On Wednesday, I played along with Ali and her "day in the life" prompt. 

I decided to make it a day where I would use my (very much underutilized) 50mm macro lens all day long. My 17-70mm is my everyday lens, but it is seeing its last days (it is somehow chipped inside the lens, which I seem to only notice when I use video, but then Millie knocked my camera on the floor a few weeks ago and the lens now won't "close" all the way). I know I will replace it when I can since I love it so much but...I have this gorgeous 50mm lens and for some reason I have been telling myself that I don't know how to use it because I had trouble taking macro photos with it when I first bought it. And I am not one who likes learning curves when I am just trying to capture this everyday, which is how I usually use my camera.

But I honestly haven't used it since Viv has been teaching me one new thing about my camera each time I see her, so it was about time I tried it again. (I talked more about this in my interview over at 52 Photos Project...see the first question...)

And after I took this photo of me and Ellie just holding the camera with my arm extended, I fell in love with this 50mm lens for real this time.

Because we were both still under the weather Wednesday (and I still am...let this weekend please be about rest), I just tried to capture the nuances of our day together. I kind of love how it was just a quiet day...

By spending the day with this lens, I learned that it isn't hard to use at all. The one piece I was missing when i tried to take macro photos when I first bought this lens was that I could tell my camera where to focus. This simple piece was why I was so frustrated with the lens at first and why I haven't used it. (Wow. Isn't it amazing how we get in our own way so simply sometimes?) 

I am so so happy to have it in my bag of tricks now and will be using it as my daily lens for a while I think...

Also, I plan to use Ali's "day in the life" template to put these photos (and a few others) on one page to insert into Project Life. So thankful for the videos and other info Ali has on her blog so I can really learn how this weekend...

Here's to moments of ease and rest for you (for me) this weekend...

Blessings,

Liz

PS Those delightful hearts are available as a free download at my post over at Roots of She this week.

i would cut one out and Ellie would add it to her little stack across the room

I am thinking about you over there in you corner of the world.
I am thinking about you,
yes, you
sitting there with your tea beside you
and you with your long hair pulled back from your face
and you taking a break from writing another chapter
and you awake after everyone else is asleep
and you dreaming of getting the paints out after they go to school...

Read the rest of this post (that includes a free download of these hearts above put together by Kelly Barton) over at Roots of She.

*****

I also wanted to let you know about a new series on Creative Self-Care that I am starting this week for my newsletter subscribers. These newsletters will go out about twice a month and they will share ideas, stories, and other good things that are inspiring my own creative self-care practice. There might be a meditation or a story or an invitation to go on a photography adventure or a writing/journaling prompt or simply some words that I want to share. 

I will continue to send short newsletters about shop news, the retreats, workshops, books, and other projects, but when these topics are the only focus of the newsletter, I will always indicate this in the subject of the newsletter. (So it will say, for example, "Retreat News" or "Shop Sale" and so on.) This way you can quickly decide if the newsletter applies to your interests. 

I am really excited about sharing these practices and stories with you in this new way! Thank you for being part of this journey with me...

You can subscribe to my newsletter here.

today was full of a lot of things. ellie's first high fever. me still feeling very under the weather with this chest cold. ellie crying just because when she would usually be laughing or trying to run even faster down the hall. lots of disney junior and apple juice and bowls of peas. answering emails here and there. lots more cuddling than usual. me trying to choose kindness but failing. me wearing the same clothes as yesterday that i also wore to bed...oh wait...maybe i changed into different yoga pants but this shirt has all kinds of living on it...and you know i am sick when i am wearing one of jon's sweatshirts over my whole ensemble. a friend calling to say, "it is probably just a cold" and talking me down from my fear of "but what if it sets off the heart arrhythmia and i can't go to the picu with her because i have a cold?" listening to an awesome interview with meryl streep while working during her nap. watching this paul simon on sesame street video on repeat because every time it ended ellie would make the sign for "more" which usually means more cheese or more juice but today meant more paul (i adore her). talking on skype with my mom, and ellie instigating peek-a-boo with her (the first time ellie has really interacted in such a clear way while we are on skype...it was awesome). reading alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day to ellie because well, parts of yesterday and today have felt a bit like that and after she rubbed hand sanitizer into her eyes not long after falling/tripping a few times because she keeps trying to run even though she doesn't feel well...well... i thought we both needed to hear those words and she sat listening to the entire story.

and in the middle of all of it, when her fever broke, she insisted on going outside (which means she brought her boots to me and then stood at the sliding glass door pointing to the outside saying her version of "now") and so out we went for a bit. the sky was blue and the weather was warm and there were so many birds chattering and eating and milie ran and ran in the yard and ellie ran with her for a bit and i found myself suddenly face to face with the cherry tree stretching toward spring.

how about that? even while overwhelm swirls and worry tries to pitch a tent at the edge of things and my body insists on rest and i sometimes forget to choose love and the to do list is still just as long, spring is still on her way.

how are things in your corner of the world? what are you noticing today?

last week's project life layout (can you spot my favorite part of this photo?)

