a proud sister or a little cd release party right here on my blog

my brother (my baby brother. my "oh my goodness i am really realizing he is totally an adult" brother. my incredibly talented brother. my kind hearted brother. my brother matthew.), along with three of his pretty darn incredible friends, who together are daytime volume, have just had their first CD released.

it is called: the day we transposed

it is available: on amazon and at itunes

when he called me last year to tell me he had really finished it (not only did he play the drums and various other instruments, but he recorded all of it, produced all of it, engineered all of it, and did all the other things that happen when an album is made), it was clear he knew he had helped create something incredible. he talked about a life's work represented in eleven songs. of course, he is only 25, so he has a lot more life's work ahead of him. still, it is pretty amazing to realize all that you know and all that you hope to say and show people about what you love is contained in a little package that someone you don't even know can buy on amazon.com.

so pass the cheese tray, little stuffed mushrooms, fruit, and the cabernet (these are just some of the things i would be serving if i actually could have you over for a cd release party) and settle in and listen to some wicked cool songs.

"stop taking my picture, you are acting like a groupie"

(so i might have walked right up to him when he was playing with another band last week and taken his picture...he was just setting up and testing out the sound of the drums before they got started. i mean if i was a groupie he wouldn't have been annoyed...it was just because i am his sister...and that is what sisters do. take photos to show mom.)

why I love poetry…in 153 words or less by me {poetry thursday}

Whittling the long list down, as I have been trying to shape my own poems lately, I found this list…

I love poetry because:
it envelopes me in language
it frees me from fear
it gives me the space to grieve
it cracks me open
it swirls thoughts together into truth
it doesn’t put up with bullshit
it can be a wicked dance of memory and fiction
it assaults the senses
it breathes

(visit poetry thursday to read more responses to this assignment and other good things)

bringing in ritual: laughter {self-portrait challenge}

Throughout my 30 years, I have been poked, elbowed, pointed at, and told that I am too serious. In grade school, I remember hearing kids repeat jokes about the Challenger disaster and they were annoyed with me when I didn’t laugh; I went home and cried as I told my mom about them. When I was even younger, I can hear my parents telling people, “we think she was born 35.” Of course, I don’t even think they were 35 then. But, I agree that it was pretty true sometimes. My first words were a sentence in response to the question my mom asked me every day. “How are you doing Elizabeth?” She would usually then say, “Are you doing fine?” On that day, I guess I looked at her and said, “I’m doing fine, Mom.” Or something along those lines. I guess in a few years I will be catching up to myself.

Being told you are too serious, even by close friends, is something that can wear on a person. “Yes, I know” I want to say, “but I don’t know how else to be.” I have also realized that there were dynamics within my family that invited me to take on this role of being serious a lot of the time, of being “adult” when I was a child. But, I wouldn’t change any of it. Nope. I am growing into a person who really likes herself.

I am also someone who finds a lot of joy in my life. I like to smile. I have been accused of smiling too much. Which means, of course, that those people haven’t met the serious side of me who was born 35. In new situations, I often smile. If you find me smiling a lot but aren’t sure why, chances are I am slightly unsure of myself. Smiling makes people feel better, including me.

When I was ill at the end of last year, I told my friend Heather and my husband on several occasions that all I wanted to do was go to Disney World. I was having a lot of trouble finding the joy in my life. I honestly thought that if someone would just call and say, “you are leaving for The World tomorrow” everything would magically get better. The emotional drama I was experiencing, the health confusion, the fear, the anger…all of it. If I could just go to Disney World. To explain, I don’t mean I think Disney World takes it all away. (Never fear, I get the people who think the commercialism there is pretty crazy, not to mention the prices.) Nope. I mean I wanted to give my brain a rest. I wanted my senses to just get enveloped by the smell of chocolate chip cookies on Main Street USA, the music that fills the air, the sushi at the Matsu No Ma Lounge…and on and on. I just wanted a vacation from my life. But a vacation where I wouldn’t have time to think about it all. My friend Heather said something about how the reason I love Disney World so much is because someone else takes care of me there. The hotels, the people who work there…and I get to stand in line to hug a big monster named Sully (yep, you really get to hug him there – it is the best!). I get to giggle with glee like I did when I suddenly found myself surrounded by Chip, Dale, and Goofy at the MGM Studios. I get to peer with eyes of wonder at the landscape of France in the 360-degree movie at Epcot. I get to have high tea at the Grand Floridian Hotel. I get to see giraffes right outside my hotel room when I stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. I don’t have to drive; I just take a bus or the monorail. The soap has Mickey Mouse on it. I am given a break from all that thinking, from the lessons that need to be learned, from the many serious thoughts that invade my space all the time.

