit. but later the "yes, this" comes.

I snapped the photo because for one slice of one moment, I felt like I could touch a deeper understanding of where I am right now. I didn't feel behind or not enough. I wasn't wishing for something else. I was full of a sense of trust that I really can sift through all the stuff, the chatter, the social media, the shoulds, the whys and listen to what I know. 

Because I'll forget this and feel overwhelmed and lost and alone and behind and how the list goes on one day soon, maybe later today (maybe in a few seconds) or tomorrow or one day next week, I'll keep documenting through words and photos and phrases hammered into lockets so I will remember to trust that I really am in charge of this story I'm living.

Yes, this.

Yes, this.

PS Just four three spots left for Water Your Soul :: Being Seen. We start Monday and will begin gathering in our private Facebook group this weekend.

traveling with my toddler

The idea of traveling with a toddler can bring up so much stuff for parents, partly because people sometimes talk about how "horrible my flight was because I was stuck next to a two year old" and mostly because life with a toddler is full of the unexpected. Before our trip earlier this month, I worried about how to keep my daughter entertained and safe and next to me and how the list goes on. 

The night before we left, a friend sent me an email saying that she hoped our travel day would be "shockingly wonderful." I held onto those words and the day traveling to my dad's was actually one of the best days we've ever had. For real. Ellie was delighted by the trip...by the airport and boarding the plane and watching the clouds and eating snacks. Of course, during our trip itself we had the usual intense toddler moments and some really beautiful moments too. I learned a lot about what worked and some things I want to do differently. Here are some of things I did that I think helped make our travels smooth overall and a few things I will tweak next time:

Practice practice practice

For about ten days leading up to the trip, Ellie and I practiced. From deciding on what outfit she wanted to wear on the plane, to sitting on the couch pretending we were on the plane and talking about why we don't kick the seat in front of us, to what she will do if she's tired or hungry, and how she will need to wear her seatbelt. This helped so much, we talked about a lot of possibilities and scenarios. As soon as she got in her seat, she put her seatbelt on and said, "I'm not supposed to kick that seat." Yes!

The toddler backpack

Ellie really wanted to carry her own backpack and this turned out to be an awesome idea. She loved deciding what to put in it (snacks + a stuffed animal + her art journal and crayons of course), and I love that she was feeling responsible for some of her own things. Because I don't have a lot of mom friends I talk to about these things, I am always delighted to find lists of helpful things on blogs, so I thought I would go ahead and share what she carried and how:

• She has a great backpack from Pottery Barn Kids, but they aren't currently carrying that style. Though this one is similar and pretty great because it has extra pockets.
• This little zippered pouch held her small Moleskine + Hello Kitty stickers + plus these crayons that don't roll as much as other crayons and were easier to find when they fell on the floor.
• A little Minnie zippered pouch filled with snacks she picked out: goldfish crackers, raisins, and pretzels
• Her sippy cup ready for me to fill 
• And one of her stuffed animals
• On the trip home she added her sunglasses and a tiara from Grandma because what more could a girl need on an airplane (I heart her)

There were times when she didn't want to or couldn't carry her backpack, so I had a carabiner attached to my purse so I could hook it to me whenever needed. This made it very easy for both of us. Oh and I totally made one of these but forgot to give it to her. Saving it for next time.

The iPad

So I know this one won't be for everyone, and that is totally okay. We all make the best decisions for our own family's needs. We've found some great educational games for Ellie to play on my iPad and she also loves to listen to music/watch videos. So I downloaded a few episodes of Doc McStuffins and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse + a couple of new games (she loves puzzle games and ABC games). And this kept her really entertained at different parts of the trip. And she loved listening for the words "electronic devices" to be said over the speaker so she could take out the iPad (or put it away). We also used it when she just needed some down time during our trip.

Bringing her favorite clothes

Having some of her "go-to" favorites made getting dressed each morning much easier. Even though this meant she wanted to wear a summer dress (we paired it with tights). Even though this meant wearing her pajama top under a dress one day. Even if this meant wearing the same thing for three days in a row (I did laundry while she slept). And letting her wear her new favorite "I got this from my cousins" dress on the plane home even though it had cheetoh "cheese" on it was also a good choice. Every kid is different, but think about what helps your kid feel comfortable and at home and maybe even a little in charge. For Ellie, she loves very specific clothes right now.