i am so delighted to be humming along with Project Life over here. i got a bit behind but am filling in the missing pieces here and there and am really enjoying it. and it makes me so happy that jon is getting involved every now and then. two weeks ago, he and ellie were dancing to a few songs after dinner and i snapped some photos. after he put ellie to bed, he asked me if i would be sure to print one of those photos out for project life so he could write down a few words. YES! and the empty space above is for him to write a bit about his day in Portnald since the photos are all about ellie and me and our week together (since jon was mostly working).

one thing i appreciate about my experience so far with project life is that it continually pushes me to let go of perfection. i am so inspired by other people who scrapbook and capture everyday life this way. and when i started project life, i imagined incorporating more "stuff" in my layouts. not a lot, but i did envision printing out a few digital elements or writing the stories in pretty fonts sometimes or simply just adding a few small bits and bobs and rounding the corners of my photos and how the list goes on. however, i am letting that go for now because my goal is just to get the photos and stories into the binder. and because i found a pen i really like (no surprise here...am totally using my Smash journal pen), i am happy to be writing the stories by hand.

another aspect of my experience that i find interesting is how i go from writing the stories like i am writing them to ellie (as though they are little letters to her) to writing the stories like project life is really for me (as opposed to being "for" my family). it will be interesting to see how this continues to unfold. i am including self-portraits (like the one above that is from my "what is real" series) and more personal things (like a photo of a list in the self-care section of my journal) partly because i don't want to censor myself because project life is for the three of us. i think there can a temptation to just share the happy when we scrapbook for our families, but when i look back on these stories + photos, i want to see the real in all its forms. 

having project life out where i see it everyday helps remind me to capture the stories when i think of them. and i continue to love how the canon selphy printer makes project life easier for me. i have the printer out next to the binder. i am also using the timer on my camera to capture ellie and me in some of our everyday moments, which really makes me happy. i think she will love these photos. actually, tonight as i was putting the photos in the binder she was really interested in what i was doing. later, she pulled me back to the kitchen table to look through the binder again like we were looking through one of her books. she pointed to all the little things from her daily life (her drink, crayons, mama, grandma, daddy, oranges, and so on) just like she enjoys doing with her books. it was awesome.

moving forward, i do plan to print out a few prompts using some of ali's phrases and other good things at designer digitals. i like the idea of handing a card with a prompt on it to jon or our babysitter or a friend who might be visiting and asking them to share a few words about the day with prompts like "today i want to remember" or "favorite moment of today." and i hope to buy a few things from france when she reopens her shop. i would also like to have some 4x6 cardstock ready to go to use as backgrounds or larger journaling cards. looking at the layout above, i wonder about that mostly blank date card almost everyone uses in the top left corner. i wonder if most people leave it blank or if some journal right onto it. it would be fun to add a few words every now and then maybe using letter stamps.

are you using project life? if yes, i would love to hear about how its going for you. and if you aren't, can you spot my favorite part of the photo on this page? makes me smile every time.

a glimpse into evening work + play

This week is full of days that are "just us girls." Work has Jon away many evenings and unexpectedly out of town all day Saturday. This means the overwhelm continues to wait in the wings, hoping for its cue. As I sit with the reality that a cold arrived last night and has decided to stay for a bit, I am sifting through my self-care moves to see what might work for me today as I know I have to cross off things on my "must be done today" to-do list.

As I mentioned in my video post earlier this week, I have been thinking a lot about this illusion people have when they ask, "How do you do it all?" I am still not sure what "it" is exactly, but this is what I am thinking about this morning: A big part of this illusion of someone else "doing it all" has to do with how someone observing another fills in the cracks with assumptions.

And in the blogging/social networking world many of us "live" in, the observations another makes are just a tiny slice of what is real. Just a tiny slice of what someone puts out into the world. And we put our own spin on what we see and read and hear as it goes through our own filter. I think part of what pushes people away from connections that are made in this blogging community is that they feel the weight of the assumptions others are making about them, and perhaps, even more than that, they feel the weight of the assumptions they are making about others.

As I hear Ellie stirring and begin to slip into yet another role I will play today, I want to echo the words I said in Tuesday's video because I need to write them here to remind myself: Being enough does not mean doing everything. Being enough does not mean doing it all.

Let's be gentle with one another today. Let's be gentle with ourselves. Let's release our grip on the shoulds and the assumptions. Let's listen to what we most need and love ourselves so that we can live from a place of open-hearted love as we move about the world. Let's try to live from a place where we believe the people we meet, where we believe we, are already enough.

Yesterday was a day full of overwhelm, and as I found myself practicing self-care in many ways today, I wanted to share a few of the thoughts that led me from there to here. (You will see the video is in two parts because of an interruption in the middle and then Ellie makes an appearance at the end, which still has me laughing just a bit.)