But in this desire to escape from the lessons, I find another lesson. What is it that I love? I love the laughter. I get to feel like a kid. That is why I love Disney World. I get to be an 8 year old. Finally.

So this year, I know I probably won’t make it to Disney World, but I plan to invite more laughter into my life. I want to read books filled with humor and watch funny movies. I want to sit with friends and tell funny stories. I want to go and hear comedians. I want to laugh until my cheeks hurt. I want to laugh until I cry.

I extend the invitation to bring laughter into my life.

Here I am giggling with Chip, Dale, and Goofy...

visit more people who are taking self-portraits at self-portrait challenge.

a day full of goodies (and lots of pinks and reds)

buttons i bought while thrifting today.

my adorably wondrous teacup i received in the mug swap. thank you turquoise cro!!! i love it...and can't wait to enjoy a nice cup of tea in it. she also included a delightful creamer/small pitcher, tea, and a beautiful collage...which you can see in the photo below (it is hanging on the bottom left). can't wait to find out what next month's swap will be.

just a little snippet of the magnetic board in my little room.

my new (eBayed) strawberry shortcake lunchbox. i had one when i was a kid and i have been looking for another one for years. found it. had to have it.

my package from purlsoho arrived...

i am up to something with all this new fabric...and plan to share in a couple of weeks.

i am going to make something just for me (and, of course, something that goes in my little room) from these.

it's late...it's still the weekend...so here's a photo of my couch companion...

millie enjoys the snow last week

just a little

it has melted.
all of it.
and i have to admit something.
i miss it.
just a little.

inspiration in a line {poetry thursday}

This week’s prompt is a fun one. All the different lines people shared in the comments on this week’s (completely and totally optional) idea post over at Poetry Thursday inspired me quite a bit. In a way, I wish they would have each posted a blog post about why they chose that line of their own poetry.

I borrowed a line from Megan (you can read her original poem here). I decided to wait to read her poem until I was ready to share mine. And I was delighted in the serendipity of both of us finding inspiration in fruit. Megan, thank you for sharing this line...I appreciate the places it took me with this poem.

I am still trying to write shorter poems with few adjectives/adverbs…though this one was a bit longer than the other ones I have been playing with lately. It is a draft, but I will share it all the same.

portraits

leaning against the counter,
cup of tea in hand,
looking at the apples
resting in a clean white bowl:

when I am down the hall or
at the store or
when my back is turned
as I stand at the stove,
do my grandmother,
her mother,
and her mother’s mother
talk to one another,
share secrets, and
peek in on me
as though their portraits exist
in Rowling’s world?

last week,
after I poured the slices
of fuji, jonagold, and granny smith
and watched them simmer,
did my grandmother pause their conversation and say,
“she is adding the spices now”
and then appear over my shoulder
as I tossed in the sugar,
sprinkled in nutmeg, and then
tapped the jar of cinnamon against the side of the pan,
so that I could hear her whisper,
“don’t you think that’s a bit too much?”

bringing in ritual: gratitude {self-portrait challenge}

the ritual of pausing to spend a moment alone drinking tea, pausing to think about ways in which i am grateful.

this year, i am making it part of my day to spend time thinking about what brings happiness, excitement, joy, laughter, calm, truth, color, peace, light into my life. what makes up this life i lead. what resonates deeply and what just brings a little sparkle.

each day i am pausing to have a moment alone, usually with a cup of tea, and then i am capturing that moment with a polaroid. i then write a little paragraph about this moment in a journal, followed by a list of things i am grateful for that day. if this moment alone is earlier in the day, i add to the list before i go to sleep.

i am collecting these snippets, the polaroids and my words, over on my not-so-secret blog called seek gratitude.

i have always thought of myself as someone who is always just a tad bit lonely and often just a wee bit melancholy. pausing to really notice the good stuff, this is one way to shift this perception of myself a bit. to really see what this life i lead is truly filled with.

the good stuff.

(see more self portraits over at self-portrait challenge)