serendipity in blog world

Last summer I was reading a few blogs on a daily basis, though I hadn't started my own. One afternoon I linked to a new blog, then another, then another and at some point I read a post that had a link to a webpage of artwork by an artist that that blogger loved. And there I found this. And my eyes filled a bit because this was it. What I had been looking for that combined my grandmother's love of hummingbirds with her love of gardening. That summer my husband and I had started a garden for the first time, and I felt a connection to my grandmother every time I walked around to see what was growing or found the perfect plant to attract butterflies and hummingbirds. Even though I couldn't talk to her about it, I could feel like her spirit was with me during these moments. We had been to several art fairs and garden shops but I had yet to find what I wanted. Something I could have that would remind me that she is with me.

I remember calling my husband into my home office saying, "look at this, it is perfect!!" He immediately agreed and said I should buy one of them. But they were out. And I was so sidetracked by that thought that I didn't bookmark the page. And could never find it again. I would think about this Hummingbird Lady every now and then and wish she was living in my home, but again, I couldn't remember the webpage or the artist's name.

Then in January I started reading Alexandra's blog. And then she introduced her friend Laini's blog. I was drawn to Laini's artwork and one day ventured out onto her webpage. I was linking from page to page and found this (which speaks to my soul) and in trying to find out if she had prints for sale, I linked to a page and suddenly I thought, "I have been here before." And then I linked on to Laini's Ladies...and gasped. The Hummingbird Lady. Laini (my new blog world friend) is the creator of the Hummingbird Lady. Amazing. Simply. Utterly. Fantastically. Amazing.

So now, I am blessed with a Hummingbird Lady in my house. She sits above me as I work, create, write, dream. She watches the hummingbirds out the window. She looks over my ever-present tulips. She reminds me I am not alone. Thank you Laini.

This month delights me for many reasons, the main one: Spring. She is trying to spread her wings and sing her song. We may have had traces of snow here (SNOW!) but the flowers are blooming and the sun is shining. At the same time, I am reminded that this time last year, I was able to call my grandmother to say, "the daffodils are blooming and my tulips have buds." And I certainly would have called her for tips about what to do with the snow and my budding plants. This time last year, we were having our last few conversations but neither one of us knew it. Later in March, last year, she was going through many tests and was tired and the doctors could not figure it out. I am entering that time when the anniversary of her death looms in front of me. It is still a month away, but it sits heavy on my heart.

Yet, in the midst of it, the serendipity of the blog world brings a smile to my face. Earlier this week, Hobess sent me a beautiful collage she had created for me. (Thank you my dear.) It touched my heart and reminded me again that through this grief, something amazing is blooming. New friendships, I am learning so much from others and myself, my own creativity is bursting...life through death. The cycle.

My grandmother is smiling more than she ever did while she was here and laughing louder than she ever would and flying with the hummingbirds.