many mugs of genmai-cha tea
bringing true honesty to conversations with friends (speaking my truth…really doing it…i am vibrating with happiness about how free i feel)
time spent with friends over the weekend: laughing, talking, eating, and playing a delightfully hilarious game of cranium.
a house that is pretty clean (still, even after three days since we cleaned)
jerri’s invitation to the blogging community to participate in a tonglen meditation this saturday. it is a meditation to send healing and compassion to mark (darlene’s son and denise’s nephew) and his family. for more details, check out this post.
a package that came in the mail from my mother yesterday. over christmas, she and my brother visited my grandfather. she asked me if there was anything i wanted in the house as my grandfather was asking. i said something along the lines of realizing that what I had wanted, a piece of clothing of my grandmother’s, was long gone. my mom said, “no, we didn’t get rid of all the clothing.” “is the grey sweatshirt with the chickadees still there?” “yes, i think so.” when you miss someone, you don’t really want the random tea set you never even saw that the person kept in the china closet. it is nice to have. but when you deeply miss the person, at least in my experience, you want something that really represents the person to you. and this sweatshirt, one my brother and i gave her for christmas years ago, is that. her. my mom sent the sweatshirt and some other articles of clothing. as i unpacked the box, there was this blue windbreaker. i gasped. i had forgotten it. i said aloud, “my grandmother lives in this.” jon looked up from across the room. “my grandmother lives in this,” i said again. puttering in the yard, feeding the ducks at the lake, walking together on the beach, sitting outside in the fresh air. she did all these things in this windbreaker. i touch it and i touch her. i touch her.
“proud mary”—tina’s version—loud. while dancing. all around my house. repeat.
all the songs from paul simon’s album graceland. all afternoon and evening i listened to these songs as i worked, cooked, twirled, ate dinner, blogged, chatted, twirled some more.
moments when my husband just settles in and enjoys himself.
moments when i know. this is the path. this is the path. this is the path.