books. books. books.

Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled "This could change your life."
Helen Exley

(these books arrived today from Chronicle Books. gifts to others and one to me...oh and if you look closely you can see a couple of gifts from here.)

why i love this man

because he takes the dog out when it is cold and dark...always.
because he brings laughter into my life.
because he invites me to look at the world in a new way. every day.
because he recognizes something in me that I didn't think even existed.
because he loves science and wants to share it with others.
because he is crabby pants man in the morning but then he will laugh or smile because of me. I love that moment when I help him remember who he is.
because he is patient with all of my stuff...that stuff of life we deal with.
because he loves it when I sing.
because he embraces the spiritual journey I am on without judgement.
because even though he may have been a republican in a past life, he is learning to embrace the independent inside.
because he appreciates me.
because he would never invite me to be someone I am not.
because he and his family invited me into their lives with such ease.
because even though he really doesn't like christmas music, he doesn't get too annoyed when I play it all the time in december and will even change the CD when it stops.
because he wanted to move to this glorious part of the country.
because he tells me I am beautiful.
because he isn't perfect. and doesn't expect me to be.
because he loves walking around barnes and noble just as much as I do.
because he understands that sometimes I am sad. and that is okay.
because he has the kindest heart I have ever met.
because he is my hero.

senses. warmth.

Inspired by this post by Frida on Muse to Muse, I have decided to dedicate one post a week to the senses.

See...
The sunlight warms Millie's face as we stand outside together. She is looking for squirrel chasing possibilities, but I like to think that she is happy to feel the sun again. Maybe both. She gives me the gift of learning more patience as she chases those squirrels when I want her to come back inside because I am running late. She reminds me to laugh as she curiously inspects our Christmas tree. She personifies contentment when she curls up on the couch next to me as I work on yoga homework - she puts her head on my arm and watches me write. She is beautiful.

Hear...
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...
and all that good stuff. I will say it here again, I love Christmas music. And I love to be in concert as I sing. In the car, at home, while I work (at home), and sometimes you might catch me singing in a soft whisper at a store this time of year. Some songs are funny, some poignant, some invite a tear, others are full of joy - literally. My heart feels just a little lighter when I hear these songs.

Smell...
These cookies baking (if you have been afraid to make sugar cookies, make this recipe...they are amazing. and email me for little tips if you need them!). I have made them almost every holiday season for 15 years. The almond extract gives them a wonderful smell. And a new favorite baking tradition - this cake. As it bakes the smell torments you as your nose tells your stomach "it's time for some of that." You can frost it while it is still a little warm. Perfect. (especially if you are like me and you love pumpkin, but not when it comes in pie form.)

Touch...
Lush, soft, warm throws from Churchill Weavers. I have had one near me since I was born. My "pink blanket" years ago. Now I have one in almost every room. I once drove five hundred miles wearing one as a shawl after my heart was just a little bit broken. I was driving through Berea, stopped at the store, and wrapped myself and my heart up to heal. Wrapping up in self-kindness can often be a cure. And these blankets help remind you to do that.

Taste...
peppermint mochas...pumpkin spice lattes...peppermint tea...
The flavors dance on your tongue. Remind you of snowy days and being warmed by the fire. Feel the warm liquid slide down your throat as it warms your belly. Take the time to enjoy. Sip by sip. Find your favorite flavor. Let this be a daily meditation this time of year.

And know...
There is a light inside of you that glows in these winter months. Warm yourself up.

a piece of me

This is a collage that I created for a woman who is in my yoga teacher training. The tag is fixed by a little brad so you can move it, and if you peak under it, you will find: be you.

She climbs mountains. People who do this create awe in my soul. I think it is amazing. Over the holidays, she is going to africa to climb mt. kilimanjaro. In awe.

(Have I mentioned that I am in the midst of this two year intensive teacher training in viniyoga? we meet one weekend a month - June 2004-June 2006. This is our december weekend. Two afternoons filled with honest conversation, study of the movement of the body, reflection, laughter, growth, sangha.)

I realize that my first attempts in this world of "art" are simply that: first attempts. I share them with you as I (try to) let go of the inner critic. To listen to the other voice inside that says create, give, let go, laugh. To be brave enough to give someone a little piece of me.

Leaving Pieces by Brain Andreas

She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
It's easier to feel the sunlight without them, she said.

gift ideas, take one

Some "stuff" to give (or receive/request) this holiday season:

For the brain:

This secret book (from the creator of the Post Secret website)
Sabrina Ward Harrison's new journal
A book about a wonderful art project full of suggestions for all
And this fantastic boardgame - a game for everyone!

For decorating you, your loved ones, your home:

These charms for you to wear, hang, enjoy. The creative fairy is my favorite. Oh but I also like the silly girl fairy and the artful fairy. And I can relate a bit too much to the TV fairy.
A t-shirt (or find another one from this great site - their $10 sale ends Thursday at noon CST so check them out soon!)
This wacky tote bag - reminds me of my atari days
Unique collars for your loved ones with four legs

Just for fun:
An uglydoll (but they are really quite cute)
Some out of this world creatures
And one splurge (or at least a splurge in my world...)

{I wanted to list a few more here but our internet connection is my current nemesis...so stay tuned for gift ideas, take two...}

SPT 12/6

realize the incredible power you have to choose your attitude at any given moment. this choice, more than anything, guides the course of your life.
jo uhlman
(quote and artwork by jo)

i bow to these words and what they represent. let them seep into my soul. let me remember them as a reflection of my heart's wish for my presence in each moment. i can choose how i react to everything.

night

Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

(photo: playing with my camera and the night sky, 12/5/05, canon digital rebel)

drumming

Today we bought our Christmas tree. Always fun picking one out. My husband has endless patience with me as I try to find the one that I know is ours. It takes me a while. And somehow we spent a lot more money than planned because we found the right one - right outside our price range. (His patience is not so much present as we try to get it up in the house...but still, we got it up...at least this year it was smaller than the one we had last year when we had to cut a little of the top so it would fit.)
Then the decorating begins.
I sing to Christmas music as I take out each ornament and soak in the memories.
I love the colors, the shapes, the sparkles, the silly, the serious. The ones from my childhood, my days in college when I put up a tree every year, the ones J. and I purchased together.
And as I sang, this line from the little drummer boy stood out to me:
"I played my drum for him...I played my best for him..."
Now, the little drummer boy is not necessarily my favorite Christmas song. It is a classic, so I like it in an "I have known the words all my life" kind of way. Still, I never really identified with it. But then today, I really heard that line.
The idea that you do the best you can. Even when, in this case, you are playing music for someone who, one day, thousands of people would follow.
To do your best. No matter the audience. All you can do.
To own what you do and do it well. All you can do.
To let go of fear and shame. All you can do.
And just play.

I celebrate Christmas as a tradition. As a time of year when we decorate and sing and share. I try not to get too caught up in the buying part, but that is hard. I want people to feel so good when they open a gift I give them. So many people do not like the holidays, and I want to create a moment of happiness for them. I try to tune out the craziness...as much as possible. Focus instead on the joy. I do the best I can in the midst of the expectations, dreams, hopes, disappointments.
I celebrate Christmas as a story. A beautiful, fantastic story. Of a woman and a man with hopes, dreams, and expectations; a woman and a man who had a baby. A baby boy who grew up and shared a message of peace.
I celebrate Christmas as a part of my spiritual journey. One part. This one fantastic story reminds me of the need for peace, love, joy in my life and in the world. As I travel on this journey, attempting to piece together the puzzle of my understanding of spirit, I do the best I can.
And this year, I want to remember to let go. Of expectations, disappointments. And just play.