there are things i want to tell you

little me, 2 years old

I want to tell you about the mushroom sauce my mother made tonight that I want to bottle and eat every single day. I want to tell you about how my whole body feels lighter each time Ellie communicates with more words. I want to tell you about how much Poem It Out is helping me focus on what I feel called to do in this world. I want to tell you about how being in community with people who love poetry is filling an empty place I didn't realize I had right in the middle of my body. I want to tell you about the glass of water I just drank and how it slipped across my tongue and slid down into my belly. I want to tell you about how I have stepped outside my internal perceptions about what I can do and have ended up cheering out loud. I want to tell you about how luxurious it feels to have someone else do my laundry. I want to tell you about how I didn't know I needed to let someone else do some things for a bit so I could come back to center. I want to tell you about how it really is okay to say yes and then no. I want to tell you about the sound of the rain pounding against the roof and how it somehow invites in a sense of calm. I want to tell you about the intense beauty of scanning old photos knowing I will always have them. I want to tell you about the peace I feel each time I look at this photo of the little girl me.

Sometimes making a list is the best gift you can give yourself.