Self-Care Move: Try a Candle Meditation

Lighting a candle with intention is something that is done in many religions. Candles are often used to represent a higher power or the four elements. Lighting a candle can be used to begin meditation; then the candle is extinguished when the meditation draws to a close.

The act of extinguishing the candle should be part of the ritual. My teacher once gently told me this has two reasons: The first being that it signifies the end to the practice and the second to remember to extinguish the candle as to avoid burning down the house. 

Bringing a candle into your meditation practice invites in ritual, but it can also provide something for you to focus your attention on. Here's one way to practice what I simply call a candle meditation:

With this meditation, you want a clear space where you can place your candle. It should be free from clutter and distractions. You don't want to worry about anything catching on fire or a pet or child knocking over the candle.

This meditation is best done seated. It's a good idea to have the candle pretty close to eye level so that you don’t find yourself bending forward to look at it. Also, let it be at least a foot away from you so that it isn’t too bright. 

When you’re ready, light your candle, and as you do, create an intention for yourself for this moment. It might be something like, "I connect to the light within and around me." or "Let these breaths center and support me." or "Just be right here. Noticing. Letting the day go for these moments." You could also use just one or two words as your intention, like breathe, notice, be here.

After you light the candle, bring your gaze to it. Watch it as you breathe. Inhaling, being right here. Exhaling, watching the candle. You might want to imagine that you’re inhaling the light inside you and then exhaling it over you.  

Do this for 3-5 minutes the first time you try it. Letting your gaze just soften on the candle as you breathe. 

If looking at the candle is too bright, let yourself just look over it or below it. Your gaze should be soft. You can also do this with your eyes closed, imagining the candle in your mind or just keeping an awareness that it is near you.

Explore other meditations here.

Candle pictured above is from one of my favorite candle companies, P. F. Candle Co, which you can find at one of my favorite shops: Moorea Seal.

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Bottom photo by Lauren Oliver Photography

rooted {a meditation}

A meditation for you to try today:

Some mornings I wake up with a feeling of being disconnected from what's happening around me. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm feeling grief tap me on the shoulder. Maybe I'm letting the "I am not enough" gremlins tap at me. On those days, I sometimes turn to a meditation I like to call "rooted" to invite me to remember that I do know how to feel grounded in my life and to help me remember to call on the earth for support. Here's how I practice this meditation. This can be a beautiful practice done outside but most days I just do it right inside in my studio or living room.

I stand barefoot and bring my awareness to my breath.

As my breath begins to lengthen, I start to imagine I'm exhaling down through my body, all the way through the soles of my feet. I literally imagine I can feel my breath exhale down through my chest, belly, pelvis and hips, legs, and feet.

After a few breaths like this, I begin to imagine roots are growing from my legs and anchoring me to the earth.

When I feel that grounding, I bring awareness to my next inhale and imagine drawing up energy from the earth through my roots and into my body. 

I keep breathing, noticing, letting my body, heart, breath deeply connect to the earth continuing to use that image of drawing up energy through my roots and into my body.

Staying here for as long as feels right in that moment.

When I feel complete, I pause, bring my palms together at my heart, and say "thank you" to the earth for holding and supporting me.

Meditation note: Sometimes when you try standing meditations with your eyes closed, you can get a bit dizzy. I avoid this by swaying just a bit and being sure not to lock my knees.

the five deep breaths practice

I often mention the practice of taking five deep breaths as one I turn to daily. A few people have asked me more about this practice and why I recommend it so much, so here's some more information all in one place to help you get started using this simple but deeply effective self-care practice that can truly help you throughout your day.

Why five deep breaths? Pausing to breathe deeply for a few moments becomes a way to remind my body that it does know peace and stillness. Those first three deep breaths create enough space for my body to relax. With the fourth, my mind realizes it can rest for a moment. And by the fifth, I am recentered and back into my body and heart. Sometimes, by that fifth breath, I can even though just enough peace to trust what I know inside my heart in that moment.  

This is the practice that saves me again and again. Noticing. Breathing. Letting go of the day. I use it as a grounding practice throughout the day; I also use it as first aid when I'm going through a difficult time or just having an upside down, challenging day (or moment). 

How to use this practice: 

Close your eyes. Bring your hand to your heart. 

With the first breath, relax your shoulders.

With the second, notice how your breath moves in your body.

With the third, try to let go of anything pulling on you.

With the fourth, feel the space you create inside you.

With the fifth breath, let your mind rest in this space. 

As you continue working with this practice, give yourself reminders to pause and take these five deep breaths throughout your day. You could set a timer on your phone or put up a few sticky notes. I have "five deep breath" collection in my shop with jewelry, a pocket talisman, and even stickers to remind you of this practice. Think about what kind of reminders you need to begin to integrate this practice into your daily life.

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you have all the tools you need {a meditation}

An invitation to remember that you hold all you need inside you. (You can hear me read this audio meditation right here.)

