writing notes to myself filled with the words i most need to here and hiding them in my journal so i will find them again just when i need them.

working hard on several project launches and giving myself permission to just experience it all as it unfolds.

celebrating the joy that is true collaboration.

dancing with ellie to donna summer on repeat.

sitting on the backporch and watching the rain rain rain come down down down.

anticipating next month's your story retreat and the goodness that awaits.

cleaning up after millie and ellie. a lot.

catching up on the last few weeks of project life (and still loving it).

delighting in the "helping" ellie has been doing lately as she takes one piece of laundry at a time from the laundry room to our bed or her chair in her bedroom.

feeling deep gratitude for our kind babysitter.

noticing the little ways jon is helping in the evenings.

trusting a little more with each breath.

overlooking puget sound . may 17

Life around here feels like a daily journey of holding the beauty in one hand and the intensity that is life...that is parenting and marriage and health stuff and running my own business in limited hours and product launches and collaborations...that is navigating the energy of the Internet...that is remembering self-care and kindness in the midst of it all...that is doing the best I can...in the other.

As I thought about what to post here today, I headed over to Flickr to see if there was a photo that would inspire me to write something in this space. As I looked through the Instagram photos I posted last week, I realized that almost every day, I used what I call my "In This Moment" practice to keep myself grounded through it all.

This practice is about taking a photo to capture a moment + writing down a few words to pair with the photo. But it really is about using your camera and a few words as a meditation to be more present to the simple (and sometimes profound) moments that make up your daily life. It's about letting the camera get you out of your head and into your awareness of the beauty and realness and joy and sometimes even sadness that punctuates your life. It's about writing down field notes that tell the stories so you will remember. It's about being your own witness.

The words I wrote down a couple of days after taking the photo of Puget Sound at the top of this post:

I sat in the car with the windows rolled down while she softly snored in the backseat. The birds were chattering, the waves were lapping far below me as two boats sailed by. This moment was so excruciatingly simple + beautiful that my only option was to take out my notebook and write a poem. Poetry + getting out of my head saves me every time.

Sometimes I write a little paragraph like this, but most of the time, I write simple thoughts and short sentences.

What I know: This bringing me flowers stage is awesome.

I am 100% as tired as I look, yet here I am soaking up the sun and doing my best.
(hairstyle by EJ)

In this moment, I am soaking up the rich deep real beauty that is a handwritten letter.

truth = long day. just being right here. leaning into trust.

today was a softer day because the iPhone stayed in my purse.

Looking through these photos today, this is what I know: This practice isn't about the perfect photo. It's about taking a moment to capture your world (yourself) and then writing down a piece of the story. The photo above of Ellie and me isn't the best photo ever, but I love it for lots of reasons. Of course, it looks very sweet...this mother and daughter with flowers in their hair cuddled up together. And the moment was very sweet. But the moments surrounding it were full of the intensity of Ellie wearing a heart monitor for 24 hours and the reality of her heart issues right in my face every time I looked at it paired with the awesome yet exhausting always on the move insistent teething toddler that she is right now. I wanted to capture pieces of all of this realness in the short words I paired with this photo.

Before I decided to write this post, when I was looking through these photos + words, I began to feel the space inside me expand with each breath. Honestly, I began to feel gentler with myself, which is why I decided to write this post today. I was experiencing a shift from listing the ways I am not enough (which was what I was beginning to do this morning) to seeing myself and knowing I am...I am...I am...

*****

In "The Gift of This Moment," I dive deeper into this practice. I share stories and prompts and other good things to guide you into developing your own "In This Moment" practice so that you will begin to integrate it into your daily creative self-care. 

One reason I do this practice is because I want to remember. Because I would love to look through an album of photos from the everyday moments of my own childhood and read my mother's words about the beautiful, real, hard, joyful days we experienced as a family. I would love to spend an evening with a friend and be given the gift of sitting together sifting through pages of her photos + words to get to know her even more. These days, so many of our photos stay on our computers, and I want to hold them in my hands and read pieces of the stories that make up this crazy life.

This leads me to one of my favorite parts of this kit: You will print out your photos and put them into the In This Moment: Field Journal and Photo Album and pair them with your field notes so that you can hold in your hands the evidence of the ways you tell story. I imagine you out there in your corner of the world carrying your Field Journal with you and capturing a photo and then jotting down a few lines in your journal because you don't want to forget how you found the space to be a witness to your own story.

