over here...

one very small dahlia . point defiance park, august 2011

goodness it has been quite a week over here. the usual living stuff combined with jon's return to school and the schedule that brings combined with some pushes and pulls that have me a bit off kilter.

i'm trying to remember the self-care tricks i have up my sleeve while also chasing an always-on-the-move 15-month-old little girl. i'm trying to fit it all in somehow. i'm trying to breathe more than worry. i'm trying to quiet the chatter within. i'm trying to put family first while caring for my dreams. i'm trying to soak up the last few days of blue skies and warmth. i'm trying to let go and listen.

i guess the truth is that in some ways, i'm trying to find my way as i look for all that i already know...as i look for the light that is (always) waiting.

i hope this weekend brings you moments to rest and laugh and breathe it all in...and maybe a cupcake. yes. a cupcake would be perfection right about now, don't you think?

blessings,
liz

brooklyn (2)

backyard restaurant reflection . brooklyn, august 2011

somewhere in the midst of the truths and laughter, i began to believe that magic lives in the spaces between all that might be and all that once was. 

joy seeker (august)

Usually it goes like this: You will suddenly look at one of us and pause whatever you are doing. Then, you will frown. Then you will almost start laughing, but instead, you will frown even deeper. Then, you will close your eyes for a few seconds. Blink. Blink. Blink. Now you will open your twinkling eyes wide. Then, you will giggle until your whole body shakes. You laugh even harder if one of us frowns back at you.

I think this is my most favorite game ever.

*****

the series "joy seeker" is one way that i plan to document the "joy" superhero power that this kid has. i hope to gather these glimpses here on the blog from her first to second birthday, and then, i will put them all together and have them printed in a small book.

live it baby girl {soul mantra stories}

live it baby girl, a whispered soul mantra locket in the shop

People often ask me where the soul mantra phrases come from. Sometimes the phrases arrive almost "on the wind" when I am in my studio working with the letters and lockets, and they push me to pound them into metal. Sometimes the mantras are born from my experiences and from stories my friends share with me. Then there are the phrases that whisper in moments of quiet when I am in the midst of living. 

From time to time, I am going to share these stories, beginning today with the story of the "live it baby girl" soul mantra.

*****

The day was thick with missing and grief.

I walked along the water, my eyes turned toward the spaces between sand and rock, hoping to find the small tumbled glass, hoping it would connect me to her. With each step, the sadness grew as I was pulled back to the last time we walked on the beach years ago. Realizing I remembered so little from that last ocean visit, I wished I could go back, right back, and hear her laughter. As I found the first piece of small, rounded green glass, my chest hurt with the longing to look up and see her a few steps ahead of me. I would call out to her and say, "I found one!" and rush over...my 26-year-old self becoming my 5-year-old self in that moment as I would seek the approval and perhaps even the jealousy of my grandmother. Instead, my 33-year-old self walked alone inside the missing that day.

The tears tapped at the backs of my eyes as I searched between the grey, white, brown rocks, bending over even though my back ached. Tucking the sea glass into my pockets, the truth of grief my companion.

Finally, I unfolded, coming out of the searcher's stance and faced the neverending lapping, pushing, pulling water. I closed my eyes and tried to hear her voice inside the memories, but I kept getting caught up in my own words, "I miss you. I can't remember. I wish...I wish..." Taking a breath, I tried again to hear her. Giving up, I opened my eyes and looked at the mountains in the distance; my face softening with the truths that seemed to float inside me. Then it came:

Live it baby girl. 

Was it her voice? My voice? The voice of something greater than me? I brushed the wondering aside and made the choice to just be right there, breathing in the grief, the truth, the beauty, and all that she taught me.

evening thoughts (in moving pictures)

a few evening thoughts from this corner of the world that i simply wanted to share...

blessings,
liz 

oh this quilt

this summer, this quilt has been our companion as we breathe in life, healing, hope...as we let go and choose love...as we wave to the birds hopping around the yard.

i always want to remember that getting outside and leaning into the simple moments can change my perspective and open me up.

i always want to remember that i can just show up.

i always want to remember that things can be softer if i give them space.

i always want to remember that we live the life we choose...that i live the life i choose.

i always want to remember that this is much more than a quilt. 

brooklyn (part 1)

i just kept thinking about the cosby show . brooklyn, august 2011

the conversation started a few months ago after i saw a note on twitter that made me think, "i'm going to call that girl today." so i picked up the phone and dialed jen lee's number and within moments we were right into the good stuff. we shared stories and ideas and laughed and said "me too" and talked about the work we most want to be doing.

and then we talked some more and a plan began to form that sounded a bit like, "i think you might need to come to brooklyn this summer so you can work on this."

and i stood in my kitchen and the thoughts ran into each other and were filled with phrases like, "i could just get on a plane. by myself. and head across the country to new york city? i could make this choice for myself and my business and work with a friend on a new project just like that? i could ask jon to watch ellie jane during some of his last days of summer break while i do this?" 

the response to all these questions and the others that followed was always: yes. just like that. you can make that choice.

so that is how i found myself in brooklyn in the middle of august in the humidity and the rain and the i might be melting through my clothes but i am so living this dream into reality truths and the stories and the beauty and the moments of feeling deeply seen and the moments of standing inside what i most need to look at and sift through and notice.

good stuff. all of it. good stuff.

three things (plus one)

betty wears a sneak peek of necklaces heading to the shop this week

summer seems to have finally arrived for more than just a day or two in this corner of the world. and because there seems to be more living than writing and photo processing going on around here, my new york posts are still hanging out in my mind instead of on my blog...so this evening, i think i will write a very short list of things i would tell you if you were joining me here at my kitchen table for a small slice of chocolate cake + glass of milk:

1) hello mtn (aka my brother matthew and his partner in crime catherine) has released an EP of four songs! head over here to their page on bandcamp.com to listen and then download your copy. "suitcase song" is my favorite and it does indeed include my brother playing a suitcase...listen closely for the latches.

2) i think you should take a moment to read this post by jen lee. right now. in fact, consider it homework of the best kind. the juicy you are gonna want to write this down and never forget it kind of homework. the post is called "what to do when it still hurts." i have read it about ten times, nodding each time i read about the proclamations. twice i have felt those pinprick tears. and the part about nostalgia. oh my. feeling so grateful that just about this time last week i was in jen's kitchen listening to the music of the mentioned in the post "rosebuds" and telling stories and catching stories and breathing deep. ah brooklyn...miss you big.

3) i am seriously considering a tattoo. (hi dad) i have been considering one for about three years. (hi mom) but i have been waiting until i felt certain of what i want and where. an image for one came to me while i was listening to maya angelou speak earlier this march up in seattle. seeing her speak in person was such an incredible experience that i am still stuck at saying "incredible experience" instead of telling the story that was so big and real and raw and wow that i couldn't sleep much for the three nights that followed because i was so overcome with the beauty of it all. anyway, back to the tattoo. i am thinking about it. for real. and i pretty much love that. (but i might not ever tell you here on the blog if i do get one. see aforementioned peeps in parentheses.)

plus one) a small bit of shop news: i have been working on another batch of new designs this month and plan to get them listed this week. to "make room" for them, i have put several items in the shop on sale. you can find them here.