scenes from an evening

*****

last evening, i closed the laptop and didn't open it again until this morning. the to do list is long and varied over here, but if i don't give myself permission to take a break, the truth is, the joy simply gets lost and seems to hang out with the dog fur under the couch.

this path is hard at times. this taking care of ellie and working from home each day. yesterday was a day when her health "stuff" was more front and center, and this adds a layer of emotion that is hard to explain. i keep trying to come up with a metaphor to help the people in my life understand, and all i can come up with is that having a child with specific health issues causes a family to feel a bit fractured...disjointed. the days are unpredictable. we get into the groove similar to what i imagine most parents of an eight-month old are in, and then i suddenly notice her heart beating faster than it should. i push myself not to panic but out comes the stethoscope and i listen, hoping. our days revolve around three doses of medication that must be refrigerated. i carry certain things in her diaper bag that other mamas probably don't because i know what it is like to be told that you have to go to the ICU. right. now. 

so when she finally fell asleep yesterday afternoon, and i was in a place where i was trusting she is going to be okay until i can talk to the cardiologist today, i decided to play with fabric for a change. pushing all my beads and lockets and list of custom orders to one side of the kitchen table, i began to sew something just for me. i probably should have napped (as the days and nights have been intense this week with a tooth finally popping through), but i just needed the rhythm of that sewing machine and the joy of patchworked colors side by side.

when jon got home, i closed the laptop and tried to just be right here in the moment with my little family. my heart felt bigger and more like it was at home as i simply took it all in...

i love that snapping just a few photos from this evening will always remind me of these truths.

a little wish

 

our little family sends this wish out into the world today

(for us and for you)

may this be the beginning of something good

happy new year

the view from here

::home::

 

ellie plays at home. yes. home. 

due to ellie jane's amazing superpower of healing, we have been home for 24 hours.

just like that.

(we expected to be at the hospital for at least a week.) 

thank you for surrounding us with light, love, support, notes, and prayers. we are so very grateful. this experience has me believing that love always wins, no matter what happens. yes. yes. yes.

let the healing continue...

this night.

 

scenes from this night

our little family together...

a blueberry girl

We are soaking up every minute with Miss Ellie Jane while also trying to learn her language and follow that often said to us adage "sleep when the baby sleeps." We are also hoping the sun will come out so we can take her on her first walk around the neighborhood (and maybe even venture to the Sound so she can soak up the senses of time spent at the water). 

Last week, we had a very intimate (just Jon, Ellie, our dear friend Juli, and me) "welcome to this world Eleanor Jane" ceremony.

The ceremony included special prayers and hopes and wishes for Ellie, and each of us read something to her. Jon read Blueberry Girl by Neil Gaiman. You can hear Neil reading it in the video above. It is a favorite book of ours and was the first book we bought when we learned I was pregnant last fall (agreeing that it is a beautiful book for a boy or a girl). I think you too will love it...

(During the ceremony, I read Ellie a just discovered by me poem by David Whyte that I will share later this week.)

Hope the sun is shining in your corner of the world...

welcome to this world sweet ellie jane

Eleanor Jane Lamoreux

"Ellie Jane"

Born June 3, 2010

7 pounds, 1 ounce

20 1/2 inches

Everyone is home and a new chapter has begun...

pieces of this day

the moments (of the last few days)

point defiance park view of puget sound . january 10, 2010

i have been more tired than productive (and productive is something i need to be) this weekend and last week was filled with quite a few emotional highs and lows in that way life is sometimes, but tonight, i am moved to share the moments of the last few days...

soaking up every word of a homemade life: stories and recipes from my kitchen table by molly wizenberg (i will write more about it soon. it is more like a gift than a cookbook. i am simply smitten with every page and am savoring the last few chapters like the last godiva chocolate).

watching julie & julia for the first time. what a joy that movie is. signs point toward me spending more time in the kitchen soon (hopefully when my mom visits next week, we can cook together and i can push away from nausea and lean in toward the goodness of cooking for and with my family).

taking a walk along puget sound with jonny. spotting a seal. sharing a few dreams. watching a little boy with his parents, so quick to explore on legs that have probably not been walking for too many weeks.

curling up with millie on the new red sofa. she seems to be very interested in my belly these days.

feeling grateful for friends who listen (especially when tears are falling on this end of the line).

angel hair pasta. really, i simply cannot get enough. and luckily i have a husband who doesn't mind cooking it (and everything else we eat around here these days).

enjoying a (new to me) movie called possession. the title invites one to think it is much different than it is. i found it to be a beautiful movie weaving two stories, one from the past and one now. a little poetry, a lot of romance, some heartache, wonderful music. i must investigate the book i think.

letting go of needing to answer email right away. i know it can be maddening to wait for someone to reply, but just remember, sometimes that someone is taking a break from the computer or just trying to get by or growing a human or spending time with family or breathing in and out or doing the best they can. (i will write back when i can. promise.)

spending time on etsy adding some things to my favorites, such as this and this and this.

naps under vintage quilts, one made by my great-grandmother and others thrifted. vintage quilts invite the best naps i think.

and in this moment, i wonder how things are in your world. what things did you fill up your weekend with? how are you? what are you wishing these days?

blessings and light, liz

december (views) 5

 

a together sort of quiet afternoon, december views