what is real.

A video posted by liz lamoreux (@lizelayne) on Dec 12, 2014 at 3:12pm PST

Over here:

I woke up knowing I did not get enough sleep.

I went back to bed for 20 minutes after Ellie and Jon left for school. It helped.

I hammered lots of phrases into metal before rushing off to Ellie's classroom to volunteer.

Halfway there I remembered I hadn't brushed my teeth.
For real.
I proceded to swish water around my mouth for about a mile and searched for a mint in my purse and came up with Burt's Bees tinted lip gloss which smells minty.

The kids were having snack time when I got there. I asked Ellie for a cheddar bunny and hoped for the best.

I was in charge of the table where the kids made snowmen on paper bags that they're going to use as gift bags. I explained the steps as we went but also just let them do their thing. This meant one of them made a triangle nose that was smaller than a nickel. The rest of them made noses that were more like life-sized carrots (like the example the teacher had made that I was trying to help them recreate). I heart the kid who wanted to just stick that little nose on the side of her bag. Most of the kids made something that kind of but totally did not look like the example. I stayed longer and helped take the kids to lunch (hard to say no when Ellie says "Please mama please come sit with me at lunch.") When her teacher sees them, I wonder if she's going to think "I'm probably not letting Eleanor's mom help with the crafty things again."*

Being at Ellie's school is a real treat and I'm happy my schedule is flexible enough that I can volunteer sometimes. When I'm there I want to work there. For real.

I lost work time unexpectedly, which was okay but still real.

I came home to some emails that turned me upside down a bit.

I got into a mood.

I turned on Taylor Swift (see above).

I remembered how I wanted to come to this space to write up some gift guides for you guys because I'm finding the most delightful things as I curate over on Pinterest. I'm hoping to make them soon, but until I do, if you're a Harry Potter fan, you gotta see this mug.  

While I was in the studio gathering gemstones and dancing, Millie ate six bagels. Millie, our golden retriever who we think is allergic to gluten. Now here's the thing, on one hand I'm kind of impressed. I mean, I couldn't eat six bagels in six hours. On the other. Shit.

Right now, I'm writing this list and thinking about how some things happening in our country right now have me so confused and sad. So I just keep lighting candles and sending love and compassion and peace out into the world. It's all I've got sometimes. Maybe you feel the same way.

And now it's time to for dinner and continuing to work with Ellie on her new needlepoint llama. Please let the evening be full of ease. For you too.

Love,
Liz

*I have a story coming about how I'm not crafty. I mean I know that I seem like I should be crafty and all, but I'm really not. I'm more like a deer in headlights when it comes to crafty things. For example, helping Ellie make her raccoon totem for school. Intense. More on that soon.

here

Here we're cuddling on the couch watching holiday movies and hoping her cold doesn't get worse.

Here I'm getting into the picture even when I don't have on make-up and my dirty hair is every which way and I look as weary as I feel.

Here I'm listening to Anne Lamott read Help Thanks Wow and feeling gratitude.

Here I'm wondering if my uncle feels peace a year after his death.

Here we're crafting and art journaling and making Christmas gifts and listening to Taylor Swift on repeat.

Here patience is waning and I'm trying to remember the ways I used to be able to find the day's last thread of it all the way down in my toes.

Here I'm excited about twinkle lights and Christmas music.

Here I'm hoping a Trader Joe's turkey breast will be enough this week. 

Here I'm excited about this new necklace.

Here I'm looking forward to hearing my brother's laughter at my table this Thursday.

Here we're practicing kinder words and softer voices.

Here I almost ugly cried out loud sobbed during Hook tonight. (First time I watched it since he died, maybe even since Ellie was born. It is a favorite favorite favorite.)

Here I'm wearing this sweater almost every day.

Here there will be scones tomorrow.

Here I'm so in love with this post from Hula.  

Here I'm wondering about what my word of the year might be. Nothing has come to the surface yet. My ears and heart are open universe.

Here I'm really thankful for my dad's sobriety.

Here I'm considering rereading the Chronicles of Narnia.

Here I'm thinking about how just showing up as me is the path to joy.

Here I'm trying on setting down the desire to know all that is coming next when it comes to a few things over here and trusting that the next step will appear soon. Or at the very least, I'm believing that just sitting still will be okay for a little while.

because...

Because sometimes your five deep breaths have to end with a little shake it out.

Because there are so many stories I want to tell you but when I come to this blank page I get quiet.

Because I'm trying on rest and recharging after the Fill It Up Buttercup Retreat.

Because a few ideas are simmering but the next move hasn't presented itself.

Because silliness is actually a very good companion to stillness.

Yes.

Hope things are full of joy and light in your corner.

(I used Instagram's "embed" feature to share this little video. I think it is so odd that the likes are recorded but alas, I don't know any other way to quickly share it. And it makes me happy. So there you have it. Oh and I made it using the PartyParty app.)

they were dancing

On Saturday morning, the air was thick with the grumps. The "it took us 45 minutes to get out of the house just to go to the bakery" kind of grumps. The "nothing I said was the right thing" kind of grumps. You might know those kinds of grumps.

