point defiance park . august 2009 (photo by jon)
On June 3, we began our journey toward a new normal with a new member of our family, and just as we were finding our footing, another path appeared to add an entirely new layer to this "normal."
And here we are.
Patience is our new mantra.
On Monday, when we met with Ellie's cardiologist, Dr. S, the above quote from the Buddha floated through my mind. For the first two years of this blog, this quote appeared in my banner. Dr. S is very "be present, be here" as she pushes us to stay in this moment instead of moving our minds ahead toward the "what ifs." We have a pact; when she looks me in the eye and says "and now I am concerned," I can then start to really worry. Until then, we are waiting and breathing. Even though on paper, things are...well...somewhat scary, all of us are waiting and breathing. Ellie's medication is working, which means her heart isn't working quite so hard (which is good). We will be visiting Dr. S every couple of days for a bit to make sure Ellie's heart finds its way to the rhythm we want. (There is of course a story that tells the details of what we are experiencing, but just like my experience with my pregnancy and Ellie's birth, I am just not quite ready to go into all those details yet. Time...time...)
So here is the scoop I want to share: As we find our way in this new normal, I am finding that when I let my mama brain rest sometimes and allow my creative brain to take over, I feel more myself and can be a lot more present. So even though I will still share updates of how Ellie is doing and we will be spending time in doctors' offices and all that fun stuff, I am going to keep the creative juices flowing in this space as it feels right.
So stay tuned for:
More about my experience writing Inner Excavation (and a peek at the cover!)
A sneak peek of the amazing contributors who are in my book
A new necklace series in the shop
A new design to the shop
A few new collaborations
More about upcoming Be Present Retreats
...and a few other things
Thank you again for all of your kind words, prayers, emails, phone calls...we continue to feel so surrounded in love and hope. Even though we know we have no control over what is to come, each day, Jon and I look into Ellie Jane's eyes and believe that all will be okay. Thank you for believing along side us.
Blessings and light,