My laptop

I left my laptop at home. This was huge for me because I am basically connected to it a lot of the time. I am so glad I did. It made traveling in the airport so much easier. Usually I carry my laptop in this backpack, which is super comfortable. I love it! But I didn't feel up for wearing a backpack + diaper bag + purse and potentially carrying a two year old because we were traveling alone. So I left the laptop at home and carried my purse + pulled a small rolling bag (with a change of clothes for both of us + extra diapers + ipad + my camera) and then had a soft foldable bag in my purse that I pulled out after we got through security and used for our drinks + clean diapers. Using a rolling bag was awesome and I'm now on the hunt for one that will fit my laptop for when I need to take it while traveling with EJ. 

Things I will do differently:

Breakfast

Next time we travel, I'm going to try to give better choices when it comes to breakfast. For example, eating oatmeal or raisin bran for breakfast before she eats any of the other fun stuff that is at Grandma and Grandpa's would be a really good choice to give. And then give better choices for an afternoon snack, such as fruit. I noticed how much I did not want to "fight" with her about food because I didn't want her having a meltdown, so I gave in...a lot. This is partly because for so long we've been trying to get her to gain weight (because of her heart stuff she has always been really thin). And giving in seemed okay on the trip because what she often wanted was carrots and more carrots and edamame. But she also a lot of other stuff. And by the time we were ready to fly home, her belly was hurting in a big way. Which made for an intense car trip to the airport + wait in the airport + first 30 minutes of our flight. Good to (re)learn. 

Self-care

I didn't practice self-care very well while we were gone. There were lots of reasons but now that I'm home, I'm thinking about the things I could have done. Next time I'm making a self-care list right next to the packing list and then taking the list (and a few self-care supplies) with me. I really encourage you to do this. From taking a favorite book to journaling a bit each day to waking up a bit early to take a hot shower before your little one wakes up. Think about what you do at home that you could do on your trip. 

Bed-time routine

This was really intense most nights. New bed. New room. New timezone. All of it. And doing it alone was hard. For several nights we Skyped with Jon and he read to her, which was awesome for Ellie. But it meant an even longer bedtime experience because then she wanted the same number of stories with me. Next time, we are going to practice the bedtime routine too...talking about it and probably having her choose three books to take with her.

Share your tips

These are just a few of the highlights of what I learned. I'd love to hear your "go-to" traveling tips for toddlers and younger kids. Let's make a big list in the comments to help out other parents doing the best they can while traveling with their little ones.

Feast

Over here, I'm continuing to get things ready for the Feast Retreat that happens in less than three weeks.

Hannah is gathering feathers and other good things she will be bringing with her across the miles. Kelly is emailing me with new ideas and photos of goodies she's creating. Persephone and I are working on the menu. (Oh my gosh I LOVE having an official chef for this retreat. Something tells me if you check out Persephone's Instagram feed you will get some sneak peeks.) Boxes of goodies are arriving.And super secret Pinterest boards are a very good thing to help with brainstorming. Yes.

I've learned so much organizing and teaching at retreats these past few years and planning Feast has felt very sacred to me. I'm bringing all the knowledge of these past retreats to this one. And I've spent time really sifting through the moments that filled us up, what needs a bit of tweaking, and what new things I'd like to share.

I'm so grateful for another opportunity to circle with women in an environment of inclusion where we can beautifully show up as ourselves. Yes.

We'll be exploring ways to practice soul care through sharing our stories, creating with paper and color, journaling, photography, cooking, and being in community. Hannah, Kelly, and I will be telling a few stories about our real self-care that isn't really about taking a bubble bath but about digging deep and realizing that even in the midst of the hardest moments we can find our way to be rooted in the joy, beauty, truth, love around and within us. 

Oh and there is going to be yoga. Yes. A morning of "yoga + poetry + stories" is on the schedule. Cannot wait! And some time with self-portraits and walking along Puget Sound and cooking together and how the list goes on. We still have a couple of spots left. Join us. Find out more and register here.

Note: If you feel a longing to come to the Pacific Northwest for Feast but gathering the full payment feels a bit overwhelming right now, payment plans are possible. Please contact me for more information. 

a few delightful things

1) Oh Skype I've been loving you for a few years now because you keep me connected with my kindreds, but this week, you've become a life saver. This is the first time we've been away when Ellie has really be in touch with that "I miss Daddy" feeling, so we've been calling almost every night and Jon's been reading to her (he usually reads to her every night at home). It has been awesome. And with the time change, if we can't talk at night, we've been able to talk before he goes to work. She loves it.

