here: a list

here

chai tea latte, chatter surrounds, adele singing in my ears
cafe date with jonny, each working, choosing to be together

here

new favorite cinnamon wrap made with love
talismans on wrist, ears, neck, reminders of friendship
white even though it's winter and raining with labor day many pages behind

here

gratitude
connection
the choice to be open the only way

***

Thank you for you. For your kindness. For your understanding. It would be silly to pretend that we bloggers never show up simply seeking validation. That was me yesterday. And I deeply appreciate you seeing that without judgement.  

seeking :: connection

(ornament by nina bagley)

This week has been one of those weeks where I've questioned a few things...how I move through the world online and off, why I'm invited to repeatedly sift through a lesson around feeling forgotten and left out, the contrast of that "left-out" feeling with the way I feel called to create safe spaces for women to show up as themselves, why I live in a corner of the world that I really love but I struggle to make deep connections with people in my own community.

Each day, as the morning fog gave way to grey sky, the winter blahs and the lonelies were clashing around and inside me.

Yesterday, after Ellie and Jon left for school, I was eating breakfast in my pajamas and trying to decide if I had time to take a shower and answer the stacking emails before diving into orders. And then all of a sudden, all I could think about was, "Get out of the house girl because you need connection. And PS you need a haircut." 

In that moment, I actually listened to myself instead of brushing off that wiser than me voice. And that action made something shift.

Maybe it was the self-care move of finally getting a haircut. Maybe it was getting out of the house. Maybe it was taking a break from work even though the to-do list is so long. Maybe it was knowing that a few loved ones who have health issues are doing okay right now. 

All I know is that when I opened my heart to connection, I suddenly found it everywhere:

• The delightful chat with my hair stylist and a conversation about cultivating trust so that I don't wait five months to come back and say "I didn't really like the last hair cut" but next time trust her to be able to fix it.
• Laughing with the receptionist at the salon about mama brain and being forgetful.
• An email from a friend telling me how much she has enjoyed our talks lately (and being so thankful since a huge part of our talks has been her holding space for me).
• The way the temperatures warmed and the blue sky peeked out against the tall tall evergreen trees in my front yard and I remembered why I feel so rooted in this part of the world.
• A package from a friend containing not only the bracelet I ordered but also thoughtful treats including the poetry ornament above that will hang in my studio.
• Your beautiful faces smiling back at me and peeks into your world on Instagram.
• The easy chatter with my studio assistant as we packaged orders reminding me why it is so important to not always work alone. Having a home studio is such a gift, but it can get lonely because you don't leave the house. Having someone there so you can say, "What do you think about?" or even just chat about what shows you're watching is such a gift. (And of course it is a plus that she's also Ellie's babysitter too!)
• A few new knitted pieces from my mom, including a cowl meets wrap meets poncho that is exactly like what I've been wanting forever. And hearing the joy in her voice when I called to tell her that.
• The conversation Ellie and I had in the car after I picked her up from school. She tells me stories now. Even though our evening was intense at times because she was really over tired, I continue to feel awe that she can share how she's feeling and what she needs. And she is so darn funny.

And the list just kept going probably because I was paying so close attention and literally making a list in my head. But the truth is that there was a lightness to the day that I simply needed.

Yet, the other feelings are still there at the edges. And I'm aware of them and listening and trying to understand and be open to all that is there. I still feel lonely sometimes. And that is okay. I still wish for a few things to shift. And that is okay. I still keep finding my way and sometimes it feels like I don't. And that is okay. 

But seeking what I feel like I'm missing is where the choice comes in. Seeking connection. Seeking a friendly voice. Seeking understanding. Being open to it can be scary because you might get hurt, it might not go as you hope...but I was reminded again and again yesterday that the being open part is the only way for me.

Thanks for listening...for sharing your light, your stories...for seeking connection so others can know they are not alone, so you can know...

Blessings,
Liz 

seeking truth one photo at a time

Oh truth...

You arrive and sometimes puddle at my feet. You push and pull at me. You sneak in like fog and wait for me to find you when the sun comes up. You confuse me and nudge me and invite me to stretch further than I think I want to.

And the truth is that you feel intangible and hard to find at times. You mingle with another's truth and mirror and hide and sometimes seem to laugh.

But I can't turn away.

I will keep sifting through your layered ways as I take photo after photo trying to find you on my own face.

***

About five years ago, I was talking with a friend and said that I don't tend to take photos of other people at gatherings, but I always take several photos of myself. "I guess I'm a self-portrait photographer" came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. This was before it was "in," before I wrote a book about it, before Instagram, before one easily admitted such things. My friend and I laughed at the time, but I couldn't stop thinking about the incredible, vulnerable truth I had just said aloud.

Taking self-portraits is one vital way I make sense of my everyday. It is how I look for the truth. It is how I check in with myself. It is how I seek confirmation that I am not alone. It is why so many of my Instagram photos are of me, my hands, my feet, my neck, my face, me.

Meeting my own eyes makes me feel deeply seen every time. And when I pair the photos with words pulled right from the guts and make the choice to push publish, I trust that maybe just maybe they will invite you to feel less alone too.

Try it. Take a photo of yourself. I dare you.

senses. a sunday morning adventure in january

{see}

{touch}

{smell}

{taste}

{hear}

{and know}

 

 *****

where: Pike Place Market
when: January 20, 2013

For several years now, I've been using my senses as a creative writing and photography prompt. My senses are my favorite creative tool because they are always available! Finding my senses through my camera lens (or through words) is a great exercise to help me get out of my head and often anchors me and reminds me to notice the beauty around me. I also use it as a meditation.