In the video, I mention Jen Lee's new Iconic Self Home Retreat Kit and I am wearing the "you don't have to be so good" t-shirt that is part of the Iconic Self. I am just diving into the conversation between Jen and Phyllis Mathis that takes place over four CDs, and I will share more about my experience with this kit soon. (so so good)

(And I can't help but tell you that the wall behind me used to have three huge bookcases on it that we moved last week while my mom was here. and now it is a blank canvas for some photos I have been wanting to put up for a long time. Can't wait to show you more as I keep making this house into the home we most want live in.)

*****

This week, I am readying the Create Space classroom for the session that begins this Sunday. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have these conversations about how we can create space for all that we feel and experience and how we can honor who we are, where we have been, and where we want to go.

I want to share what Stephani, a participant from the last session, said in response to one of the lessons in the course:

I've never really asked myself, "What do you need today, kid?" I know what I want, but have never given myself real permission to give it voice and to allow it to be real and not a dream of "one day, maybe some time in the future." Such emotion has filled me today because I believe I CAN, instead of wondering IF I can. This practice for me personally has lifted a layer of self-doubt, negative talk and given me the motivation to throw out my beautiful box of excuses with tomorrow's trash…I truly am where I need to be right now.

You can read a few more testimonials over on the Create Space page. Registration is ongoing until class begins next week.

Blessings and light,

Liz

Before my mother came to visit last week, we were on the phone planning what we would do while she was here. Our conversation centered on me wanting to rearrange my living room.

As we talked, I found myself standing in front of the china closet saying, “Why do I have this teapot that held those violets at Grandma’s funeral? She never even owned this teapot. Why did someone decide to send it thousands of miles to me? I don’t even have a photo of her up but each day I see this teapot and think about her funeral. I want to think about her life. I just want to get this stuff out of my house.”

I have told myself so many stories to avoid looking at all the stuff....

Read the rest of this post about how I am sifting through what it means to "make a home" over at Roots of She...

a few of the new items now in the shop, including several new items added to the heart.full collection

Last February, I shared a bit about the girl I used to be:

She wasn’t one for a month all about love or stringing hearts up about the house. She rolled her eyes at the idea of one day when someone you call sweetheart is supposed to buy you roses. She had spent so many days alone that even when she found herself in love and loved in return, she still tried to ignore this need others had to make one day about something that never quite felt real. She was quiet about it but mostly tolerated seeing everyone in red, and then she bought the chocolates when they went on sale.

And in that post, I shared how part of this story changed forever on a day in the summer of 2010. Now I am a girl who loves hearts (as in I kind of can't get enough), who believes that "love is all you need," who believes we must invite in joy and peace and love each day, who believes in turning the idea of Valentine's Day on its head and making it more about love for self, for kindreds, for those who help you say "yes" to knowing you are not alone and that your story matters.

Last February, the Heart.Full Collection was created as a way to say thank you to the hospitals that saved Ellie Jane's life in 2010 and to honor that love comes into our lives in so many ways. 15% of the profits from this collection are split between Mary Bridge Children's Hospital and Seattle Children's.

And I am happy to share that starting today through Valentine's Day, I will be giving 10% of all the profits from each item sold in the shop to the Heart.Full Collection contributions I will make this year with your help. Thank you for your support and kindness. Thank you for sharing your stories and catching mine.

*****

I am delighted to share that I am part of 52 Photos Project's Handmade Valentine's Day showcase this week! Each day Bella is highlighting a shop and mine is up today.

I hope you will visit 52 Photos Project throughout the week to see what other good things Bells shares.

an in this moment photo from my 365(+1) self-portrait project
(and, of course, my smash journal yet again)

I am pretending we are having tea this evening as I want to share a few things with you:

I keep meaning to tell you that I wrote a poem and shared it at Roots of She earlier this month. I love poetry (big). 

Bella's video has me simply delighted. Every bit of it. The shadows. The music. The simple moment captured. (Of course, I also love that she mentions that she likes her One Word Girl necklace...but...really, I am inviting you to head over there to watch her video).

Speaking of Bella, she interviewed me this week over at 52 Photos Project. I so enjoyed her questions and sharing about self-portraiture and other good things. And I love that this interview pushed me to continue to own that I am indeed a photographer. (I tend to think of myself as a person who uses my camera as a tool to capture the moments of my life and sift through them, but I seldom use the word "photographer" when describing myself. Working on this one.)

I have so enjoyed this recent session of Emerge over at Live It to the Full. Teaching with Jenna and Viv is so much fun and deeply inspiring for me. And both of them have some incredible offerings right now. Check out Jenna's writing workshops and ecourses here (her intimate MFA-style writing workshop looks awesome). Find out more about Viv's photography ecourses here (and I am so so delighted that she is bringing back Swan Dive this Spring as I am so ready for it).

Have you seen Jen Lee's new t-shirts as part of the release of The Iconic Self? Oh my goodness that girl knows just what her kindreds need to hear (and wear). I was lucky enough to get my hands on one of her "Gentle Spirit...." tanks a few weeks ago and I have been known to wear it for several days in a row when I most need to be reminded of my hidden badass self. I am going to snap a photo of me wearing it soon. And I will also be sharing more on The Iconic Self next month. (Jen is sharing such good good things with the world.)