The Gift of This Moment Home Retreat Kit is available for pre-order and will ship in June. Each week leading up to its release, I will be sharing a bit more about the pieces you will find inside; you can read all the posts about it here. 

The Nine is an interview series with creative folks that began on my blog, Be Present, Be Here, in the Spring of 2009; the interviewees are asked to respond to nine questions in photographs (or video). All the interviews can be found here.

Today, I am delighted that kindred Bella Cirovic is answering these Nine questions. Gosh I adore this girl and her way of looking at the world. She is brave and real, and these traits shine through in her photographs. 

Enjoy these glimpses into Bella's world... 

 *****

Question 1: Who are you?

Question 2: In this moment, where are you?

Question 3: What are the textures of your corner of the world?

Question 4: If you had an hour alone to just play, what would you do?

Question 5: How do you seek joy?

Question 6: What nourishes you?

Question 7: When you need to simply take a breath and ground yourself, what do you do?

Question 8: How do you nurture your creative dreams?

Question 9: Does your heart have a secret wish you want to share?

*****

Bella Cirovic is a photographer and visual storyteller who lives in the suburbs just outside of NYC.

She shares her stories and photos at her blog, She Told Stories and is the hostess of the 52 Photos Project. 

All photos copyright Bella Cirovic. Bio photo of Bella by Thea Coughlin.

"I want you to imagine a climber who is about to climb up a mountain, or maybe even just a climbing wall that is indoors."

And so begins your invitation into The Gift of This Moment, a home retreat kit that includes practices for reflective living that have been hand holds for me on my journey.

In this kit, I invite you to sink into my stories as though we are sitting together tucked in a cabin in the Pacific Northwest woods. And as you listen, you will begin to see how these hand holds can become part of your daily practice.

But because we can't always be together tucked into a cabin, Jen Lee has helped me gather up all these pieces into a home retreat kit for you: no plane ticket required.

"It isn't about finding the perfect solution to make life better. It's about practicing and just showing up, and the beauty that just showing up gives you."

Next week, I'll begin looking at each piece of this kit to give you an insider's glimpse into why I believe these practices can give you the gift of getting to know the one person who knows you, who gets you, who can best support you: You. 

The Gift of This Moment Home Retreat Kit includes:

• "The Gift of this Moment: Practices for Mindful Living" professionally recorded audio CD 
• In This Moment: Field Journal and Photo Album, hardcover, double wire bound, 88 pages 
• Seen: A Mirror Meditation Journal 
• Five Days in April: A Poetry Collection 
• Breathing from the Heart: Guided Meditations 
• "Rejuvenate. Reconnect. Retreat." Mini Black Tote . . . and more!

Available now for pre-order right here. It releases next month, and I can't wait for you to hold it in your hands.

Special "early-bird" gift: We are creating a special private Facebook group for people who order early. This private group will be an opportunity to begin these practices in community. I will be checking in and answering questions and sharing a few other stories along the way. I will also be creating a few video lessons just for this private group. My intention behind the group is that it will be a place to feel supported and an opportunity to share your own stories as you explore "The Gift of This Moment."

When the sun comes out in the Seattle area and it isn't the middle of summer yet, well, we get a little excited. And when it shines for days and days, we start to act a little silly as we soak it all up. Over here, Ellie is clearing the yard of all dandelions and Millie is rolling around on the grass as though she can't believe it feels warm. 

To celebrate this sun and to continue to create space in my studio as I keep finding more necklaces and beads and lockets that I have been meaning to put in the shop for months, I am having a shop sale. Just use coupon code MAYSUNSHINE for 20% off everything in the shop through 5/17.

When you visit this shop, you will see that I am continuing to take a break from custom orders for a few months. However, the shop is stocked with new items that I think you will enjoy. Lots of new soul mantra phrases and the return of some old favorites. And lots of new beaded necklaces and a few bracelets. Most of the items are now ready to ship and many are one of a kind.