If you aren't on Skype, this is your direct invitation. Because honey the future is here and parts of it (like this) are super awesome.

2) Because I haven't had my laptop with me (just using my iPad + my dad's laptop every other day for about 20 minutes), I'm getting back in touch with my love of pens + paper. I've already mentioned my beloved Smash book I picked up at Target (like this one). I'm also really loving these Sharpie pens in all these happy colors.

Oh and on Instagram and Facebook I received a few questions about Smash books. Here's a link to my posts where I profess my love and share a few ways I use them. Other than the happy colors + quotes throughout, I really love the thick paper + the happy pages that aren't intimidatingly blank. (Green one is my all-time favorite.)

3) I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown and simply, profoundly loving it. I find myself just nodding and underlining and nodding some more. So grateful for this woman's work. She was on Oprah's Soul Sunday this past weekend and will be on again this coming Sunday. You can watch the first episode here. And it is a must. As in this is your homework. For reals. Yes.

4) I keep coming back to this quote. I think it is going to be my theme this Spring. Yes. Yes. Yes.

5) On the surface, this one is not so delightful: I am officially two months behind with Project Life. I think I'm going to go with what I did last year when I got behind: Print out the photos and get them in without worrying about what day what happened or grouping things by the exact week. February and March might just be two months of photos in whatever configuration makes sense based on the photos I decide to use. Going to get one big batch of iphone photos printed and then add in a few from the big camera. And planning to just start anew with the first week of April, which will be Jon's spring break and feels like good timing. (Reading this over on Ali's blog was very helpful too.) The delightful part is where I'm just going with the flow. Not beating myself up. Not worrying about perfection. Just committing to printing out some photos and putting in a few notes here and there. 

self-portrait as meditation

Phone in hand, I extend my arm, let my face relax, and focus on one word: here. Then I snap the photo. Usually I take somewhere between two and ten photos. Taking 30 seconds to maybe two minutes depending on the moment.

I am capturing me, here, right now. This moment. The realness of it all. From joy to contentment to just being still. The photos reveal new pieces of me every time: beauty and truth and so many stories.

Somewhere in the last few years, taking self-portraits has become my daily meditation. This is the way I know I'm not disappearing in the midst of whatever the day hands me. This is how I remind myself that I can choose in each moment. 

I know it can seem overwhelming to even begin to turn the camera on yourself. Many of us spend a lot of time in a sometimes intense negative inner dialogue about how we look on the outside. And we fear the camera will show the list of flaws we insist we have.

But here is what I know: Capturing myself through my camera lens is helping me to shed the ways I have been talking to myself since I was about eight years old.

The layers of "wishing I looked like" and "believing I would only be happy if" and "maybe I would have more success if I was skinnier" and so many other stories stacked up since third grade when I needed to wear a bra two years before all the other girls in my class.

Now when I look in the mirror and look at self-portraits, I almost always see myself with softness, with compassion. Even when the circles are heavy under my eyes. Even when I am hitting my limit of what the day holds. Even when I have let myself down. The mirror and the camera help me to feel less alone. They help me find space inside me. They help me find my breath. They help me to trust that I am finding my way. 

***

You can find more juicy self-portrait prompts in my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media. I'm delighted to share that I'm selling copies again, this time at a special discounted price of $18. Read more about the book and order it from me right here.

here

Ellie and I are visiting family for a few days. And I made a huge choice: I didn't bring my laptop. I feel so much lighter. Checking email a handful of times a day and only answering what needs to be dealt with right away. Staying mostly away from Facebook. Yes. Lighter.

And I'm playing in a Smash book again. (Found the black one on clearance at Target.) Needed one when all this space not having the laptop creates began to fill with some brainstorming and thoughts that needed to be caught.

The words above are the ones I'm returning to over here. Thinking about how taking even a little break from the online world helps me to hear my own voice again and to shed layers of comparing and shoulds and why haven't I done or why didn't this happen and how the list goes on. 

Shedding.

Trusting.

Listening.

And just being really present to all the stories this little two year old in my life has to share every minute that she's awake.

Yes.

How are things in your corner? What are you shedding, trusting, listening to?

Blessings,
Liz