As I happily say good-bye to 2005 (knowing that I will still be the same person when I wake up in 2006), I decided to take a moment to think about lessons learned this year.
Writing almost everyday over the last three months has given me a glimpse of someone I had forgotten existed inside me.
Accepting the love of another, someone who loves all of you (the good, the bad, the not so pretty, the beautiful), is a wonderful gift to give yourself.
Joining the library is a very cool thing to do.
The heart can hurt more than I ever thought it could. And I realize this means that at some point in the future, mine will hurt even deeper, wider than it did this year. I hope that there is a little time to heal before then, but I know that isn't how life always works.
I have knowledge inside of me, my own tools, to help with my journey in this life. I already know. Now, I just need to take my own advice (see this, this, and this post), so that I can see, feel, hear this knowledge that already exists.
The more I let go, the more my heart opens to new ideas, dreams, possibilities.
There is a dancer inside me, and she is manifesting in the disguise of a yoga teacher.
I really enjoy editing and I hope to create/have more and more job opportunities in my future. This is something I know I do well. And it feels good to know that about me, to own that this is true.
My spiritual journey is exactly that. My spiritual journey. It is okay to let go of the expectations of others in order to find the higher power within and outside of me.
I believe that I am, at heart, someone who often feels lonely. I am recognizing this and trying to find ways to feel this a little less. I am also trying to embrace that when I am alone, I am really not alone, because there are so many things that I can, want, need to do. And that when I am sad, the sadness does not mean that no one understands me.
The neverending lesson that I am in charge of my life. How I feel. What I do. Who I become. Lessons are repeated until learned and even then, sometimes they are repeated once again.
And there are days, when it all boils down to this for me:
(a storyperson by Brian Andreas)
I don't want another opportunity to learn & grow, she said.
I just want to eat crackers & watch Oprah & pet my cat.
Of course, I would be eating ice cream and petting Millie and still be in my pajamas.
I hope you take some time to think about what you learned in 2005. I would love to hear about your lessons.