You will also see a new collection called "She Stories." When I unearthed an old idea journal a few months ago, I came across a list of very short stories beginning with the phrase "she who..." My original plan for these little stories included tucking them inside the pockets of bags, but instead I am "tucking them" inside lockets. Each of these very shorts stories are inspired by the women in my life and the ways they share their light with the world. [Half of this first batch of She Stories has already "flown out the door." So delighted that these are speaking to you because I really love them!]

***

And I want to say a big thank you (as in oh my goodness if you came over for tea today I would give you a huge hug + cupcake kind of thank you) for your enthusiastic response to yesterday's post about my "Inner Excavate-along" idea! Wow! Your comments really filled me up with so much joy and gratitude and pushed me to know that it is totally okay to feel the way I feel and want to celebrate my book and honor it at this time. 

More details coming soon! I am cooking up a few things to really kick it off! And right now the tentative start date is June 11. 

We are going to have so much fun!

Inner Excavation edits . Spring 2010

In 2010, I had two babies: One was a curious, joy-filled, now-soon-to-be two beana named Ellie Jane. The other was an invitation to be curious and look inward and find your inner poet + capture the world through your lens + make something 144-page book named Inner Excavation.

And as those two creations found their way into the world, life turned a bit upside down as Ellie’s health and newborn needs pushed me to focus solely on her.

afternoon nap . late July 2010

Inner Excavation started shipping from Amazon while we were at Seattle Children’s Hospital when Ellie had her open-heart surgery in the fall of 2010. I simply didn’t have space to think about it. And the lack of space around this truth means I actually haven’t even reread my book. 

(I’ve wanted to write this here for a long time - this piece about how I haven’t really let in joy about my book being in the world because there wasn’t space for it because I was in this place holding fear and love as my daughter had life-saving surgery. And then I was in that place that is life with a baby who becomes an on-the-move toddler who is still overcoming health stuff.)

But sitting here with the sun coming in through the windows while my daughter sleeps down the hall, I am thinking about how I am ready to open the pages of my book and read it and work through some of the prompts again.

And I’m wondering if you want to join me?

I’m thinking this summer here on the blog. Kind of like a read along meets a free ecourse. Probably seven weeks with the seven chapters + a Flickr group where we can share what we create from the prompts in the book + some guest posts from a few of the book’s incredibly inspiring contributors. And videos from me where I share some new thoughts about the topics in the book and share my new responses to some of the prompts.

I would love for you to come along…

Taking Ellie out into the world where there are lots of people can be intense sometimes as it can be with toddlers. She wants to walk where she wants to walk and she mostly wants to just keep walking to see all that she can see and find lots of grates in the street and sidewalk and not spend time looking through adorable booths of very good things at the Fremont Market where we went this morning at my request because I wanted crepes.

But then I spotted a few flowered oh my goodness those colors! vintage suitcases tucked under some vintage clothes in a booth. And suddenly we very much agreed on stopping to look around.

After I bought them, she would not let them go. 

As in a "we are going to wait for daddy in this spot and I am in charge of the suitcases so don't you touch them I really mean it" sort of not letting them go.

As in an "I see you looking at them because you think I am in the way but I am setting up my own booth right here thank you very much" sort of way.

With several minutes of "I think some other people might see how awesome these are and try to take them so I am just going to keep my eyes on them and stand right here." 

And then she insisted on carrying them to the car.

Gosh I love this kid.

And oh how I love these suitcases! Found them in a booth run by this delightful Etsy seller who I found out has a little "only open on some Saturdays" shop here in Tacoma that I can't wait to visit soon. 

1. Amanda over at Kind Over Matter has created a gorgeous new book called Zen & the Art of Being a Work-at-Home Mama. I am honored to be one of the women interviewed in this book and was lucky enough to read a sneak peek this week. 

And as I was reading, I kept nodding my head and thinking about how the experience was like being curled up on the couch with a dear friend sharing stories about all that being a work-at-home mama means. Amanda holds nothing back as she shares glimpses into her real world paired with accessible tips you can implement right now. I loved every word! If you are a creative mama who needs to be reminded you are not alone in this crazy, real, awesome, hard magical work-at-home world, then this book is for you.  