You can read more about this practice in my book Inner Excavation: Explore Your Self Through Photography, Poetry, and Mixed Media. 

See past posts about the senses here. If you join in with your own senses post, please come back and let me know or send me an email.  

i love poetry {january 21, 2013}

Today, my heart, my spirit, my soul soared as I listened to Richard Blanco read his poem "One Today" at President Obama's Second Inauguration. Listen to it above.

I love poetry.

Yes.

a prayer

May you be safe.
May you listen to the wisdom within you.
May you open your heart to the next outreached hand.
May you remember you are so deeply loved.

*****

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five {really} good things

1) I snapped this photo just after I finished recording the "poem of possibility" that is the list of 2013 "one little words" over on Ali's blog. This is the third year I've done it and each time I enjoy it all the way to the tips of my toes. I really try to think about each word as it's own little one word poem. Makes me so happy. You can listen here.

2) The Seafoam Project Life Kit is here! Love Elise's aesthetic so much (she designed this kit). I dove in right away when the box from Amazon arrived, and I can't wait to use it this year. I'll be pairing it with some favorites from the Clementine edition I bought last fall (it isn't important to me that every layout be from one kit). And I'll be sharing some layouts and ideas and how it's going here on the blog. I loved working with Project Life last year and am almost finished. Just need to do the last two weeks of December. [This is the first time I've ever (almost) completed any kind of big creative project like this for my family. Not kidding. It gives me hope for the unfinished quilts and other good things hiding in my studio AND is proof that this kind of memory keeping really is that easy!]

I share my approach to Project Life in this post and will be sharing more next week. And if you are new to it, head over to Becky Higgins' site to watch an adorable really short video and learn more.

3) Next month, Vivienne is running a new course called "Be Your Own Beloved." I love the premise behind this course: It is a 28 day photo adventure designed to cultivate self-reflection and self-compassion through the practice of taking self-portraits. I am really looking forward to this one. Viv's having a giveaway on her blog right now for one spot, but even if you don't win, I hope you will come along.

 

4) The newest issue of Sprout Magazine (an adorable online e-zine) is all about inspiration. So many inspiring contributors. And I'm delighted that Amanda featured my Soul Mantra jewelry in this issue (there is a free shipping coupon code inside).

5) I've been wearing a lot of headbands lately (as evidenced by my self-portraits on Instagram). I never was really a headband person. My head is not small, which means headbands often squeeze my head until I have a headache. But when my late summer hair cut went a bit awry, I started to look for ways to get through it. Enter the headbands from Specifically Random, a shop I came across last spring. They come in sizes. Yes. Sizes! I've been adding some crochet flower pins to them that my mom sent me. I don't have a link for the pins, but these, these, and these on Etsy look similar. They would also be easy to crochet.

And you? What are five really good things over in your corner of the world? I would love to know.

Happy weekending,
Liz 

it's about inclusion

 

When people ask me why I started the Be Present Retreats, I usually explain my deep desire to create community and a belief that spending a few days away from your daily life immersed in creativity and being present to the world around you will change your life in very good ways. I also talk about noticing that creative retreats are sometimes so filled with activities and "doing" that participants and teachers don't always have the opportunity to slow down, recharge, and listen.

Today, I want to share that over the last few years my reason for hosting these retreats has begun to come down to one thing: 

It's about inclusion.

It's about creating space for people who are longing for a deeper connection with themselves and like-minded souls but don't know where to begin to find this community, don't have this community where they live, or simply want to connect in person in a small group environment. 

It's about working with teachers who are really collaborators who show up as mentors and guides open to new friendships. Then as the retreat begins they sit side by side with retreat participants sharing their stories, giving of their time, and inviting us all to remember we are not alone.

It's about a safe space that invites you to sit in the quiet long enough that you can hear the whispers of truth that have been trying to get your attention for years.

It's about being surrounded by others who say, "me too, me too" and invite you into their lives.

Your Story Retreat 2012 (photo by Vivienne McMaster)

It's not about needing to be cool enough or creative enough or courageous enough or skinny enough or funny enough.

It's about beginning to trust
that you already are enough
when you show up as you.

The photo above, taken by my friend Vivienne McMaster after she attended the first Be Present Retreat a few years ago, represents the gathering of women who will encircle you when you arrive at a Be Present Retreat. 

In this moment, as you sit in your corner of the world, I want you to invite you to hear these words:

A community of kindreds is waiting for you.

Join us this April for Feast.

Frog Creek Lodge (photo by me)

At the Feast Retreat, we will gather at Frog Creek Lodge in the Pacific Northwest woods outside Seattle and spend time sharing, playing, resting, cooking, creating, and dreaming. Through conversations and creative self-care adventures, we will explore the ebb and flow of life and experience ways we can, as Derek Walcott says in his poem “Love After Love”

Feast on your life.

During this five-day soul care gathering, Kelly Barton and Hannah Marcotti will join me in being your guides. As a group, we will cook meals together, play in journals, make necklace and bracelet talismans to take home with us, explore ways to practice self-care, and circle to share stories and make deep connections.

Your Story 2012 (photo by Vivienne McMaster)

When you arrive at this beautiful cabin in the woods, you will find a place where you can: lean into trust and your inner wisdom, open your heart to kindred spirits, and spend time playing, resting, and sitting in the quiet.

AND I am thrilled to announce that Persephone Brown will be joining us as our kitchen guide and chef! She will help us nourish our bodies and souls through food and inspiration during Feast.

This retreat is going to be so good.

Learn more about Feast and register here. (Updated 2/18: Only 4 spots left!)