But we went to the bakery anyway.

And after a lot of questions like "why don't they have chocolate cupcakes today," they went to find us a table while I paid. As I waited for my chai tea latte, I looked up and saw this.

They were dancing.

Dancing.

And in that moment I thought to myself, "We're doing something right around here...even on the days it feels like things are upside down and we don't really know what we're doing."

Even on those days, there is dancing.

Yes.

here.

view from the pier at my mom's house in northern wisonsin

This is my "want to do list" today:

Rest. Find the kitchen table under all the mail. Watch the last two weeks of The Voice. Let the hangover from nostalgia from the weekend spent at my 20-year high school reunion settle a bit. Laundry. Unpack (maybe). Rest. Put email off for one more day. Create a new altar next to the bed to help me reground after all that travel. Dip my toes into Pixie's Boundaries Boot Camp (there is still time to join in!)

I also want to stand outside under the blue sky for a few minutes and maybe even take a nap out there on a blanket. I want to soak up the silence, and then pick up Ellie ready to dive into bubbles and eating dinner on the backporch. And as my fingers itch to keep typing to make this list even longer, I'm realizing it might be time to make a true "want to do this summer" list and start checking things off. (Perfect a biscuit recipe. Pick strawberries. Get in touch with a few people who didn't make it to reunion. Risk saying "hey, do you want to come over for dinner." And how the list goes on.)

My hope is to post here more often. I have stories swirling around inside me and a few other ideas I want to plant in this space. I want to get out my big girl camera more and capture this beauty of this part of the world this time of year. I want to remind you that you are not alone. I want to invite you on a few adventures. Yes yes yes.

But first, I'm going to unearth something for lunch...

seeking magic

At first glance, there was a little girl picking up grass from Grandma's yard and bringing it onto the deck and throwing it everywhere. And it would have been easy to say, "Stop making that mess."

But if you listened closely, you could hear a little girl singing a song about how fun it is to dance and decorate Grandma's house with beautiful golden sparkles as she ran back and forth and twirled and smiled and giggled.

And if you looked really close, you could learn this really beautiful lesson: You really can create your own magic.

Just like that.

(And sometimes letting them make a mess is the best parenting move you can make.)

here.

here a little one teaches us about resilience.

here a woman feels laughter shake out the cobwebs.

here the flowers are bursting with audible exhales.

here the hummingbird chirps.

here the sky appears with unexpected blue.

here is a dream about picking fresh berries.

here black pen slides across the blank page.

here the old story slips into the earth.

here there is a wondering, a sadness, a hope.

here the neverending cold is not fading.

here beads are wrapped, words are hammered, talismans are created.

here days are measured in mugs of tea.

here hand to heart, breathe in, breathe out.

*****

"Here" is on of my favorite creative prompts. You can use it to capture photos of what "here" looks like in your corner. You can try to make sense of your world with a poem note. You can make a list and add it to Project Life. You can fill up a whole page with here. Try it.

around here

 

Snow. It rarely happens, so looking out the window last night and seeing a couple of inches brought about feelings of pure joy inside. Each winter I miss my Midwest roots even while I hold the gratitude of never needing to shovel or drive in it anymore. Having it stick around all day today when we had no where to go was awesome. 

While Ellie was sitting on Jon's lap while watching the Olympics yesterday, this conversation happened:
Ellie: "Valentine's Day is a season of family."
Jon: "Did you make that up or did someone tell you that?"
Ellie: "No one told me and I did not make it up. Valentine's Day is a season of family!"
Me (softly to myself): "That was awesome."

The days leading up to Valentine's Day have been busy ones for my shop, and I'm deeply grateful. From parents sending daughters away at college little reminders that they are loved to so many beautiful souls buying the kindred necklace set with the intention of keeping one and giving the other to their dear soul friends to sisters giving their siblings sets of talismans, my heart is honestly smiling. 

In the midst of it all, Ellie's had an on-again off-again fever that has her going from leaning against me almost asleep to running around with endless energy with hardly a breath between. Intense. Lots of crafting and reading and watching movies and cuddling while she sleeps on me and forgiving myself when I lose it a wee bit and breathing deeply. (And yes, I did let her go outside for a few minutes because she was feeling better and, hello, snow! Because she has only been in it once before, her version of "playing" is "Mama, I must clean the snow off of all the furniture in the backyard." I had to stop her from moving on to cleaning it off the plants.)

And in the inbetween spaces, I'm working on something new that has me so darn excited. Like oh my goodness this is really going to happen excited. I'm feeling plugged in to the reasons why I'm here and what I want to share with you. And in this moment, I'm pausing right here as Jon reads to Ellie down the hall and I'm bringing my hands to my heart and taking five deep breaths saying softly to myself, "Just keep showing up as you and those who get it will come along and stand beside you. Yes." 

Sending love and light,
Liz