Give yourself permission
to let this moment,
this moment
right now,
be just for you.

Find your breath.

Notice your next inhale,
then the exhale that follows.

Let your mind rest
inside the movement
of your breath
in your body.

Find the rhythm of your breathing.

Inhale,
chest opens.
Exhale,
shoulders relax.
Inhale,
heart opens.
Exhale,
feel the space inside you.

When you are ready
to return
to whatever your day holds,
know this:

You have all the tools you need for this day
and the next
and the next.

(yes.)

PS For more little reminders and love notes like this one, sign up for my (almost) weekly newsletter (where I also share stories of my real, true adventures in self-care and living with my heart open).

compassion

When you read these words,
I hope you will pause
right here. 

Take a breath with intention,
and then another.
Let your shoulders relax,
feel your heart expand,
your feet ground you into the earth.

Then, when you are ready,
inhale and send compassion
out into the world
to anyone you know
who needs it.

Exhale and let this compassion
settle over you.

Then repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Let compassion lead you
as you take your next step. 

*****

PS For more little reminders and love notes like this one, sign up for my (almost) weekly newsletter (where I also share stories of my real, true adventures in self-care and how I'm building my own bridges in my life).

let there just be love. {a meditation}

 

Let this be a simple meditation for you today. As you read each word, just be right here. Breathing. Being. Choosing.

In this moment,

right now,

give yourself permission

to take a breath in

and feel the space 

around your heart

open.

  

And as you exhale,

all the stuff

you are carrying today

slips off your shoulders.

  

For this moment,

let there

just be

love

love 

love.

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a sunshine citrus meditation

I'm a big believer in practicing meditation that is a right fit for you. For some people this means getting up every morning and sitting for 15 minutes in the quiet. For others this means watching the sunset at a park near their home. It can mean taking five deep breaths with intention. It could even be singing a song you love or coloring (yes, coloring).

I see meditation as an act of mindfulness that quiets your mind and creates space inside you. And while you're practicing it, you have a deep awareness of your breath as you try to soften your mind, your heart, and be as present as possible in your body. 

(This is the part where I say I deeply appreciate that there are a lot of schools of thought around meditation. This is mine. It is totally okay if you have another way of looking at it.)

I want to start sharing some of my favorite meditations with you - the simple ones I do that recharge me, ground me, and help me support myself.

Today: A Sunshine Citrus Meditation aka the one that gets me through the winter blues

First, you'll need to gather your favorite citrus fruit.

I have a bowl of little cuties here, because they make me so happy. But you only need one piece of fruit. And my favorite favorite way to do this meditation is to stand at the kitchen sink eating a ruby red grapefruit as the juice drips down my chin. I peel it like an orange and dive in. Choose whatever brings you joy.

Second, pause and still your body and mind. 

Stand or sit and notice your body. Let your shoulders drop away from your ears; let your face relax. Begin to notice your breathing. Notice how your chest expands on the inhale. See if you can keep your spine long even as your exhale.

Third, use your senses.

Holding the orange in your hand, use your senses as you get a little curious. How does it feel? Smell? Describe the color to yourself. Just notice all that you can about this little piece of fruit.

Then, begin to peel it and continue to notice what your senses have to tell you. How does the texture change? Can you hear the peel coming off the orange? List everything about this orange in your mind. You might even have some memories coming up. Just notice them and come back to this moment, this orange, this act of peeling.

Fourth, feel the sun.

Feel the sun? Yes! Here's what I mean: As you continue peeling your orange, think about the sun that grew this orange on the tree that was its home. Think about how the sun helped the orange blossoms bloom, how it warmed the tree all the way to its roots. Imagine that sun, that warmth.

Close your eyes and breathe and feel that sun.

(It's okay if this feels a little cheesy. Do. It. Anyway.)

Fifth, take a bite.

As you begin to eat the orange, imagine that this sun is becoming part of you. Warming you from the inside with each bite. The sun that warmed the gorgeous orange outside of this orange to help this fruit come to be is now inside you. It's part of you.

How cool is that?

Sixth, just be right here.

After you finish eating your orange, take a moment to just be. Breathing. Noticing. Finding that small space between your inhalations and exhalations.

Yes.

Just be right here.

*****

You might also be interested in the downloadable (free) guided meditations that I share here.

All photos taken by Vanessa Simpson | Focus in Photography

creating space within

Sometimes you need to simply pause right here, find your breath, and remember the truth that rests inside you.

To pause and breathe and remember to trust what you know.

Today, through this video/guided mediation, I am inviting you to do just that.

***

If you feel called to continue the conversation about ways to create space within you and around you, come along to the next session of Create Space that begins next week. This will be the last time I am offering this class until next year (perhaps the last time in this form), so if you have been feeling called to join in, I hope you will. Learn more about Create Space and register here.