2. Washi tape: So this is most of my ever-growing collection. I'm working on a project that has me playing with paper + words + color over here and washi tape is playing a big part. When I posted this on Instagram, people asked a few questions, so I wanted to share some of my resources. My favorite online shops are: Pretty Tape and Freckled Fawn. The birds on wire and in birdcages, the arrows, and the silhouette tapes are from Michaels (they have them right now). There is some Tim Holtz tissue tape in there too.

3. Oh my goodness how I love Molly's blog over at Orangette. And her post about granola bars had my stomach rumbling and then had me looking at several of her granola recipes,which caused me to begin to feel nostalgic for something I've never even experienced (aka home made granola baking in the oven while I sit at the counter doing a crossword puzzle). This weekend, granola in some form or another will be made around these parts.

4. Have you seen Jennifer Louden's new Creating Your Own Mastermind Group course? I've signed up and can't wait! 

5. Remembering this simple truth: When I get out of the house alone, even if just for a few minutes, I feel like I reboot and come back to center. And reading Andrea's blog post this week (and her link to this article) had me really feeling like I'm not alone (or crazy) in wanting and needing this. 

*****

Every now and then I make a list of five (really) good things. Sometimes I make this list just because I want to make a list (like today) and share some good things. But other times I do this practice because even on the days when there seems to be more crappy stuff than beauty, the beauty, well, it is still there. And finding it is how I keep my heart just a bit more open these days...

Today, I am introducing a new series of guest posts from a few of the ladies who have attended my retreats over the last few years. My hope is that these posts will not only give you a glimpse into the Be Present Retreats, but also invite you to realize the importance of taking time away from your daily life to recharge, connect with your kindreds, and rekindle your creativity.

And I am thrilled that my friend Stacy Kathryn is kicking off this series today! Read on...

*****

The first time I was really awakened to the power of art, of the ability to evoke emotion in others and make people feel and understand without a word being spoken, it changed my perspective on life. But the ability to create is arguably a skill, like playing a musical instrument, and it requires effort and practice to improve upon. It requires a set of tools both tangible like paintbrushes or a camera, but it also means looking at tools in a broader sense.

The internet is a powerful tool in itself. There is a seemingly endless supply of resources at our fingertips for any interest we may have. And as an artist, it's a great place to connect with others from across the globe to share your thoughts and ideas, learn new skills and techniques, and communicate with others you might normally never have met. One could argue, though, that for as well connected as we all are, there's a certain isolation that comes with being behind a computer screen as well. That's where artist retreats have been extremely beneficial to me.

Now, I'm not what you'd call an extrovert by any stretch of the imagination. It's just not in me to interact with a group of people as effortlessly as some do. But taking a big step outside of my comfort zone to meet people who share my interests and feel the same way I do about art has been well worth the butterflies in my stomach - and these "strangers" quickly become good friends.

When people come together for a common goal, the energy and positivity in the air is remarkable. It's at these retreats that I always find a little part of me that has been missing. I also manage to walk away every time with invaluable tools to add to that creative toolbox of mine, as well as heaps of encouragement from my new-found friends. For me, one of the biggest "tools" I've picked up recently is writing poetry. Something I learned more about at the Be Present Midwest Retreat, and learning a whole new way to look at words and how we can put them together into these beautiful, mysterious, evocative poems. And different forms of art all have a way of finding relationships to each other. Being a mixed media artist allows me to draw from many inspiring sources: pictures, poems, paint, put together they seek a natural balance all their own at times and conspire to form new beautiful things in the process.

When I returned home from that retreat last May, I was bursting at the seams with ideas, inspiration, and new tools to put to use. I've been writing more than ever, eager to try out many of the new techniques I'd learned, and it helped me to see what I've created in a different way. I encourage you to take the leap, if you never have, and attend an artist's retreat. You will be truly amazed at what you can learn from so much creativity in one place. And you just might inspire someone else with your own ideas and thoughts!

How have you added to your creative toolbox lately? Was it a retreat, e-course, or just jumping into something new?

(Please feel free to share your answers in the comments today.)

*****

Stacy Kathryn is an artist, and dreamer who loves to spend time creating mixed media paintings and jewelry. Though her life has taken many twists and turns her passion for art has been a constant companion. She hopes to share her enthusiasm and inspire others to embrace change and creativity. You can check out her blog and website for a little bit of inspiration, or go check her shop out which is filled to the brim with fun, colorful goodies!